Hheeelllpppp please!!

[smurfette]

So.. Still having problems with new mindee and family (one where dad wanted copies of my and hubby's id to keep!)

Little one is ten months ,
Was told he was an easy baby very laid back.,
Well he isn't! He was very unsettled first couple of weeks but had missed his settling in sessions due to croup, and now been off most of last week with diarrohea. Mum and dad
Are nice people and have paid me on time with no quibble over illness payment but they are definitely not telling me the whole story about Lo! Yesterday I had a nightmare day, they told
Me he was teething but hadn't given him any meds (he ' won't' take calpol so I think they don't bother!) and he cried alll morning while we were at my kids sports day which I was really cross
About. Eventually after he had been dosed up and slept for two and a half hours he was a different child. They have got him up the last three nights because he was 'chatting happily' in the middle of the night and don't leave him to settle himself., he is breastfed to sleep but I have managed to get him settled in the buggy eventually

This morning I asked had he been dosed up for teeth and dad says as he is exiting the door 'yes he is teething but to be honest if he is woken before he is ready he will cry all the time Til he gets put down again'!! Information which might have been useful before now, 5 weeks in, don't ya think?! So this am despite him sleeping for an hour before he arrived I have put him down again as he was crying .. He is now asleep and I intend to leave him there Til he wakes himself.,
Which is all well and grand but I have two toddlers here and my dd who would like to get out! As
Far as I can see he Is not in a routine at home,.
My middle
Dd was an awful sleeper but we persisted until she became one., they just say 'we have tried everything'

I cannot and will not keep my three dds
And two toddlers in all day every day during the holidays because he needs to sleep, but what to do?! If i say he needs to be in a sleep routine at home so he isn't sleeping here all day and I can take him out and do stuff they will just say 'but he won't sleep' aaaarrrggghhhhhh!!!!

[shortstuff]

Can you put him for his sleep in a buggy so that you can go out without disturbing him? I do that here if they are tired approaching a school run or similar.

[loocyloo]

Big hugs.

I think all you can do is to get LO into a routine with you so at least you know where you are ... Maybe a morning sleep 9 - 10 and then sleep after lunch.

As I'm sure you know children quickly learn a routine which is different ( or non existant ).

It sounds like LO is laid back and easy going because they always do exactly what he wants!

Good luck x

[smurfette]

No he won't sleep in the buggy when out that's the problem he needs to cry to go off to sleep ... That was the problem yesterday he wanted to sleep and although in the buggy he wouldn't sleep. He is still asleep now , for nearly two hours. Now the others will want to go down so we won't go anywhere .. My selling point is we are out and about most days!!

Mum has just messaged to ask how he is and is saying developmentally a lot going on so he finds it hard to wind down at night so it's good he is sleeping now .. They don't quite realise I have others to look after and although this is what they say they want for Him to socialise and have company I am starting to think they need a nanny!

[smurfette]

Big hugs. I think all you can do is to get LO into a routine with you so at least you know where you are ... Maybe a morning sleep 9 - 10 and then sleep after lunch. As I'm sure you know children quickly learn a routine which is different ( or non existant ). It sounds like LO is laid back and easy going because they always do exactly what he wants! Good luck x

That is what I have been trying to do but he is cranky then all morning cos I have woken him before he is ready., I haven't even attempted our usual soft play or music classes cos he has been cranky so everyone missing out., he is only here 3 days a week and while I know and have seen them get a different routine here I would hope that it would have started to happen by now and it's gonna take a lot longer if mum and dad let him wake all night and presumably let him sleep all day at home!! Grrrr

Thank you for the advice.
Sorry I am just cross xx

[shortstuff]

Im not surprised you are cross. It must feel as though you are beating your head against a brick wall. Would you be able to transfer him once asleep? is that possible or would he wake?

[loocyloo]

Thank you for the advice.
Sorry I am just cross xx

No worries I would be cross too.
I've got one who doesn't sleep at night as mum gets LO the moment she hears a mutter so they are up half the night and LO is often a grump here. my LO doesn't have a routine at home either but has learnt my routine.
Big hugs.
It is beginning to sound as if a nanny is the best option for them x

[Happiness]

OMG. Sounds like you and I are on the same boat at the moment. I look after a boy who was one in May. I only found out from Facebook that mum still breastfeeds him every 2 hours. He won't eat, drink, sleep or play. Just cries all the time. I have him 3 days a week. Since he started 3 weeks ago I haven't done any groups at all. I feel awful at the moment. All this crying gets me really down. Also I feel like my daughter and other lo are missing out on lots of things at the moment. I have spoken to the parents lots of times. I am so cross with them both. I feel like they don't care whatsoever. Selfish and cruel I think
I am beginning to think that a nanny is the only option they have too. I won't quit yet but if he doesn't settle in the next 2 weeks I will be terminating the contract. I don't think I can listen to him crying all the time. Apparently my job is easy that's what EVERYONE says to me.
Yeah right.

[mrsb79]

I feel for you ladies it's so tough trying to juggle new lo's who's parents constantly give in to them. Sometimes I think that they think were miracle workers. I have a lo who constantly cries and wants picking up all the time but I can't do it as I have other lo's to look after let alone my 6 month old. Set yourself a time limit of when you expect things to change and if they don't give them notice not all children will take to us and we won't take to all children x

[smurfette]

I feel for you ladies it's so tough trying to juggle new lo's who's parents constantly give in to them. Sometimes I think that they think were miracle workers. I have a lo who constantly cries and wants picking up all the time but I can't do it as I have other lo's to look after let alone my 6 month old. Set yourself a time limit of when you expect things to change and if they don't give them notice not all children will take to us and we won't take to all children x

Thanks .. I am off on hols on 5th July, need the money before then so that's my date to battle on Til, see how we go. I told mum I hadn't known he just cried until he went to sleep again if I got him up before he was ready, and made my point about not being able to get out and about. She says he sleeps most of night she dream feeds him , catches him as soon as he starts to grizzle and has tried everything except crying it out or controlled crying.. So basically they pick him up as soon as he grizzles

[smurfette]

OMG. Sounds like you and I are on the same boat at the moment. I look after a boy who was one in May. I only found out from Facebook that mum still breastfeeds him every 2 hours. He won't eat, drink, sleep or play. Just cries all the time. I have him 3 days a week. Since he started 3 weeks ago I haven't done any groups at all. I feel awful at the moment. All this crying gets me really down. Also I feel like my daughter and other lo are missing out on lots of things at the moment. I have spoken to the parents lots of times. I am so cross with them both. I feel like they don't care whatsoever. Selfish and cruel I think I am beginning to think that a nanny is the only option they have too. I won't quit yet but if he doesn't settle in the next 2 weeks I will be terminating the contract. I don't think I can listen to him crying all the time. Apparently my job is easy that's what EVERYONE says to me. Yeah right.

Yeah I think my little one is fed constantly at home too, she was gonna try feed him just at night but nurse said to express
And keep it up..
I appreciate the benefits of breastfeeding but I can't help thinking poor little mite expecting it all day! I am not sure my parents care either more a 'well he is your problem for the next 10 hours ' thing !

[CookieCutter]

Oh, I can sympathize! I have just given notice (within 4 week settling period) to parents of a 10 mo who cried non stop unless he was being held. I gave it 3 weeks, and if anything, he seemed to be getting worse. I spoke to mum who suggested I wear him in a sling all day, which I couldn't/wouldn't do. The non stop crying was quite stressful, especially for my dd and the other lo I look after. I felt so guilty as well because my dd and other mindee were being more or less ignored as I was trying desperately to keep the crying to a minimum. I found that we were hardly getting out anywhere because if I put lo down just long enough to put my shoes on (nevermind everyone else's shoes, packing drinks and nappies, etc) he would go into hysterics! Eventually mum basically said she didn't believe her angel was behaving this way as she had never seen it, and wasn't prepared to change any home routines to help her lo settle better here. She told me that as a childcare professional, I should be able to settle him. Nevermind the stress the other 2 have to go through, or the fact that changing things at home would actually benefit her lo! (Once she forgot lo's dummy, which he needs for sleeping, and got annoyed when I phoned and asked her to bring it because she was at work and in her eyes I should be able to settle him as I'm a childcare professional. Apparently childcare professional means magic.)

I feel completely refreshed not having lo this week, and really enjoy my job again! Mum is still sending me emails calling me unprofessional (which, by her definition, must mean 'won't give into my demands') and just generally being...um...not so nice. To be fair, I gave notice 40% due to lo not settling and 60% due to mum being very demanding and hard to please.

I do hope you have better luck. It's sooo difficult when parents don't give us all the info or just aren't willing to change anything at home I'm order to help their little ones! X

[amyp]

I had one like this is took me 3 months and he changed a lot- now I can get all 5 under 18 months to sleep at the same time! Yeaaaa me!!

I am sure the baby will settle- good luck x

[ziggy]

I know it's not easy but i find it helps to settle new ones if we stay home for the first week or so. I understand that makes it difficult for other mindees. I had a 10month old start in January, she'd never been left with anyone and only came 2 days a week. She cried every time i moved, so i spent first few weeks just sitting with her in playroom, thankfully she did sleep.

In your situation I think I would have mum in for a chat, extend notice period and if things dont improve by after your holiday then let child go.

[smurfette]

Hia..
So we have some progress I no longer think he is not settled he is fine with me,
But seems to just be a particularly grumpy baby and sleeps a lot! Apparently mum dreamfeeds him as soon as he stirs to make sure everyone gets some sleep, and hasn't the heart to let him cry it out or controlled crying., this morning he was up before 5!!! Dad brought him and he slept 45 mins in car on way, then he was grumpy cos as far as I can see dad just decided to wake him (despite telling me he is always grumpy when woken until you next put him to sleep!) whiz resulted in me being handed a tired cranky baby who slept a further 2 hours , So we missed our toddler group (had two two year olds here also) then he of course wasn't quite tired enough for lunchtime nap when I needed him down before school run and my dds swimming! I could
Have woken him and took him to toddlers but he is cross all morning when woken before ready and it wasn't worth the risk!! I am on hols
In three weeks and am hanging onto him Til then but they will be getting notice when I am back if things don't improve... I feel like it's just my problem and they don't care while he is with me

[smurfette]

I had one like this is took me 3 months and he changed a lot- now I can get all 5 under 18 months to sleep at the same time! Yeaaaa me!! I am sure the baby will settle- good luck x

Impressive lol!!

[smurfette]

Oh, I can sympathize! I have just given notice (within 4 week settling period) to parents of a 10 mo who cried non stop unless he was being held. I gave it 3 weeks, and if anything, he seemed to be getting worse. I spoke to mum who suggested I wear him in a sling all day, which I couldn't/wouldn't do. The non stop crying was quite stressful, especially for my dd and the other lo I look after. I felt so guilty as well because my dd and other mindee were being more or less ignored as I was trying desperately to keep the crying to a minimum. I found that we were hardly getting out anywhere because if I put lo down just long enough to put my shoes on (nevermind everyone else's shoes, packing drinks and nappies, etc) he would go into hysterics! Eventually mum basically said she didn't believe her angel was behaving this way as she had never seen it, and wasn't prepared to change any home routines to help her lo settle better here. She told me that as a childcare professional, I should be able to settle him. Nevermind the stress the other 2 have to go through, or the fact that changing things at home would actually benefit her lo! (Once she forgot lo's dummy, which he needs for sleeping, and got annoyed when I phoned and asked her to bring it because she was at work and in her eyes I should be able to settle him as I'm a childcare professional. Apparently childcare professional means magic.) I feel completely refreshed not having lo this week, and really enjoy my job again! Mum is still sending me emails calling me unprofessional (which, by her definition, must mean 'won't give into my demands') and just generally being...um...not so nice. To be fair, I gave notice 40% due to lo not settling and 60% due to mum being very demanding and hard to please. I do hope you have better luck. It's sooo difficult when parents don't give us all the info or just aren't willing to change anything at home I'm order to help their little ones! X

Wow that is a awful and yes very similar situation he just is used to being picked up at first whimper!!

[Happiness]

Some progress here too. Yayyy. My lo has started eating, drinking and ,,,,,sleeping
Let's hope this lasts. I was going mad at some point lol. I jus can't listen to a crying baby.

[smurfette]

[QUOTE="Happiness;1365943"]Some progress here too. Yayyy. My lo has started eating, drinking and ,,,,,sleeping Let's hope this lasts. I was going mad at some point lol. I jus can't listen to a crying baby.[/QUOTE

Good news! Had a better day today, me getting used to him a bit but also him adjusting to our routine .. Here is hoping our luck continues!!

[natlou82]

Glad you are seeing some progress x I am also settling in a baby 1 day a week and she also screams every time it put her down. I can sit her on my lap to play but if I put her just off my knee onto the carpet she screams! Will not sit in the highchair and screams at my toys. Apparently she can crawl and pull up but unfortunately I haven't been able to see that yet. I'm hoping things will improve with time but it is such a hard day when she's here.