Hejp needed for a mum

[jadavi]

I am very worried about social services turning a blind eye because they do not have funding to support an aggressive out of control 13 y o (whose sibling comes to my setting)
I am trying to support the single mum with advice and have been for a few years now.
The son has been excluded from a special school now due to his behaviour. The psychologist has said that he must not return home (after a brief spell at a foster carers) because he is a danger to the family and himself (climbs onto roof and threatens to jump off, lay down in the road at night and other dangerous behaviour) However the social services have said there is no money for continued foster care and she must work on her relationship with him as it is his fault he is so messed up (nb the other siblings are all lovely )
He is now back at home and she spends her whole time sitting between him and the other younger ones to protect them. Yesterday he attacked one of them. He has been reported to the police and arrested by them constantly but sent back to her each time. Yesterday he was arrested too but then sent back today.
I feel we are waiting for something awful to happen. She is not coping and it seems social services are ignoring it. (They told her last week it was normal 13 y o behaviour)
Is there anywhere I can advise her to appeal other than Soc services and police?

[jadavi]

Would it help if i lodged a safe guarding concern?

I am really amazed at social services not helping.
She just told me she found a knife in his room.

[jackie 7]

i would report it.

[jadavi]

The mum says it would just go on the list of all the police reports and be ignored again

[AliceK]

Do you have contact details of anybody specifically that you may have had safeguarding training with in social services / LSCB with whom you could call. I don't think this can be ignored and I can't believe SS are doing nothing. It's extremely worrying.

xx

[jadavi]

Thanks Alice

I don't really have anyone that springs to mind other than my local LADO
I have done a report before saying she needed respite and they couldn't have been less helpful.
Reading over my first post I meant to write the social services said its her fault (the mum) not the child. (Typing error)
But to me on the outside it seems clear that his aggression etc is largely caused by his conditions.

[AliceK]

Would it be worth mum calling someone like NSPCC?? Surely someone has to listen to her. She has a teenager who is violent towards others including younger siblings and he has a knife in his possession!!! It's a tragedy waiting to happen, I really feel for her

xxx

[Simona]

Would it help if i lodged a safe guarding concern?

I am really amazed at social services not helping.
She just told me she found a knife in his room.

This is a very personal and difficult issue and you need to act ...look at your Safeguarding policy and then act according to the procedures you have in place to keep children in your setting safe and according to what it is your duty and right to do

[Chatterbox Childcare]

Pacey has a dedicated safeguarding section which you can call for help and advice aswell as the 24/7 legal line which puts you in touch with a solicitor. they may be able to tell you where mum stands with regards to social services and their obligations.

Otherwise I would look at taking it to the papers - social services refuse to help mum etc...

[jadavi]

Thanks

I just lodged a complaint with my local Safeguarding help line. It was just the call handler and she says a social worker will call me back . Meanwhile he has trashed the house today, hit a younger brother , gone on the roof and is now trying to put a brick through the window. The senior social worker advised her by text just to try and make special time with him and then went off duty!!
I am very inclined to go to the papers actually. It would take a lot if courage though.
I'm particularly enraged after hearing a long interview on the radio with out local head of social services re the troubled families programme and how much headway they are making with it. I have her name and I will report this every day if necessary.

[jadavi]

I am with Morton Michel (or whatever they are called!)

Does anyone know their safeguarding help line number?

[Mouse]

Sadly I think this is becoming more and more common due to the cuts in funding for mental health services.

I really hope your parent can get some help. It sounds like an incredibly difficult situation for all concerned

[Simona]

I am with Morton Michel (or whatever they are called!)

Does anyone know their safeguarding help line number?

Have you thought of getting advice from the NSPCC?

How to contact us | Worried about a child? | Help and advice | NSPCC

[jadavi]

Thanks Simona

I'll get on to that in the morning.

No social worker rang me back.

He has now again been arrested

The mum is thinking of taking the other 5 children to an unknown address and not being there when they try to deliver him home again.

They did put him in foster care for a week and he did really well with a couple who listened to him and gave him attention 24/7 (he doesn't sleep as refuses his meds)
But they say there is no money to keep him there and he has to come home.

[Simona]

Thanks Simona

I'll get on to that in the morning.

No social worker rang me back.

He has now again been arrested

The mum is thinking of taking the other 5 children to an unknown address and not being there when they try to deliver him home again.

They did put him in foster care for a week and he did really well with a couple who listened to him and gave him attention 24/7 (he doesn't sleep as refuses his meds)
But they say there is no money to keep him there and he has to come home.

Make sure you get someone to support you...you need that.

[jadavi]

Update

They did arrest him but brought him back before the mum could leave with the other children. She was going to go off radar so he would have to be put in care again. The police woman told the mum that they have this with other families and have to take the boys back home as social services won't take them.

[jadavi]

It is so likely that one of the children will get hurt.

I will ring Lado and nspcc today.

If social services have not got resources what can be done?

[hectors house]

What a crazy situation - hope you find some help for this poor parent and very mixed up boy - such a shame that he seemed better with the foster parent but Social services can't afford to fund him to stay there. No family should have live in fear of being attacked every minute of the day and night - could boy be sectioned under mental health act otherwise I fear the mother will have a breakdown and beat him to the mental hospital, then Social services will have to pay for fostering for all the other children too!

[Mrsh3103]

How awful
Have you tried phoning ss and raising a new concern about the welfare and safety of the youngest children?
Instead of phoning and saying 13yo is a danger because he's done/doing this, maybe say x is in danger because someone in their house is doing x,y,z.
Maybe a new approach to reporting it might help.
Or get someone else to report it. A family friend or if you have a cm friend- someone who so far hasn't raised a concern.

[Simona]

It is so likely that one of the children will get hurt.

I will ring Lado and nspcc today.

If social services have not got resources what can be done?

If you do not know ring those who do know what the procedures are and can help ...like the NSPCC...here we can only support you with words...action is now needed maybe?