rush home or wait around?

**Bluebell** · 31-08-2016, 08:59 AM

I'm wondering how best to deal with an unusual request.

I collect from a local primary school and have been requested to do after school care for a little boy who goes to another primary school. The Mum has arranged a friend to collect the boy and drop him to me. She has asked me to arrange with this other Mum where and when to meet.

I will collect at the primary school and I think it will take me the same amount of time to walk home as it will for the lady to drive from the further away primary school. So the question is should I meet her at my house and make her wait for me if she beats me or wait at the primary school until she can get to me to ensure there is no time difference?

I think I should walk home and if the other lady has to wait a bit then it shouldn't be too much of a problem but if I wait at the school it is hanging around and with children when in bad weather won't be that good an idea! I think I may be answering my own question here!!!

I could meet half way but theres no where really to stop and again one of us would be hanging around!

Although in my head I'm thinking its the best thing to get home and let the other lady wait I hate the feeling of rush! I like to take my time and will have 3 little ones and a schoolie in tow. I won't be able to stop at the park on the way home and if the schoolie is late out it will be stressful trying to get home. At the same time I hate the thought of someone waiting for me - especially when it is a lady doing a favour by driving someones child to me - aggghhh!!

It's the one thing I haven't missed - the feeling of rushing and being late. I always seemed to be waiting for a parent to turn up so i could get going on the school run and then rushing back for someone dropping off after the school run and never wanting to keep anyone waiting! I'm not the fittest of people and I know the first week back doing the school run is going to be exhausting!!

I don't want to get in the habit of driving them all up there again as by the time i get them all in and all out at the other end and into the pushchair and walked form the nearest available parking and so on its just almost as quick just to have walked in the first place!

Does anyone have any advice for this? I have already made it clear to one Mum whose time is close to the school run that I need to leave for the school run at a certain time and therefore if she is late I will go without her and she will have to contact me to arrange where to drop her child off! Do you think that is unreasonable?

**FloraDora** · 31-08-2016, 10:44 AM

I would definitely meet at your house - that way if you are first your LO's are somewhere warm and dry....the others have the comfort of their car. Could it be different arrangements sometimes ...like whilst the weather supports it, could they drop off at the park, that way your LO's can play whilst waiting? Then as the nights draw in change the arrangements to meet at home.

I think the whole thing sounds like a bag of nails though.
What happens if the person dropping off the child is ill? If they have an appt after school? If they are doing it voluntarily how reliable will they be? It's my experience that something like this starts as a good deed ...then holes start to appear and eventually it all breaks down. Is this person going to do this for as long as the child is at the school? Like you say, they could be waiting most nights outside for you...those minutes could be ticking away with resentment unless the taxi driver is an angel. Has this person really thought through this generous offer of help?

Plus if you will be rushed to get home which isn't good for the children currently in your care....or you...so many opportunities missed to make the school run into more fun.

Sorry to be doom and gloom!

**SYLVIA** · 01-09-2016, 07:18 AM

Have to agree here. I've turned down work like this before. Unless the parents have all aspects covered and understand that you won't change the plans should the other person lets them down due to illness holiday etc I wouldn't take it on. We all like to help but these situations have a way of going wrong.

**Mouse** · 01-09-2016, 09:15 AM

Would it be 5 nights a week?

I may consider it for a couple of nights a week, but not every night. Even then I would only do it on a trial basis to see how things work out. I would say that I would be home and ready to take the child at X o'clock. Whatever happens before then isn't your responsibility - so if mum & the lift fall out, or if the person giving the lift is ill or on holiday, or if the person giving the lift wants to drop them off early, it's nothing to do with you. You're contract is with the mum and would start at a set time.

**sarah707** · 01-09-2016, 06:10 PM

I follow my own routine that works for me and the little ones - remembering the Eyfs says little ones are the most important and must come first.

If parents ask for different things that's fine as long as they fit around me

**blue bear** · 04-09-2016, 12:23 PM

I think you need to spin this around, the collecting parent isn't doing you a favour you are doing the child's parent a favour being flexible and allowing someone else to drop off.
I'd carry on as normal and child too be dropped to me where ever I am, so home or park, if I was running late I'd text the lady collecting the child and suggest she come to school to drop off on the odd occasion. I'd give it a trial and see how it goes on the understanding I could give immediate notice if not working for me.

**Kiddleywinks** · 05-09-2016, 07:34 AM

Personally, I would not be arranging anything with a third party
I'd let mum know the approximate time you will be back home and add another 10/15 mins (if your schoolies are anything
like mine, they can take ages to get out of the classroom!) so 'If you can let xx know that I should be back between X & Y' that way, the arrangement is theirs, not yours.

As others have said, what starts out nice and cordial can turn on its head very quickly once other factors start coming into the mix....
Bad weather
Medical appts
After school clubs
Illness
Vehicle problems
Play dates for the third party child

Good luck

**bunyip** · 05-09-2016, 10:01 AM

I agree with previous replies. Kiddleywinks just posted what I was about to add.

Fix the time you can be pretty sure of being home; put that in the contract, then it's up to mum how the child gets to you. If you start making arrangements with mum's friend, then you can be sure you will be the one "at fault" if anything goes wrong: not because you're wrong, but because mum's friend is her friend.

Remember there's another 'third party' in this scenario, in the shape of school. IME schools are a law unto themselves. They insist every child has to arrive on time, then play by their own rules when it comes to letting them out of class, let alone getting back from trips. At times I've waited 20 minutes for a child to come out of class, and school trips that arrive over an hour late. Bear in mind, none of that will be your new client's fault and she is well within her rights to claim that's your problem, not hers. I suggest you ask your insurer/legal team about this. It may be classed (legally) as "frustration", but I suspect you may be introducing a conflict of interests in taking on this child, so it may be your fault (and hence a breach of contract) if you are held up by school, even thought that's outside your control if/when it happens.

You need agreements and systems in place to ensure the child arrives with everything they should: eg. any inhaler or long-term medication - and what happens if they don't bring them. Make sure you're not going to be blamed every time the child leaves a coat at school or mum's friend loses something before they get to you.

This could work, but it will require a good deal of flexibility and goodwill from all parties. Otherwise, I suspect it could collapse all too easily.

I have the nagging question, "why"? Why does the mum want you to do this job? Without meaning to be rude: does she have no other option? are you cheaper than the other options? is she impressed with your service? has mum fallen out with the CMs who serve her child's school? does she think you're a soft touch?

I ask because I feel mum's reasons will be a factor on how well or for how long the arrangement might work.

**Bluebell** · 07-09-2016, 12:42 PM

yes it is the 'no other option' route no after school provision at primary, the childminder in the village just gave up, huge shortage of childminders in area - she was lucky to get me only because I am starting back up after a break - so the younger sibling comes in the day and it makes sense for the older one to come too.

I've left it to the Mum to arrange - it is already a suck it and see arrangement - which means if its not working for me or for her then we'll reassess. I have a felling it will be a sort of it will work well for one of us but maybe not the other lol!! she is aware I'm doing her a favour - the lady already can't do one day so that day will be a taxi. i thought the lady was coming this way anyway but is driving into town to drop him and then going back to the village where she lives so i can't see it being long term!!!

she wasn't very keen to do a taxi and when this other mum offered to drive the child the mum was relieved. I said first week would be at home - the child is familiar here as has been for a couple of visits so should be better for him to be dropped off here rather than somewhere strange and then having to walk. As it turned out she left his car seat and with his bags as well there was no way i could have managed all of that!

I walked quite quickly home and beat them here - we take our time on the way up to school. I think the idea of meeting at the park is a good idea but have another couple of mums that pick up after school time when they have collected siblings and a teacher who tries to get away at the end of the school day quite promptly to collect so need to be home fairly promptly anyway!

Thank you for all the advice - lots of things to consider but definitely intend to do it on my terms this time!

**Bluebell** · 25-09-2016, 10:35 AM

just a little update - so far so good - I've stuck with walking to my home rather than meeting somewhere else - I do have to be quite quick to get home but if the lady is waiting for me when I get there then so far she hasn't minded and has said it hasn't been for long. I really don't think I need to consider this my problem - as you have given me most brilliant advice - the lift home isn't anything to do with me - I say thank you or I hope you weren't waiting long but don't want to get into texting to arrange to meet elsewhere - as you say the arrangement is not with me it is with the parent. I have other parents picking up after school so they are the same - arriving as I get back or waiting for me and I don't feel guilty about that so I don't think I need to worry about the timing for the lift in / drop off.

Most days I just beat them or they drive in as I arrive.
The little boy is a delight (as is his sister) so that always makes it easier to want to be accommodating!

Thanks once again for all your advice

**Mouse** · 25-09-2016, 10:40 AM

Glad to hear it's working out well for you.

**Maza** · 25-09-2016, 02:21 PM

Are you enjoying minding again after your time away?

**Bluebell** · 25-09-2016, 03:38 PM

yes - and no - I love the cuddles and play and smiles and so on but getting back into routines has been weird. I have littlies and all starting with me at the same time so getting used to nap routines and comforting ones that are still settling, forgot how much work it is feeding and cleaning up after meals and so on. Trying to get out the door. Need to start being organised with learning journeys and so on too but was so dedicated and spent so much time on it last time that I don't want to fall into the same routine of it consuming all my spare time ans just doing far too much lol!

**loocyloo** · 25-09-2016, 04:18 PM

Originally Posted by Bluebell

yes - and no - I love the cuddles and play and smiles and so on but getting back into routines has been weird. I have littlies and all starting with me at the same time so getting used to nap routines and comforting ones that are still settling, forgot how much work it is feeding and cleaning up after meals and so on. Trying to get out the door. Need to start being organised with learning journeys and so on too but was so dedicated and spent so much time on it last time that I don't want to fall into the same routine of it consuming all my spare time ans just doing far too much lol!

glad you are enjoying it ( mostly! )

thing I try to do is NOT to keep taking photos, and then I'm not tempted to do 100's of obs! I use 2simple, and do find them quite quick to do online and then each month I print them out and staple them into child's scrapbook! I also email them to parents each month, and then copy and print out any comments for scrapbooks ( LJs )

**mumofone** · 25-09-2016, 07:19 PM

Originally Posted by loocyloo

glad you are enjoying it ( mostly! )

thing I try to do is NOT to keep taking photos, and then I'm not tempted to do 100's of obs! I use 2simple, and do find them quite quick to do online and then each month I print them out and staple them into child's scrapbook! I also email them to parents each month, and then copy and print out any comments for scrapbooks ( LJs )

loocyloo can i ask what 2simple is? Is this an online learning journey app? Does it cost? Currently searching for a new one.....:-)

**loocyloo** · 26-09-2016, 06:56 AM

Originally Posted by mumofone

loocyloo can i ask what 2simple is? Is this an online learning journey app? Does it cost? Currently searching for a new one.....:-)

2simple is an online obs service. I 'think' you can email/ring and ask for a free trial as a childminder. you can get it as an app for phone/tablet, and then access it on the pc. purely for compiling observations. they don't offer anything else such as invoices etc. I 'think' it costs £35/year for a childminder. I really like it, and the support staff are great! when it started there was a free app, which I used for about 6 months, but the paid for system is better, as you can keep all the obs for each child, and be able to see what areas/age/stage they have covered, or as a group or anyway which way you want to look at it! you can email a link to parents, and they can read/comment, and now, they can add photos themselves.

**mumofone** · 26-09-2016, 06:48 PM

Originally Posted by loocyloo

2simple is an online obs service. I 'think' you can email/ring and ask for a free trial as a childminder. you can get it as an app for phone/tablet, and then access it on the pc. purely for compiling observations. they don't offer anything else such as invoices etc. I 'think' it costs £35/year for a childminder. I really like it, and the support staff are great! when it started there was a free app, which I used for about 6 months, but the paid for system is better, as you can keep all the obs for each child, and be able to see what areas/age/stage they have covered, or as a group or anyway which way you want to look at it! you can email a link to parents, and they can read/comment, and now, they can add photos themselves.

thanks loocyloo ill look int it - thank you