any ideas why?

[yummyripples]

My friend has a mindee who is quite hard work. She is 19 months old. when the mindees parents come to pick her up she runs over to the blinds or the fireguard (both of which she is not allowed and does not touch all day) and bangs on them. Parents don't tell her off so my friend does but she doesn't really want to. She feels the parents should because they know it's not allowed. Question is why does she do it when the parents come?

[Glitter]

A lot of children misbehave when their parents come to collect them. It can be because the child is trying to get the parents attention, or because they want to punish the parents for leaving them all day.

Could your friend talk to the parents and explain that once they arrive to collect the child it is their responsibility to make sure they behave. It is possible the parents feel that because they are in the childminders house they feel uncomfortable telling the child off, or they might not realise the child is not allowed to touch the fireguard/blinds during the day.

If it continues to be a problem your friend could have the child ready to leave when the parents arrive and hand her over on the doorstep to stop it happening.

[yummyripples]

Thanks. She has all the tactics in place but it's just these two things that she goes for and we can't understand why .
My mindees cry at home time, refuse to put their coats on etc - I understand that is for the reasons you have given. I can understand that - this is a bit different because it is punishing my friend not the parents. It's as if mindee is saying 'go on I dare you to tell me off when my parents are here'

[blue bear]

She is testing when the boundaries can be stretched, your friend needs to remain in charge and treat the little one in exactly the same way she would if parent wasn't there, for one it reassures parents your friend has firm boundaries for Little one, also it models good behaviour for parent to copy at home. Secondly it will reassure little one that boundaries are firm.
Children are clever they will push and test constantly they will take any opportunity they get

[tess1981]

I remember a lo that when his mum arrived one day to collect him he looked at us and put his hands on my wall. He was 2. I thought nothing of it but his mum started to shout at him not to do it.
I asked what is he doing wrong.
She explained she just had her hall walls painted and has been telling him off for putting his hands on them so he really tried to wind her up by touching my walls as if to say what you going to do about this .... I though mum was going to burst a vein lol

[specks4]

Hi I had a little one who acted up when picked up and like you thought parents should say something to their child which they didnt. After a few times with parent not saying anything I said now ---- you know your not to do that so can you please stop. The child was bit shocked and then the parent stepped in and after few times the child stopped as knew it wasnt getting her anywhere.

[Rubybubbles]

Most of mine turn into monsters when their parents arrive :roll eyes:

But we get round this by having them pretty much ready to go asap the door goes lol! Not ideal as I do like to have a chat, but when a child is so excited as it's now mummy/daddy time they will go crazy!

[angeldelight]

I think it's because they think you won't say anything in front of their parents ?

Some of mind have done it in the past and I never understand why parents do not step in

These days children are ready at the door so it does stop a lot of it

Angel xx

[mama2three]

Thanks. She has all the tactics in place but it's just these two things that she goes for and we can't understand why .
My mindees cry at home time, refuse to put their coats on etc - I understand that is for the reasons you have given. I can understand that - this is a bit different because it is punishing my friend not the parents. It's as if mindee is saying 'go on I dare you to tell me off when my parents are here'

I think this is exactly whats going oon , and your friend just needs to keep telling the lo , whether or not parents are present.

[vals]

I can get them out of the door ok, but my problem has been treading on the plants in the front garden or swinging on the gate. After asking them not to do it a couple of times-with parents saying nothing,I then tell the child that if the break the plants/gate they will have to pay for new ones.lo amazing how quick that gets the parents to stop them.

[danemi1]

Can't believe how some parents don't keep an eye on their children!

[karen2010]

I think the Parents think that as they are in your house it is up to you to still tell the LOs off if needed - I certainly don't have a problem with that !
It is a bit of a difficult transition time as you have had them all day and been in charge and think the Parents don't want to "tread on your toes" by telling them off.
Once had a Parent pick up their LO who chose that exact time to do a smelly poo - parent was like....." Do you want to change them or do you want me to do it?" - not wanting to tread on my toes said it really nicely - " No no you go ahead!" I said ......!!!!!!!

[SYLVIA]

I have a 3yr mindee who plays up when mum comes, goes off back to sit and watch tv, or go back to the toys. I take charge and usher her back to the hall and begin getting her coat on. First few times it ended in tears because she didn't want to lose face but I just don't give in. You don't need it at the end of the day

[Nickidela]

I have the same with a 2 year old mindee. When he arrives he grabs my DD - (15 months) by the throat and pushes her over. Me and parents tell him off, he cries, then the second they're gone, he's happy and playing nicely with my DD. The exact same thing happens when they collect. It's got to the stage that as soon as the doorbell goes I swoop DD into my arms and she doesn't go back onto the floor until his parent/s leave. I've put it down to his excitement to see her but who knows! It's stressing his parents out, but I'm hoping he'll grow out of it.