Funny things children say

[munch149]

Anyone got any funny comments there mindees or own children have said.

One child told me the other day she went to the zoo with her parents and a lion ate her mum and dad

Another told me off for using my shouting voice. She said 'you never shout, why did you shout?' I've been lucky that all my mindees have been well behaved unfortunately oh isn't so good and shouted at him for letting the dog in the room we were eating in.

One said her baby sister (only child) gave her mummy a big belly (no baby on the way). I said that mummy's tummy wasn't big. She replied no mummy hasn't got a big tummy like you.

[jellyelly]

One of my mindees said "I was born in a helicopter, then I went to nursery then I went to the pub!" He's 3.5 years old. My son appears to have been watching too much top gear and is repeating phrases like "oh cock!" In his play. He is nearly six and my husband has a lot to answer too xx

[Koala]

My son announced at the zoo - quite loudly.

LOOK MUMMY IT'S A MULTI COLOURED LESBIAN!!!

Yes it was a camelion.

[Mouse]

We walked by some workmen once & mindee asked (in a very loud voice) "why does that man smell horrible?"

I just said that perhaps he'd been working very hard & was a bit sweaty


And of course, we often end up with the willy/bottom discussions. Mindee told me that her brother had a willy, daddy had a really big willy and mummy had a hairy bottom. Sometimes it's very hard to keep a straight face

[hectors house]

Driving through a village yesterday there were lots of houses for sale, I said to mindee (nearly 3 years), " What do you think the writing on those signs in the gardens say" - as quick as a flash she replied "no more growing carrots in the garden"! Haven't got a clue what the inspiration for that was - even drove back slowly looking at the signs to see if any had "carrots" or anything similar on? Made me chuckle all day

[littleDs31]

I was playing guess who with a 6yr old mindee when he suddenly announced "anyone can throw potatoes you know!" Goodness what he was thinking about hahaha!!!

[jackie 7]

In the army museum with boy I nannied. Room was full of ex soldiers. He looked at medal saying order of the condor. He said condom. Daddy had one and he threw it away !! Embarrassed nanny tried to hide as I was laughing too much. Lucky my friend got herself together and we left the room with her charge asking what they were for!

[Tazmin68]

I had a child only two who used to sing eg bea on the bus, bea on the bus eh I adio bea on the bus. One day she arrived and was singing mommy on the booze, mommy on the booze eh I adio mommy on the booze. Both parents are child protection officers for la. mentioned it to dad and he explained that he was trying to play mom up who supported west brom Albion and he supported birmingham city so he was trying to get child to sing mommy at the blues, mommy at the blues eh I adio mommy at the blues!!!!

[Mummits]

A Dad I know (divorced) had his two small daughters for the weekend. They were supposed to be in bed and he was watching late night TV on with some friends but the girls had had crept halfway downstairs and were watching too. The "expert" on this programme had just declared that you should always use a condom if you have a new partner - and the little girl piped up "Dad, what is a partner?!"

[karensmart4]

Conversation last week with gorgeous 3yr old mindee...

M,...... "Karen you mine best friend"

Me,...... "Ahh thank you M, I thought Nana was your best friend"

M,......Yes but you say we must share so I got 2 best friends why you got lines on your face?"

[funemnx]

lo: How old are you B? (a few years ago)

me: I'm 51

Lo: Wow! You look way older than that!......


Me on the walk back from school: (booming voice) Stop X don't run off!

Lo: When you do that, you sound like a superhero.... (me dead chuffed)

[Emra81]

Many years ago, an ex of mine with a 2 year old daughter was standing on the side of the swimming pool in his speedos while she was splashing about in the pool with me. She suddenly pointed to the large time-telling device on the wall directly behind him and shouted, very excitedly, 'Daddy cock!' Suffice to say, he went a delightful shade of crimson and I nearly drowned me and the little monkey as I was too busy sniggering to think about keeping us afloat!

[blue bear]

Very small waiting room,man with white beard came in,18month old ran towards him "father Christmas father Christmas" nearly knocked the poor fella over.

Yesterday mindee aged three "BlueBear do you kno we don't have any toilet paper at my house"
2nd mindee aged three "BlueBear when we get to the children centre I will go to the toilet and fill my pockets"

[TooEarlyForGin?]

These have really made me giggle.


After tot-rock, I walked a very tired 2 year old back to the car, passing the local shop. (only a short distance) and told her we would pop in to pick up some milk, but the little one said..

"I don't like walking."

"Why?"

"Because it gives me tummy ache."

"Never mind, we will be very quick and back to the car soon', and its a lovely sunny day"

Stands still, folds arms, "I'm really stressed now"

(Trying not to laugh) "why are you stressed"

"Because of all this stupid walking"

Wrote it up in the diary fabulous communication and language skills.

[hectors house]

Many years ago, an ex of mine with a 2 year old daughter was standing on the side of the swimming pool in his speedos while she was splashing about in the pool with me. She suddenly pointed to the large time-telling device on the wall directly behind him and shouted, very excitedly, 'Daddy cock!' Suffice to say, he went a delightful shade of crimson and I nearly drowned me and the little monkey as I was too busy sniggering to think about keeping us afloat!

I had the mum of a mindee ask me to explain why her 2 year old son kept saying "cock" and "*****", I asked her when he said these words - cock was going through town where there are several large "clocks" on buildings and ***** was when we went to toddlers I used to say to children in the car "down the hill, past the playground, over the river, under the BRIDGE and up the hill" trying to get them used to using directional words!

[shortstuff]

when i have aches and pains i tell DS its because im getting old and falling apart. He kindly tells me Im not 50 yet so im not old. What does he make of his great granny at 96?

[AdeleMarie88]

Today I was asked, where did the baby in mommy's tummy come from, did she buy it in tesco or grow it in the garden? Hahahahahaha x

[karen2010]

My mindee told me she had a baby in her tummy and was growing it so she could be a Mummy - she is 2 !!!

[wee_elf]

A little 4 year old in my keygroup once asked me if I had a "diafram", I asked what he meant and he said that his mummy had one that stopped her eggs falling out