How to say this nicely?!!!

**smurfette** · 31-01-2014, 08:09 PM

Mum wants to visit next week,
Prepared to put Lo jn part time but does not yet know her hours for work / days / or even when due back! Sounds a bit dodgy to me!! can't be bothered with a visit to be honest have done several lately which have come to nothing and want to fill my space ASAP don't want to waste my time or hers! How to phrase it... Help?!!!!

**shortstuff** · 31-01-2014, 08:17 PM

Um how about lets wait until we know I can fulfil your requirements. As otherwise it can cause the lo upset.

**MessybutHappy** · 31-01-2014, 08:18 PM

"Please be aware that I have another interested family, should you require my services I will need you to be clear on when and for how long if we are to be able to consider signing contracts, alternatively you may be happier on an ad hoc contact, but this does not guarantee space."

HTH

**Bluebell** · 31-01-2014, 08:38 PM

wow its almost rude isn't it? Does sound like a complete time waster.

Although maybe I've got the wrong end of the stick. Is she wanting to put little one in for part-time days but then potentially change the days / hours to suit her work requirements or she is just checking her options and hoping that when she finds out her work pattern you will have room for her?

Either way she obviously either doesn't get or doesn't care about the effect on you.

I wouldn't want to be messed around. I would advertise like mad and say what place you want to fill - person either commits to that with a 4 week deposit or has to take her chances when she finds out about her job - and yes - arrange the visit only when she knows what she wants and not before.

Good luck x

**yummyripples** · 31-01-2014, 10:13 PM

I would say she is welcome to come round and see you but until she knows the full details you cannot offer her space

**jackie 7** · 31-01-2014, 10:44 PM

How about. Please tell me what days you will need so that I don't waste your time visiting if I can't do the days. Or don't bother to come if you can't bother to tell me what you actually need.

**smurfette** · 01-02-2014, 12:43 AM

Originally Posted by jackie 7

How about. Please tell me what days you will need so that I don't waste your time visiting if I can't do the days. Or don't bother to come if you can't bother to tell me what you actually need.

Lol Jackie!! Thanks all will concoct some kind of email so! Xx

**blue bear** · 01-02-2014, 09:32 AM

I'd probably offer to meet thema toddlers so you can carry on as usual and arrange a parent interview when they have some concrete plans.that way you are not totally turning them away.

**chriss** · 01-02-2014, 11:24 AM

Some parents want to see what care is out there well ahead of needing it, fair enough. But it often comes to nothing is a complete waste of time. Arghhh

**smurfette** · 01-02-2014, 11:39 AM

Originally Posted by chriss

Some parents want to see what care is out there well ahead of needing it, fair enough. But it often comes to nothing is a complete waste of time. Arghhh

Yeah I do understand that and ordinarily would Accommodate her visiting in case it turns into something but I am after something quite specific., have a number of Los leaving in next few months and want to stop working Fridays so am looking to fill two spaces Monday to Thursday about 8-530, to match the one Lo who is staying! I have been cobbling together part timers with silly hours the last few years And really want something straight forward! Plus have been messed around with no shows and parents time wasting (latest one visiting three times signing a contract paying a deposit and then ringing next morning to say sorry I don't trust you to not let uour dog eat my baby!) so am just not in the mood bah humbug!!

I have emailed her and said that I would prefer to wait until she knows what she wants as I would hate to waste her time if it turns out she needs some thing i can't acommodate. We have talked about ad hoc but I am reluctant to start someone and get baba settled when I don't know how quickly I will fill the spaces, oI am in limbo cos the part timers are all leaving at different times.

**smurfette** · 05-02-2014, 09:14 PM

This woman cannot take a hint lol she has emailed me again today requesting a visit.! Cannot believe really that she doesn't know when back at work or rough days / times.. There is something she isn't sharing!!

**bunyip** · 05-02-2014, 09:50 PM

Doesn't sound like there's much more you can do, unless perhaps you reply saying, "I have availability strictly and only as follows [details, details, blah, blah]. Please come round when you know your work pattern and only if this suits and do not be asking for anything different as a smack in the face sometimes offends."

.....or similar.

**Emra81** · 05-02-2014, 10:12 PM

I wish we all lived in a world based on your design Bunyip, where everyone could just tell it like it is....life would be so much more straight forward. And funnier!

**Chatterbox Childcare** · 06-02-2014, 08:49 AM

I would email and state your available hours and that you would be happy to see her but would it be possible to wait until she knows her hours

**loocyloo** · 06-02-2014, 09:00 AM

I was just thinking ... maybe she wants to meet you, and then fit her work hours around you?

I have a mum who was prepared to wait for me to have a space, and then organised to work when I could care for her child. She said the right childminder was more important than the job!

I would meet her, no harm, and she may also pass your details on to other parents looking for care.

good luck x

**wee_elf** · 06-02-2014, 03:36 PM

Maybe you should show them a cupboard well stocked with dog food, therefore you will never be in the situation of having to feed children to the dog?

Some people!!! xx

**hectors house** · 06-02-2014, 03:45 PM

I have often had parents visit when they don't know when they are going back to work or if they don't know what they need yet, or sometimes if I haven't got a space at the moment I am proud of the service I offer and consider it all to be good publicity and helpful for a parent who is worried about leaving baby with someone else and even if I can't fit them in, it gives them a good idea of what to look for and ask about when they go to visit someone else. I have often had parents delay going back to work by using up all their holiday to wait for a space with me or have managed to change working days, so I never consider a visit a waste of time.

**smurfette** · 07-03-2014, 11:28 AM

Well lol!! Just had that lady here!! I told her what I had available ad hoc and since I already had other parents visiting I decided one more wouldn't make a difference! She is lovely!! We hit it right off and Lo was a sweetie

She hasn't got a job to go back to she was looking for one and has now decided not to go back for the foreseeable .. Not sure why she didn't say that the reason she couldn't give me days and hours was because she was job searching lol! Anyways gonna try and fit her in some ad hoc she thinks lo would benefit from some time away from her, to develop her social skills.. She is a very sensible mommy and I liked her a lot! So there you go!

Just couldn't cope with a parent coming maybe for nothing! This has worked well though scheduled four this morning while kids are at school so my usual pre visit stress doesn't affect them and get it all out way in one go! think I will do it like this in future!