Emotional child

**KatieFS** · 12-02-2014, 10:01 PM

Support /advice would be helpful -

I have looked after 2 yr old for a while now and she has always been fairly anxious. She has becone quite attached to me. trying so hard to help her. she is a smart cookie, doing so well with everything except emptional/social skills. It's been a tough week!! And it's only Wednesday!

Whenever I leave room she gets upset. She generally sticks nxt to me everywhere we go. She gets upset if she can't see me at playgroup type environments, or on school run. She gets upset if other children try to communicate with get or show her affection. She sometimes lashed out at children. I do of course reassure her 'it's ok they are saying hello' etc and 'we do not hit/ push'. She also now doesn't like wind or rain, crying on school run as it was raining. Very little resilience to difficult situations. Help!

Both days I have her this week... we've had big grizzles. Yesterday meltdown when another child was listening to something she wanted to (they all could listen but think she got possessive about who is doing what). Then cried on school run as was raining. Playgroup crying as I was sitting with a baby.
Today crying as it was raining, crying when another child said hello to her, another child tried to help her with her coat. I had to let go f her hand in playground as pushing buggy - she screamed! I just don't follow it.

I am meeting parents for her review in a few weeks and this is the area we always try to work on. I'm starting to feel I'm fighting losing battle, maybe this is just her personality. Ive never known a child like this. I really thought if we got her to socialise, she would improve. some subtle improvements but still lots of situations are a big challenge.
I feel mean for feeling frustrated but feeling like she is controlling what I do with who and has to be on her terms or she gets upset. This does upset the other children, they ask why is she upset? i say she is tired/sad/ not feeling well. It's exhausting!!!

Mum is expecting, due soon so she will be leaving and have to say I'm kind of looking forward to it. I feel so guilty saying it... as when it's just us 2 we have lovely time. She is only child at moment and has mum and dad to herself, mum is anxious parent which has rubbed off on her. I think they carry her, so is used to having someone close to her.... All factors I'm sure.

Can anyone relate to this? I feel like nothing I do will really help her in the long term..?
How should I put it across to parents. I'm thinking maybe under play it a bit as font want to add to their issues. Or should I be brutally honest? I generally tell then if we've had a situation so shouldn't be a shock. I think parents look to me as knowledgable expert if that makes sense and don't want then to feel too negative or sad about how she is doing.

**lisbet** · 12-02-2014, 10:17 PM

I can really relate

My second child was like this. I had looked after lots of children in my previous job, but I just couldn't get to the bottom of what was going on with my LO or work out how to help. Someone mentioned the following site to me and it made so much sense:

The Highly Sensitive Child

It really helped me understand the need to be close, and the struggle with busy places, rain, seams on clothes etc etc and that helped me to support my child. (School has been a challenge too: noisy, busy, worrying when teachers tell others off etc.)

My youngest child is also like this (and to be honest, I think I was a bit when I was a child

)

ETA My child is now 10 and has brought home a letter about a week long school camp - and they want to go

So proud

**KatieFS** · 12-02-2014, 10:32 PM

Wow this could describe this child

But my concern is getting parents on board with it, how could I do this without offending them. She is such a treasure, but is so sensitive.

**lisbet** · 12-02-2014, 10:54 PM

Originally Posted by KatieFS

Wow this could describe this child

But my concern is getting parents on board with it, how could I do this without offending them. She is such a treasure, but is so sensitive.

Well, as the website says, 15-20% of people and animals just happen to have these more sensitive nervous systems. Maybe you could say that

* you think this LO has a highly developed awareness of her surroundings and other people
* ie needing reassurance at playgroups and being alert to physical sensations such as rain
* you are thinking of supporting her with x, y and z and would welcome their suggestions and thoughts on this

x

**smurfette** · 13-02-2014, 07:33 AM

Originally Posted by lisbet

I can really relate

My second child was like this. I had looked after lots of children in my previous job, but I just couldn't get to the bottom of what was going on with my LO or work out how to help. Someone mentioned the following site to me and it made so much sense: The Highly Sensitive Child It really helped me understand the need to be close, and the struggle with busy places, rain, seams on clothes etc etc and that helped me to support my child. (School has been a challenge too: noisy, busy, worrying when teachers tell others off etc.) My youngest child is also like this (and to be honest, I think I was a bit when I was a child

) ETA My child is now 10 and has brought home a letter about a week long school camp - and they want to go

So proud

Lisbet thank you so so much for this! I have a mindee like op and struggle but also my middle child is This way too, she is currently struggling in school because the girls are all being mean to each other and she often comes home upset cos someone has been victimised! Have downloaded the book to my kindle and read a good bit last night it has really helped so thank you I am grateful!

**KatieFS** · 13-02-2014, 09:03 AM

Thanks lisbet, excellent! X

**jackie 7** · 13-02-2014, 02:58 PM

Book looks good. Will read tonight.

**kellyskidz!** · 13-02-2014, 04:40 PM

Thanks for sharing, great link for those with sensitive kids in their care or in their families xx

**lynncjt** · 14-02-2014, 01:51 PM

Thanks for this. It's to total opposite to me! I have been struggling to understand and help 2 of the children I have but this describes it brilliantly, I going to buy the book so I can lent it to parents as well.

**KatieFS** · 05-03-2014, 09:28 PM

Meeting with parents went very well. They are aware of how sensitive she is. We have made a plan - I think a big part if it is she controls things at home and is given immediate physical reassurance if anything is 'wrong'. So I can see she is used to getting upset and being given lots of cuddles etc.
the last few weeks she has been getting upset whenever I dont hold her hand. Usually when we are walking in a group, but sometimes when just us.
Any suggestions?

I physically cannot hold her hand all the time. Maybe reins - she doesn't 'need' them as she actually walks very well. I do obv hold hand in dangerous situations like crossing the road.

**smurfette** · 05-03-2014, 09:46 PM

Originally Posted by KatieFS

Meeting with parents went very well. They are aware of how sensitive she is. We have made a plan - I think a big part if it is she controls things at home and is given immediate physical reassurance if anything is 'wrong'. So I can see she is used to getting upset and being given lots of cuddles etc. the last few weeks she has been getting upset whenever I dont hold her hand. Usually when we are walking in a group, but sometimes when just us. Any suggestions? I physically cannot hold her hand all the time. Maybe reins - she doesn't 'need' them as she actually walks very well. I do obv hold hand in dangerous situations like crossing the road.

Glad Meeting went well,
You are having a tough time of it at the moment aren't you?! Hugs xx