need advice not sure what to do
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  1. #1
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    Default need advice not sure what to do

    I have been looking after a little one since june. When she first started she was lovely very good for me but and this is a big but when mum came to collect she would attack mum. She would slap pull hair kick mums face scream climb out of car seat you name it she has done it. Since october i have had the same treatment and i have tried everything i can think off, talking, charts , time out. Today has been horriable i have been once again kicked hit slap for asking her to put on shoes or for asking her to wipe her nose. She is 3 next month mum said she is getting better at home and is disspointed that is not better here. I really dont know what my next step is. Help please

  2. #2
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    over it ;-)
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    Have you asked mum what she is doing if she is seeing an improvement? Maybe if you both use the same method it will be more successful?

  3. #3
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    I have mum said she just lets her tell mum what to do which i dont really want to get into. If its raining and she doesnt want to wear a coat mum will say ok dont but i think if i dont make her wear a coat she will be sick.

  4. #4
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    what exactly happens, try to figure out the triggers, so you say to lo hop into the car and i presume she goes into a rage? try not asking so as you go to swoop her up your point out the bird you can see and as she looks and is distracted you pop her in and fasten up before she can kick off.

    mega amount of praise for getting in the car nicely.


    its all about pre-empting the behaviour and stopping the viscous circle she is in of asking, tantrum, rage told off, disappointment.

    try to think around the behaviour, and try to avoid the trigger, no nonsense and lots of praise, its hard work but worth it.

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  6. #5
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    Choice! 'Which shoes would you like to wear, the red ones or the blue ones' same with coat, always give a choice if possible distracts from the issue at hand and eventually will fizzle out into her not being bothered about it x

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  8. #6
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    Thanks ill give anything a try. I tried asking her to show me how she gets her shoes on and it worked but once she realised she had done something i wanted she took them off and throw them at me. Mum said if she doesnt want to get dressed we dont make her or if she doesnt want to get ready we just run late until she tells me we can go.
    Tomorrow is a new day so ill try again

  9. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by kellyjef View Post
    Thanks ill give anything a try. I tried asking her to show me how she gets her shoes on and it worked but once she realised she had done something i wanted she took them off and throw them at me. Mum said if she doesnt want to get dressed we dont make her or if she doesnt want to get ready we just run late until she tells me we can go. Tomorrow is a new day so ill try again
    That doesn't sound like she is getting better to me, it sounds like the child is calling the shots and being pandered to, so she has no reason to get stroppy at home.

    Not sure what to suggest. I have things I will compromise with kids on in the spirit of not sweating the small stuff, but will not be hit or kicked, will not have a child refusing a polite and sensible request. Nothing you try will be effective without mum presenting a united front with you. Doesn't sound like she is at the moment, it sounds like she is wimping out, so I would make that your first port of call.
    Apologies for the random full stops. Phone buttons too small, thumbs too big.

  10. #8
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    TBH if mum is letting her have her way - which is the reason she is improving her behaviour - YOU are fighting a losing battle. I would meet with mum and tell her that you need to plan together for consistency and you will give it a month as you are not prepared to put up with the kicking etc any longer.
    if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got

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