Mindee disliking new starter
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  1. #1
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    Default Mindee disliking new starter

    Hi, I have looked after a child for 2 half years, always the life and soul, very friendly, no problems, apart from usual toddler ones, she has just turned 3.
    5 months ago I took on another child, who will be 2 next month, very sweet, quiet, in fact probably the most placid, easy going child I've ever looked after in over 10 years of minding, now the issue, my 3 year old has taken a real dislike to her, the first thing she asks as she comes in my door, is whether said child is coming, cries and cries if she is, or is already there, have to peel her off mum, she will sit and cry for about 20 minutes, refuses to do anything, will come round for small episodes during the day, but really dislikes this child, I have no idea why. it is becoming a problem, has anybody else had any issues like this before, any suggestions would be greatly received. I have to be honest and say my 3 year old is not going anywhere without a struggle at the moment (pre school, nannies etc) and I'm wondering if she is using my newbie as her reason to not want to come here, today I have only had to mention said child's name and she has gone off the scale, it almost looks like she's scared of her, she honestly has a look of fear.

  2. #2
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    Aww it can be really hard when children don't get on...

    Have you tried planning lots of things to do together - and storytelling about being friends and working together?

    Hopefully it's a phase which passes soon x

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by sarah707 View Post
    Aww it can be really hard when children don't get on...

    Have you tried planning lots of things to do together - and storytelling about being friends and working together?

    Hopefully it's a phase which passes soon x
    Hi, yes I have been doing All About Me books where we have had a lovely time collecting family photographs etc, talking about everyones family and likes and dislikes, I really hope this is a phase.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
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    Quote Originally Posted by luckylady22 View Post
    Hi, I have looked after a child for 2 half years, always the life and soul, very friendly, no problems, apart from usual toddler ones, she has just turned 3.
    5 months ago I took on another child, who will be 2 next month, very sweet, quiet, in fact probably the most placid, easy going child I've ever looked after in over 10 years of minding, now the issue, my 3 year old has taken a real dislike to her, the first thing she asks as she comes in my door, is whether said child is coming, cries and cries if she is, or is already there, have to peel her off mum, she will sit and cry for about 20 minutes, refuses to do anything, will come round for small episodes during the day, but really dislikes this child, I have no idea why. it is becoming a problem, has anybody else had any issues like this before, any suggestions would be greatly received. I have to be honest and say my 3 year old is not going anywhere without a struggle at the moment (pre school, nannies etc) and I'm wondering if she is using my newbie as her reason to not want to come here, today I have only had to mention said child's name and she has gone off the scale, it almost looks like she's scared of her, she honestly has a look of fear.
    I have always found that the '3' years are the most challenging and not the 'terrible twos'! maybe she feels a bit put out as she has been with you longer and she doesn't know how to deal with it. I've had children who moan and complain if certain mindees are coming whom they are not fond of but not to the extent you say. I would do things with both of them and not leave them to their own devices until you are sure they will get on, apart from that I think it's just a waiting game.

  5. #5
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    That's just what I thought a bit put out by new comer. Not that they don't like/ get on a bit of jealousy as someone new has come in. Praise child when she's calm and ignore uncalled for behaviour. Wait it out they will soon be fine I bet.

  6. #6
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    It can be hard when a new mindee starts - children are involved when their mum is expecting another baby so they don't feel left out, but you can't always give much notice to them when you take on a new child.

    I took on a 2 year old some years ago at very short notice and the 2 year old I had looked after since 6 months really hated the new child and would attack her as soon as my back was turned, he had been the baby of the family and he really resented the "cuckoo in the nest".

 

 

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