Computers and games

[ja-lula-belli]

Hi all just after a little advise please.
I have just taken on a 9 year old mindee lovely boy but all he ever wants to do is play on the computer and it wii games, I pad etc
Now mum has said that's ok as it's what he likes to do.
I feel he should be doing other things, I keep trying to encourage him to do other things and play with my own boy aged 8 but he sort of huphs and puffs "there's nothing to do here" " all I want is to play games" " it's boring"
Is it ok for him to just be on these games ?
He is in school all day of course and it's still really new to him being here so I'm hoping as we all get to know each other it may start changing.
Also he plays these games that are quite gruesome, like heads and limbs falling off. Again mum lets him play them. Can I say he can't in my house?

[Kerry30]

I really cant understand why a child wants to play such gruesome violent computer games, or why the parents let them but each to their own.
I always say whatever they watch on tv or play on the wii has to be suitable for the youngest child in my care, so if that means they have to watch Peppa pig instead of Scooby doo (as an example), then so be it.

[ja-lula-belli]

To be honest that's my thought too. It's not a great game and I feel really uncomfortable when he plays it. And my son yesterday asked if he could go on the game whist at his nans so I am putting a stop to it.
Yes your right it has to be suitable. I have that rule on my TV too, my oldest son loves the Simpsons but while I'm minding he knows that he can not watch it so he settles for bananas in pyjamas (bless him)
So I'm ok to say not those games??
I know it's my house my rules kinda thing but I know he's allowed at home. Maybe I I have a word with mum to explain to him not at my house?

[shortstuff]

Have you checked the case the game is in? They usually have an age limit on there. That might help you explain to mum why lo cant play it at your house.

[kellib]

I really cant understand why a child wants to play such gruesome violent computer games, or why the parents let them but each to their own. I always say whatever they watch on tv or play on the wii has to be suitable for the youngest child in my care, so if that means they have to watch Peppa pig instead of Scooby doo (as an example), then so be it.

That's what I say too, my 9 year old loves the Simpsons right now but he knows he's not allowed to watch it when the LO's are around. He watches Sofia the First with them instead as he secretly loves it lol!

[ja-lula-belli]

Have you checked the case the game is in? They usually have an age limit on there. That might help you explain to mum why lo cant play it at your house.

It's a game on the internet. I will investigate it though now. Give it a little google and see.
I'm not sure if I am over reacting ,
It's basically a game where you are a person falling down places and you can get impailed And arms torn off and head blown off and your body can explode. With cartoon blood flying everywhere.

[ja-lula-belli]

It's called happy wheels
Just googled it and it has no age limit

[ja-lula-belli]

I've just decided no laptop! I can't watch what he's doing in it. Of course I have adult protection etc but not these games. Finished with the story no lap to accessible anymore! Lol

[natlou82]

I have a TV and Video games policy which outlines my rules which include time limits and that I will only allow age appropriate games and TV (usually something I have recorded from cbbc) . Like you say your house, your rules - thumbs up 😀

[FloraDora]

My policy is no tv or games. A bit old fashioned I know but isn't an issue to anyone. The TV is rarely on in my house anyway so it isn't automatic for me to offer it.
I think games are fine at home but because I would not be able to supervise a child at the computer all the time if we are baking or playing a game etc...I would not give the option. Coming to me is an opportunity to do activities of their choice usually as they plan what they do, activities that they don't do very much at home. Baking,art, science water play and electronics, building epic lego masterpieces, going for walks around our next door nature reserve, kicking a football on the field, digging in the garden and more recently playing with torches in the dark are their favourite activities, when we get back home from the field or lake they love to listen to me read stories, we have a long one on the go that they choose. An older child yesterday spent 20 mins reading stories to a LO.

I read an article in the independent today about the technological world our children live in now and how we should embrace it, which I agree with but there's no harm either in being exposed to play alongside it.

[AliceK]

My policy is no tv or games. A bit old fashioned I know but isn't an issue to anyone. The TV is rarely on in my house anyway so it isn't automatic for me to offer it.
I think games are fine at home but because I would not be able to supervise a child at the computer all the time if we are baking or playing a game etc...I would not give the option. Coming to me is an opportunity to do activities of their choice usually as they plan what they do, activities that they don't do very much at home. Baking,art, science water play and electronics, building epic lego masterpieces, going for walks around our next door nature reserve, kicking a football on the field, digging in the garden and more recently playing with torches in the dark are their favourite activities, when we get back home from the field or lake they love to listen to me read stories, we have a long one on the go that they choose. An older child yesterday spent 20 mins reading stories to a LO.

I read an article in the independent today about the technological world our children live in now and how we should embrace it, which I agree with but there's no harm either in being exposed to play alongside it.

I'm the same. I do not offer access to TV or Computer here. The children come here to "play" and do activities etc not to sit around on a computer or watch TV. They have plenty of time to do that at home and I think it is beneficial for them to spend a short time when away from home doing other stuff, using their minds and imagination. Many parents have commented on how much they like the fact that there is no TV in my childminding areas.

xxx

[Kerry30]

To be honest that's my thought too. It's not a great game and I feel really uncomfortable when he plays it. And my son yesterday asked if he could go on the game whist at his nans so I am putting a stop to it.
Yes your right it has to be suitable. I have that rule on my TV too, my oldest son loves the Simpsons but while I'm minding he knows that he can not watch it so he settles for bananas in pyjamas (bless him)
So I'm ok to say not those games??
I know it's my house my rules kinda thing but I know he's allowed at home. Maybe I I have a word with mum to explain to him not at my house?

Your house Your rules. Just say No. He has to learn to respect that you have different rules.
I dont have the tv on during the day. Its normally my dd that puts it on about 5ish. I do find my after schoolers get tired and just want to do nothing some days. They have been at school all day after all. And more so at this time of year. I used to have 2 brothers after school and some days all they did was roll around on the floor and fight each other, other days they would do crafts, but sometimes i wasted my time doing an activity when clearly they werent interested.
Junior Monopoly is a game ive found that gets boys interested!

[jackie 7]

I am lucky as I usually have only eraly years. a few times I have had a neighbours child or another family, both demand tv. I say no and they are shocked. I say the little ones need to play not watch tv.I disliked the games the boy I nannied was allowed to play, most way over his age, Your home your rules.

[ja-lula-belli]

Thank you all. Today I laid down the law! Lol I just said I don't feel those games are age appropriate for all the other children including my own son. Also I feel not for him too but that's not up to me. Plus I have taken the lap too away so now. I have learned from this so now he can only play the games I know I have which are age appropriate .

[Kiddleywinks]

I understand your pain, especially with older children.
Does anyone else find they have to wean them off a lot of electronic single player/minded focused rubbish that 9/10 times is not suitable for their age and parents are apparently oblivious to the fact that they even have access to it - well not here they don't!
Sounds like he needs 'de programming' and to learn how to use his imagination again

I don't allow their own mobiles, iPads, tablets etc, nor do I allow internet access on my kindles - parental controlled to the hilt lol

I do allow TV, for the after schoolers mostly, but not every day, and the last 2-3 weeks, we've not had it on at all due to doing lots of seasonal crafts/activities instead.

I also allow the wii, but only if at least 2 people want to play, and I have been known to play (and win of course lol) too.
We set goals and challenges and if enough play, we do teams so everyone gets a go and can cheer on their team members, although this tends to come out more during school holidays than during term time - especially on rainy afternoons.

Have some easy crafty things to do - Hama beads are a good one as you can print off design pages for any interest,
Access to reading stuff - children's encyclopaedias are a big hit here too
Colouring stuff readily available, again, print off things to colour - dinosaurs seem to be the thing here for the boys, and space, with frozen (predictably) another.
Has he ever done bark or coin rubbings?
Lego is another favourite for all ages, including my 17yr old DD lol
Invite him to take his pick, does he have a particular interest in anything (other than the obvious lol)? Does he even know what he likes?!

[ja-lula-belli]

I understand your pain, especially with older children. Does anyone else find they have to wean them off a lot of electronic single player/minded focused rubbish that 9/10 times is not suitable for their age and parents are apparently oblivious to the fact that they even have access to it - well not here they don't! Sounds like he needs 'de programming' and to learn how to use his imagination again I don't allow their own mobiles, iPads, tablets etc, nor do I allow internet access on my kindles - parental controlled to the hilt lol I do allow TV, for the after schoolers mostly, but not every day, and the last 2-3 weeks, we've not had it on at all due to doing lots of seasonal crafts/activities instead. I also allow the wii, but only if at least 2 people want to play, and I have been known to play (and win of course lol) too. We set goals and challenges and if enough play, we do teams so everyone gets a go and can cheer on their team members, although this tends to come out more during school holidays than during term time - especially on rainy afternoons. Have some easy crafty things to do - Hama beads are a good one as you can print off design pages for any interest, Access to reading stuff - children's encyclopaedias are a big hit here too Colouring stuff readily available, again, print off things to colour - dinosaurs seem to be the thing here for the boys, and space, with frozen (predictably) another. Has he ever done bark or coin rubbings? Lego is another favourite for all ages, including my 17yr old DD lol Invite him to take his pick, does he have a particular interest in anything (other than the obvious lol)? Does he even know what he likes?!

Thank you for your reply. Actually today I told it to him straight. As when I try and limit his usage of electronics he sort of huphs And puffs , not rude but a bored way. So I said what was available, I have soooo much resources including my own son and his toys. He just laid on my sofa doing nothing so I said he's going to have to come up with something as he has a long wait for his mum to pick him up. Also if he feels that Bored here maybe it's something I may need to talk to his mum about (maybe not the right setting for him) he was shocked ! And he instantly changed and started interacting with my children.
He might be testing to see what he can do or get away with.
But my own children very rarely gets to go on things so I can't just suddenly allow him to.
I am not against electronics by any means I live for my iPhone but I think children should use there own imagination and be active. Computers etc are great but not all the time.

[JCrakers]

I must admit that in the winter/rainy months the school children do sit and watch a DVD/Wii and recently one mindee who is 9yrs brings his ipad to play on. We get in from school around 3.45pm, they can use the lounge to talk, watch TV for half an hour. We then have tea at 4.15pm which is early but its only a light tea and everyone has supper at home. Then they can either play, watch TV or pay the wii. I'm pretty relaxed with what they choose. I don't have a huge amount of space and they are all boys so just want to run around and a lot of toys get broken.
So, instead of cutting down on children who would then have to go to the after school club where they don't want to go, i'm relaxed what they do with their time. They've been working hard at school, parents want a home environment where they can relax so that's what I offer.

In the summer/warmer months we spend most of the time outside as I have a park next to my house so no TV/Wii at all unless on the odd rainy day.

I do monitor age appropriate games and DVD's though so I wouldn't allow Happy Wheels. Both my own children have played it and its vile

[Simona]

Hi all just after a little advise please.
I have just taken on a 9 year old mindee lovely boy but all he ever wants to do is play on the computer and it wii games, I pad etc
Now mum has said that's ok as it's what he likes to do.
I feel he should be doing other things, I keep trying to encourage him to do other things and play with my own boy aged 8 but he sort of huphs and puffs "there's nothing to do here" " all I want is to play games" " it's boring"
Is it ok for him to just be on these games ?
He is in school all day of course and it's still really new to him being here so I'm hoping as we all get to know each other it may start changing.
Also he plays these games that are quite gruesome, like heads and limbs falling off. Again mum lets him play them. Can I say he can't in my house?

It will depend on what your H&Safety policy and use of computers say

You should discuss with parents what your practice is...the time you allow children on the computer...supervision...what type of games you do not allow and when children can play so you can keep an eye on them

Tv can be educational according to what children are allowed to watch...again a limited time can be specified...say after dinner or before

If a child says he/she is bored then I would ask what their interests are and see how best to provide those opportunities