Something weird going on with parent??

[**Orchard CM**]

Hi all, So I have a bit of a issue at the moment. I have two parents. Dad is totally unrealistic about his child and mum is more honest about the child's behaviour etc. They have a bill this month and no paid anything yet and received a txt saying her hours have changed. She owes £600 and I would bet now that the bill will probably be about £100 after she's changed her hours. I don't think they can afford childcare and they are messing me about quite honestly. I haven't replied back to the txt yet as I don't know what to say... The child is totally spoilt and there is some issues about me not making special exceptions for the child. Even after explaining that I have other children in my care. I'm getting to the point where I just want to end the contract as I get so stressed about comments dad makes. He makes me feel like I'm something on his shoe and like I don't have a clue what I'm doing. I'm ashamed to say it but if I see the child booked in, I sometimes dread the day. Any thoughts would be great. How do I go about ending a contract and what would anyone reply to the txt saying???!!!! I'm really not sure Thanks

[Maza]

Is this £600 for childcare that you have already done? Or does she pay you in advance?

[tulip0803]

What does your contract with the parent say? Mine say 4 weeks notice to end contract. If they have contracted hours and wish to change them they have to end one contract and start another so 4 weeks notice for any changes which means that any changes will take affect in 4 weeks and I am within my rights to charge the original contract for 4 weeks. I would reply thank you as per terms of contract I will need you to come in and sign a new contract for the reduced hours and as there is 4 weeks notice on the original contract the new contract terms will take affect 4 weeks after signing so original invoice is still due.

If you want to end the contract then you have to give 4 weeks written notice on original contract terms/fees, you do not have to give a reason - "change in circumstances" is fine, unless you can come to arrangement with the parent to end earlier

Good luck xx you need to do what is best for you x

[sarah707]

Thank you for informing me about the change of hours - I will note that in my diary to start next month (4 weeks notice of changes - please see contract).

However, I am not sure the new hours suit me. I will come back to you when I have checked my ratios during working hours.

Thank you ... something like that? xx

[bunyip]

Hi all, So I have a bit of a issue at the moment. I have two parents. Dad is totally unrealistic about his child and mum is more honest about the child's behaviour etc. They have a bill this month and no paid anything yet and received a txt saying her hours have changed. She owes £600 and I would bet now that the bill will probably be about £100 after she's changed her hours. I don't think they can afford childcare and they are messing me about quite honestly. I haven't replied back to the txt yet as I don't know what to say... The child is totally spoilt and there is some issues about me not making special exceptions for the child. Even after explaining that I have other children in my care. I'm getting to the point where I just want to end the contract as I get so stressed about comments dad makes. He makes me feel like I'm something on his shoe and like I don't have a clue what I'm doing. I'm ashamed to say it but if I see the child booked in, I sometimes dread the day. Any thoughts would be great. How do I go about ending a contract and what would anyone reply to the txt saying???!!!! I'm really not sure Thanks

Excellent answers there from Tulip and Sarah: I agree.

If they're having money troubles, they still have to stick to the contract, but be aware that it may mean they get into arrears temporarily and you might need to negotiate some way of them clearing the arrears over time. Check with your insurer/legal representative.

About Dad's comments. You can deal with this by giving notice. Another way is to confront it head on. Most people avoid "confrontation" because it's seen as a wholly negative/aggressive word, when it really just means the opposite of "running away from a problem."

Personally, I'd say something like, "some of your comments seem to indicate you're not happy with aspects of my service. Could you please explain what you mean, so I can take time to reflect on how I do things?" This does not mean you're admitting any failings, but the very fact you want to listen will put Dad on the spot and probably on the back foot. It means you're not prepared to let him get away with unjustified/unsubstantiated remarks, and there's a better than even chance he'll be quite taken aback that you've challenged him (in a non-aggressive manner.)

For the sake of balance, remember most of us make some unfair comments at some time about businesses/people who provide us with a service.

And don't forget the Eleanor Roosevelt quote (better known from Princess Diaries ) "Noone can make you feel inferior without your consent."

[**Orchard CM**]

Thanks ladies, lots of really useful bits I'll elaborate a bit more.. They are on an ad hoc contract as mum works shifts however she knows her hours monthly and once she has given them to me there is no kind of going back? £175 of that £600 is arrears and then the £400 odd is this month in advance. I've received nothing though at all as they have moved and she needed money for that. There's only so much bull one can believe though!!!! I left childcare settings as I was bullied and went home ranting and stressed yet I'm doing exactly the same now and it's my own business, I hold the cards so to say. Hubby thinks life is too short and to knock it on the head. In all fairness I think he is right! The Eleanor Roosevelt thing is amazing!! Very empowering - if that's the word??!! I've txt mum and got no reply about hours, she could be at work but then again she knows she will have to speak to me. The child is in tomorrow so I should get some money. This is the exact txt Hey yeh its Xxxx my phone has broken, my rota has been recalled and it totally different now, I'm fuming and really sorry... Id it something u can do or cant I change it no worries if not I will tell the manager ad its bang out of order anyway xx However that same number rang me last Tuesday twice. Also the last time I txt her on her number was Wednesday?? Things aren't adding up here... I love the idea about confronting dad, don't know what he would say back but if I'm calm there is no reason for him to rant and rave is there? I wouldn't put it past him though. I'm thinking they should pay the £600, put it in a letter and then in the same letter give them notice?? The child would go in a year anyway as they live in a different area and the child would start nursery at school and I cannot drop off/collect from their area. Not like like I've got 4 years worth of income. I know you probably shouldn't look at children like that but sometimes you have to weigh up the options?? Also mum has been sterilised so no more babies from her! I'm trying to talk myself into giving them notice lol!!

Thankyou so much I've never had to do anything like this before. The child is one of my biggest earners but I'm not bothered about missing the money I have two full timers starting one 7 months and one 10 months and they are local so even at nursery I'll drop off and collect etc. That will more than make up for it, and they are first babies, so maybe more to come!!

I love the kids and my job. When this certain child is in I hate it. The other kids are disrupted by the constant screaming etc. I'm dreading tomorrow just whilst I'm typing this!!! Sorry for the long post

[samb]

It sounds like whatever happens you are probably best to give notice if it makes you feel this bad just thinking about having the child in. But what will you do about the 4 weeks notice period (if that's what you have in contracts)? Can you accommodate the change in hours? If it was me and I could do the different hours for the final 4 weeks of the contract I would say I can but I would expect them to meet me half way in terms of payment and say I'm willing to drop to that as a good will gesture. As in original invoice minus the amount in arrears minus what you will actually work in the 4 weeks and then half it and take that much off the invoice- I wouldn't drop lower as its short notice to change the hours.

However you have also said you're having 2 under 1s full time and they're first born children so not siblings of current children? If you work alone this means you would be over ratio as we can only have 1 under 1?