Day off

[Snowwhite]

Since last July i found myself without minded kids on a Friday, due to them leaving for school and also not being needed during part of the summer hols. I just had my 8 year old daughter, and since then i have tried my best to keep it my "day off" as i realised how much i can do in that day, especially when my daughter is at school. Things such as paperwork, chores, appointments (especially if you need to attend an appt.without children or they aren't open on a weekend, and lately the Fridays have been great for several appt's) I also drive my daughter to an activity that she really likes and we need to leave our house at 4.35 for it. Also nice to spend time with her on that day if i was needed to work other days during a school hol.

The other thing is that my husband is self employed so it has been known in the past (but definitely not often)for us all to go away for a long weekend once school has finished .

My point is at the mo i cherish that day off and as long as i continue to work Mon-Thurs then financially i should be ok. I have started to have enquiries for this Sept and a parent contacted me as i was recommended to her. Two of the days she's asked for i can do, but the other day is a Friday! I have asked if there's flexibility to swap a Friday but the parent has tried & there isn't any. She seems a bit gutted i'm unavailable and said she'd rather go with someone who is recommended. I feel guilty turning down work just cause of my day off, but at the same time i love that day off! The Friday would be her son during the whole day & her other son after school.
Mum seems a nice person aswell and only wants term time only. Different local school to my daughter and i would be cutting it fine with the timings from getting from one school to another. Am i being stupid turning it down just cause of a day off?

[Mouse]

No you are not being stupid to want to keep your day off. I have a Friday off and will only work it for current parents who desperately need a Friday as a rare one-off. Even then there's no guarantee I'll do it if I've already made other plans.

You say you feel guilty for not helping this mum. Do you think she feels any guilt about asking you to give up your day off and lose out on precious family time? Do you think your daughter would be happy to give up what is basically her day off from childminding in the house?

If I have a parent enquire for a Friday I just say, no sorry, I'm closed on a Friday. If they still want to come to me that's fine, but it can only be Mon-Thursday. Put yourself and your family first. This mum might want someone who's been recommended, but if that person can't offer her the days she needs it's tough. She's just going to have to take her chances with someone else

[Snowwhite]

Thanks Mouse. Good to hear your opinion seeing as you also have a Friday off. I have suggested that she could see if anyone else can do the Friday and i cover the other 2 days, but i think she's keen to find someone for all 3 days.

Perhaps from now on i should say i'm closed on a Friday, rather than it's my day off. If there came a time when i was desperate for work as not enough on the other days then i would work a Friday and then eventually see if it could become my "closed" day again! I was a little worried with the timings of the school run from one to another, so perhaps it's all worked out for the best.

[Maza]

Exactly as Mouse said - don't feel guilty, because the mum won't be feeling guilty. There are lots of families out there who use two childminders, or a childminder and a nursery or grandparent - you do what you have to do. A day off protects your sanity. Are you particular about which day off you have? I wasn't fussed as long as I got it and changed the day several times over the years depending on what clients I got. Yes, Friday is a nice one to have off, especially if you have occasional days off. x

[Snowwhite]

Thanks Maza. Up until last summer i always worked Mon-Fri but the Fri for a while had become quieter as i was having more enquiries back then for the other days, so once i became minded child free on the Fridays last July/Aug due to them leaving for school then i decided i rather liked the idea of having the Fridays off.(A nice day aswell seeing as it's the end of the week!) It wasn't a case of me giving notice to any parents and i currently work Mon-Thurs but since last summer i have realised how useful that day off can be & i have been childminding for almost 9 yrs now & before that i worked in nurseries full time, so yes i think that one day is now stopping me from going crazy & giving myself & my family a break from other peoples children.

[watford wizz]

Don't feel guilty we are human beings not human doings. It's not a "day off" as it's clearly filled to the brim. Love yourself enough to support yourself and work in the way you need to at this time. Xxx

[Snowwhite]

Thanks. Yes i guess your right as i'm not just sitting back chillin out on the Fridays, (apart from when i'm eating lunch & catching up on a hours programme that i've recorded!) think it may sound a bit better if i say i'm closed on a Fri rather than it's my day off, as that way parents can't assume that i'm just sat on my backside doing nothing! X

[loocyloo]

I don't work Mondays but I always say I'm unavailable/don't have availability, rather than I 'don't work' mondays.

I have occasionally had a current minded child on a Monday but my parents don't ask unless absolutely stuck and I only do it if I can! Like you say, a day off to go to drs etc on your own is great! And in the holidays, it's my day with just my children!

Stay strong. xxx

[mumofone]

Lovely replies and I agree with everyone's comments :-)

[chris goodyear]

I think you already know what you are going to do. Sometimes we want to help the parents so much (cos that's the sort of people we are) that we do make regretful decisions. Regarding the school run I guess you would collect the mindee first so then maybe be late for you own daughter? She probably wouldn't be happy with that especially as at the moment Friday is her and mummy day. One of my sons wasn't happy with me childminding as he had known life before it but then my other 3 children were fine so I suppose it depends on each individual. My friends daughter often tells her off when she gets in a pickle with trying to help everyone and she says to her mum ' as much as you all like and respect each other and when you have their children you're the greatest thing since sliced bread' they wouldn't hesitate to give notice if their circumstances change - and she is right. Saying that I have had some mums in tears when they have to leave for whatever unforeseen happening!

[Snowwhite]

Yes the mindee would come out of school before my daughter as there's a 10 minute time difference with the schools, however i know that the mindees school does not always finish quite on time which would then have a knock on effect as i would prob get a bit stressed trying to get them to my daughters school on time as the issues of slight traffic and parking could play a big part, and i know i couldn't walk it in time.

Thankfully my daughter is used to other children being at our home as i've been doing the job since she was a baby,but at times she does like to scatter her own toys around & likes the fact that on a Thurs eve she doesn't have to pack them away to put back up into her "small bedroom"!
You've all been a big help in responding to my post, and yes i think at times i know the right answer but it's just good to hear what other CM's opinion is. Thanks. x

[BallyH]

I don't work Fridays. I love having the day to myself. I use it to do 'everything' that will then make my family weekend run more smoothly. I often get enquiries about Friday care, but I just say 'I don't work that day'. My 'full' time (attend 4 days) early years children who I have at the moment all attend a local preschool on Friday's and I do think they would have naturally left me one day to go to the preschool as they are in their last year before starting school, all funded so Friday's it is. I do think in the future, when the 30 hours funding comes in, we will be sharing children with 2 or maybe more settings as parents try to 'get' their free entitlement.