Originally Posted by
AdeleMarie88
Hello all, this is a long post so please bear with me.
I have had a set of siblings start with me 2.5 weeks ago, 4yr old and a 2yr old. The 2yr old is very wild, she screams most the day, if she isn't screaming she is smacking other children or asking for CBeebies. The 4yr old is unlike any other child I've ever looked after. He flat out refuses to eat food that I cook, unless it's cake or chocolate, as he only eats food from his house. He is grey and very whiney. I also don't trust him, he is very obstinate, there have been no big instances, but he will deliberately do things that he has been asked not to do.
The parents. I can't figure out if they are plain too soft, and are way over their heads, and have now got to stage where children rule the roost. Or, that they are lazy and do anything for easy life. When parents first came round for a visit they were so interested, they asked lots of questions, what activities I did, daily routine, policies on sickness, tv, and so on. I liked them for this, because they came across as being very on the ball, and approachable. However it quickly unravelled, they didn't pay first invoice on time, and when I reminded them about it, they told me the fraud department had stopped payment and it would enter my bank account the following week, when I said I would be withholding care until funds had cleared, they suddenly appeared! The 4yr old has also being saying things like mommy doesn't cook, we have fish and chips every night and cake for breakfast. I thought this was a load of rubbish until Friday evening when he once again refused food (all he had eaten was half an apple in 8hrs) and I told mom,and she said "well you will be very hungry because I haven't prepared anything" and he said "well no but we can go to fish and chip shop on way home again"
It's also become apparent they don't sit down at a table for food (mom let this slip) and the children watch CBeebies all day, eating their meals in front of it (despite their insistence that they don't agree with tv).
I'm exceptionally concerned because there are a lot of issues to work on here. Behaviour of both children is worrying, I cannot take my eyes off them for a second for fear of another child being hurt, something being damaged, or them being hurt themselves. The 4yr old eats nothing, unless it's junk or prepared at his house. He is very very stubborn, and last week because I wouldn't buy him biscuits, he spent the journey home from park cycling into my ankles, I was bleeding!! The two yr old pulls hair, screams, has had a constant runny nose, has bags under her eyes, and cannot interact with anyone. Parents don't seem to care, I try to discuss food, tantrums, so on, and all they say is "it's not as bad as I thought it would be". They have also been caught out lying. How can I possibly work in partnership with them? In all my yrs of childcare I have never come across parents like it. If everything the 4yr old says is true, especially in regards to food at home, some would argue this is a case of serious neglect.
I'm not looking forward to this week, they are only part time, but I dread the days when they are in, everything is a battle. What should I do? It's only been 2.5weeks, should I continue to end of month and then re-evaluate, or should I insist on a meeting now? I honestly feel like the parents expect me to correct every bad habit, and think that now they have childcare sorted, it's no longer their issue to deal with. I don't know how I can work with them when it's clear they don't listen, and they lie, possibly out of shame, but lie nonetheless.
Arrggghhhhh help!!!!
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