Tantrums with reins and straps!
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  1. #1
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    Default Tantrums with reins and straps!

    Hi all, I'm after a little advice really- has anyone had experience of a 2 year old who seriously and continuously objects to wearing reins or a wrist strap?
    I have a lovely 2yr old mindee who just cries and cries whenever I put them on him, and does the same over holding hands when walking- he wants to be independent, and can't accept that I insist on him keeping safe in this way! So when he invariably makes a fuss, I put him in the buggy, explaining why etc (same as I always explain why we need to hold hands or wear a strap), and then he cries and cries in the buggy, because he wants to walk! All very typical of a 2yo exerting themselves I know, but I've got to be honest, as well as it being upsetting for him, having an extremely upset child through town is not exactly good for business (if that's not too callous! He's a very happy chappy the rest of the time!)! So would you all continue to explain it to him, and let him walk with reins/holding hands but crying, or put him in the buggy still crying, or let him walk next to you without holding hands or reins/strap (he is actually quite safety conscious and stays put well, which is why his family don't use reins, especially as their only walks with him are nice winter walks in the woods etc where you don't need reins)?
    I've tried plain vs snazzy bright wrist straps, and plain vs funky backpack-style reins, but as soon as he realises what they are he gets mega upset. This has been the situation since I've had him (started 5months ago), so he usually stays in the buggy, but I'd love him to walk more, as he enjoys it and it's better for my back!
    I can't really decide if I'm being stubborn and bull-headed by insisting (he only actually walks when we have one on one time, so I can watch him properly, BUT there may be times when I have more kids and am watching them too), or if I'm being too soft by even considering the idea of letting a 2yr old win this "battle of wills"!

    What do you guys think, and how have you dealt with this?

    Many thanks xx

  2. #2
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    I find they walk well holding onto a strap attached to buggy handle so either reins looped on or a buggy tug, they have the independence of not being restrained but if they dont keep holding on go in the buggy.
    My own 2.5 year old walked perfectly like this for a few months but sadly has recently started up with tantruming again, so is more often than not put in buggy screaming!
    I know what you mean about the advert for your business, I have to collect from school and on many occasions he's been either lying in a screaming heap on the floor, sometimes in a puddle so sopping wet, or flailing around in the buggy...I'm quite good at ignoring it and hope most of the parents realise it's (hppefully!) a phase that will pass quicker if I dont panda to him! There are times ive stood there with my head held high, angel mindees at my sides and screaming banshee toddler hanging from my legs, inside wishing the ground would swallow me up!

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by alex__17 View Post
    I find they walk well holding onto a strap attached to buggy handle so either reins looped on or a buggy tug, they have the independence of not being restrained but if they dont keep holding on go in the buggy.
    My own 2.5 year old walked perfectly like this for a few months but sadly has recently started up with tantruming again, so is more often than not put in buggy screaming!
    I know what you mean about the advert for your business, I have to collect from school and on many occasions he's been either lying in a screaming heap on the floor, sometimes in a puddle so sopping wet, or flailing around in the buggy...I'm quite good at ignoring it and hope most of the parents realise it's (hppefully!) a phase that will pass quicker if I dont panda to him! There are times ive stood there with my head held high, angel mindees at my sides and screaming banshee toddler hanging from my legs, inside wishing the ground would swallow me up!
    Oh Alex that made me smile, I'm glad it's not just me! I must admit, I got a few sympathetic smiles from passers-by who seemed to understand! I did give LO the option of holding the "runaway" strap that's already attached to my Phil and Ted's, but that was met with a refusal too!

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    Can you put the harness on without the reins attached? And let LO play/eat everything with the harness on.

    Then hopefully LO gets used to the harness, you can add reins.

    I use reins for my LOs. No reins, no walking! Only exception is when we are out in the woods.

    Good luck x

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    We use reins if little ones want to walk - full stop - it's about their safety.

    Parents could do with supporting you at home. Hugs xx

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    I had this when my 2 year old started wanting to walk everywhere. He's a runner so I needed to keep him safe and the only way was the reins. What worked for him (eventually) was a treat of some kind after he had walked nicely. I would show him the treat and say that if he walked nicely he could have it when we got to school and another when he walked nicely back home again. Mum was totally on board with this and he now accepts the reins without a fuss and no treat needed

    I used a variety of things - I had a cheap pack of matchbox cars and he had one every time to play with at mine (not to take home) and sometimes it was a smartie or small biscuit. Another thing that worked is that he was allowed to carry 2 cars to school and back - a lightening McQueen and a Sally because they were his favourites

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  9. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by funemnx View Post
    I had this when my 2 year old started wanting to walk everywhere. He's a runner so I needed to keep him safe and the only way was the reins. What worked for him (eventually) was a treat of some kind after he had walked nicely. I would show him the treat and say that if he walked nicely he could have it when we got to school and another when he walked nicely back home again. Mum was totally on board with this and he now accepts the reins without a fuss and no treat needed

    I used a variety of things - I had a cheap pack of matchbox cars and he had one every time to play with at mine (not to take home) and sometimes it was a smartie or small biscuit. Another thing that worked is that he was allowed to carry 2 cars to school and back - a lightening McQueen and a Sally because they were his favourites
    Ooh the carrying thing is a good idea! At this LO's stage of development he needs an immediate reward (he's only just turned2), so that would be nice and easy for him to understand. Thanks

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    Have a look at koolkangaroos.co.uk fantastic product. I use the triplet version. Lets the child feel as though they have independence but they dnt really x

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    Quote Originally Posted by kittyrainbow View Post
    Have a look at koolkangaroos.co.uk fantastic product. I use the triplet version. Lets the child feel as though they have independence but they dnt really x
    Thanks, I'll have a look!

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    I would stick with the walking = reins rule.
    If he's not going to put them on then he goes in the pushchair. Safety must come first. I have a 2.5yr old who loves walking so ask him every morning if he wants to walk or go in the pushchair. He always opts to walk but knows he must wear the reins.
    It just the routine we have. Stick with it and hopefully he will start to understand that if he wants to walk it must be on your terms, not his.
    Time Out.. The perfect time for thinking about what you're going to destroy next.

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  14. #11
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    Thanks, it worked last week, he put the wrist strap on without any fuss at all- although I'm well aware that this might not last!
    My big concern (and yes it's very premature, but I'm a born worrier!) is that I'll still be having this problem when he's at a size where I don't particularly want him to be in the buggy, and I actually want him to walk! Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself though!

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    I've been very lucky that mine hold on to the straps on the buggy (Phil & Ted) I added an extra runaway strap so they've each got one to hold. If I take the smaller stroller, they hold onto the frame. Whatever other people do though its up to you and your rules when out and about. I personally wouldn't worry what other people think. If they're brave enough to comment I'd happily explain that while I have a screaming child in a buggy, its a safe screaming child.

 

 

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