What could it be

[specks4]

Hi all. I've got this child who is 19 months and I've had her for about 4 months now. The problem I have is she is scared of the other children, she screams and shakes when they go near her or touch her. I've tried to sit all of them together playing and interacting but she just screams really high pitch. I've tried playing passing games with a ball so she gets used to them but she just screeches. I've spoke to mum and asked if she is like that at home if they have visitors as she is only child but she isn't. The child is also funny about taking her coat off and when I do it she screams and will do her best to get it back..
What could be the problem?

[Mouse]

It sounds like separation anxiety. She doesn't want her coat taking off because that means she's staying. It's no criticism of you. She would be the same anywhere where she's not with her parents, hence the reason she is fine at home with them there.

It sounds as if you're trying everything you can to settle her, but it's obviously taking time. Rather than trying to get her to join in, I would let her sit out and watch what is going on, then hopefully she will join in when she feels comfortable to. It must be very daunting having to interact with other children when all you want is your mum. I would concentrate on getting her happy just being with you. Let her know that she's not going to be made to do stuff she doesn't want to. Give her a bit of control and you'll find her confidence grows.

If need be, let her sit out of the way on the sofa and tell the other children not to go near her. Give her some toys to play with, but let her stay there. This will become her 'safe place'. She will probably calm down when she knows she can keep to herself. After a while she should start to leave the sofa herself, but will go back to it regularly for reassurance. Hopefully you'll soon notice that she spends less time on the sofa & more time playing

[specks4]

Thanks mouse will give that a go.