Alcohol and Childminding!
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  1. #1
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    Default Alcohol and Childminding!

    Okay, so obviously I am not talking about me personally drinking, but my husband! He works long hard days in London and has to commute, Friday's he does an early and is usually home by just after 5pm, when I have one 7yr old mindee left. He comes in, gets a beer from the fridge and sits in the garden, he only has one, then has a shower. Mindee does not leave until 7pm.

    I have said before that he shouldn't drink around mindees but his arguement is "This is MY HOME, I won't be told what I can and cannot do after a long week at work, it's only one!" I know mindees parent would not mind. Once I said at collection "Oh, wine o'clock now!" and he laughed and said I didn't have to wait until his child left to enjoy a drink, but of course I would never, ever drink while working!

    How would you handle the hubby situation, I can't really tell him he isn't allowed a drink, but what if I get one parent who is dead against it?

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    Personally I would respond that the mindee is your responsibility and as such they wouldnt be left alone with your oh anyway.

    Hth x

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  4. #3
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    It's a tough one because on the one hand I can see you DH's point of view in that it is his home and if he wants a beer after getting in from work he should be able to but then on the other hand I wouldn't be happy for my mindees to be seeing anyone in my home drinking and as a parent I would not have been too happy if my children had seen their childminders husband drinking. If your DH wanted to light up a cigarette in the garden in view of a mindee would you allow that? To me it's the same sort of thing.
    Can you perhaps keep the mindee out of the garden whilst your OH goes and has his beer so they can't see??

    xxx

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    I think your hubby is quite right - I doubt he is tempting the child in your care to parteake or downing the strong stuff in fact he is probably staying as far away from them as he can and he probably deserves a beer at the end of the week.

    And as shortstuff says - spot on.

    The only one imo who can complain is you, fancy taunting you by sitting in the sunshine with a cold beer whilst you work away

    I don't think your other half having a beer on a Friday evening - once a week - can be compared with having a cigarette - I definitely wouldn't allow a cigarette to be smoked on my premises as it is purely socially unacceptable and harmful to everyone however I find what your husband is doing is socially acceptable and not harmful.
    Last edited by Koala; 22-07-2014 at 12:13 PM.

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    I have had parents come and have a beer in the garden - can't see why your hubby can't. He isn't responsible for any child after all.
    Debbie

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    personally I wouldn't be letting my dh. Absolutely no chance would he be drinking without me
    When someone tells you nothing is impossible, tell them to go slam a revolving door

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  11. #7
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    My DH is the same he has a short shift on a Friday so does the school run on his way home and wants a beer at about 4. My DH does long 12 hour days sometimes 6 days a week so I wouldn't begrudge him a drink at the end of the week and his argument would also be it is my home! Don't push him, he might just turn around and say he's going to the pub for one instead then :-) as long as he isn't getting legless in front of the mindees I don't see it as a problem!

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    I can't see the problem at all as long as he isn't going to be in charge of the children one beer late on a Friday isn't going to hurt.

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    When I was teaching we used to have a buffet lunch on the last day and the Head would provide wine. Looking back I think that was a bit naughty but as others have said, your hubby isn't in charge of your mindees. I think the parents are lucky to have someone to look after their child until 7 on a Friday evening. I wouldn't begrudge my hubby for doing it. My only thought is that if he is doing it in the garden, do you have a good relationship with your neighbours? They might not realise that it is just your hubby who is drinking, or that it is just one...

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    He doesn't have to draw attention to it. Can he pour it into a glass? It would just be like any other drink. He's not in charge of mindees so I can't see a problem if he sits in the garden with a drink.

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  17. #11
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    Just one beer on a Friday evening. You could put it down as your DH teaching the child about healthy drinking habits. Every day we hear about how much this young girl drunk before jumping off a bridge how drunk this young lad was when he drove off a motorway. We see the bad side of drinking and children see the wrong way to have a drink. Then we find our selfs trying to stop children seeing responsible drinking. I think you should let all children see responsible drinking before binge drinking becomes all they see.

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    this is interesting

    i love a glass of wine in the evening (after mindees have gone). I'm in Ireland and was told at inspection all alcohol has to be locked away during minding hours. So i presume we cant allow family members/visitors to drink while i have mindees here.

    I can see his point of view but it is also a work place till mindees go home. There are lots of things we cant do during working hours

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  21. #13
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    Thank you ladies. I don't begrudge him having a drink at all, although I am slightly jealous lol! The reason I asked about it was because when I did training I was told no alcohol at all around minded children.

    I couldn't have even used the excuse about being at work, DH works in central London and at his company it's any excuse for a beer LOL!!

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    I find this interesting too. I think I'd be tempted to say put it in a glass and don't make an issue out of it.

  23. #15
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    I had a similar situation. To stop my husband drinking out of the can so the children would not be aware he was drinking alcohol I bought him a special beer mug. It is kept in the freezer and keeps the beer really cold while it is drunk. my husband loves it and uses it all the time, and the mindees (and parents) don't know what he is drinking!

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  25. #16
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    I'm sorry I haven't read all the comments but I was just thinking is he drinking from a bottle or can? Maybe he could pour it into a glass or ikea cups ( pint ones that are made of China so couldn't see contents) might be a silly suggestion but just a thought. That way he can still enjoy his end of week beer without you being weary of mindee knowing the alcohol situation. X

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    Quote Originally Posted by Glitter View Post
    I had a similar situation. To stop my husband drinking out of the can so the children would not be aware he was drinking alcohol I bought him a special beer mug. It is kept in the freezer and keeps the beer really cold while it is drunk. my husband loves it and uses it all the time, and the mindees (and parents) don't know what he is drinking!
    I was going to suggest this too! Win-win. Your DH gets to drink his beer and it stays cool and LOs don't know what he's drinking.
    How are things, Emma? I've been thinking about you and wondering how you and your family are getting on?

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    To be honest, I'd be more concerned about your husband's attitude than the fact he has a drink at the end of the week!

    It's a shame he isn't a bit more considerate of the fact you are working from home. Maybe he should be a bit more respectful and the two of you could come up with something that works for you both. I wouldn't be happy if my husband drank beer out of the can when mindees were here, but wouldn't bother so much if he had it out of a glass. But if he came out with the attitude "it's my home and I'll do what I want"..........................


    ....well, he just wouldn't. He knows better than that

  28. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by EmmaReed84 View Post
    Thank you ladies. I don't begrudge him having a drink at all, although I am slightly jealous lol! The reason I asked about it was because when I did training I was told no alcohol at all around minded children.

    I couldn't have even used the excuse about being at work, DH works in central London and at his company it's any excuse for a beer LOL!!
    I was always told that about no alcohol even being on show around minded children. Ours lives on top of a cupboard in the kitchen. I can't reach it, so mindees have got no hope. And none of them have ever even seemed to even notice it there. I do move it out when I've got an inspection due though!

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    When I had my pre reg I asked about my built in wine rack that is up beyond reach of LO - no problem was the reply. The LO will not be in the kitchen without me so not likely to climb up and sneak a quick one.
    Interesting thoughts about whether children should see an adult drinking or even beer/ wine bottles on view- surely teaching responsible eating/ drinking by role modal is better than keeping it all hidden and taboo??

    My own sons were allowed a small european style beer from 15 ...but just one..and the odd half glass of wine at special occasion home meals. .they have gone on to be responsible drinkers, never excessive but some of their friends talked about never being allowed a drink until they reached 18 then they went berserk.. Curiosity meant they drank until they collapsed.... In our current knowledge of what is healthy or not it is more difficult to make these decisions.....

    But having said all this - despite it being in a rack ..I would never drink whilst childminding...and my DH would wait for me until after they have gone as the relaxing drink time is a bit of a both relaxing in the early eve sunshine together moment.

    I do try not to open a bottle of wine mid week, an occasional small sherry maybe .......unless I am on my holiday...which I am !!!! So ......

 

 
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