feel blue

[starschildmind]

I just need to chat really.

I feel so down. Ive recently posted about my old friend that pulled her daughter out because she decided to cause an argument and then my cm friend took her on. That has then turend our relationship sour.

Also a friend that is setting up as a cm but doesnt like children and wanting loads of help so putting on me.

Well ive stepped right back just trying to get on with my job but I feel so loanly and down. I feel ive lost 2 of my good friends and my best friend in the space of 8 weeks.
All I feel I do is try and help people do my best and get it thrown back in my face so feeling crappy. I feel so alone.
I love my job but just feel like jacking it all in so then at least I can go out and meet new people but that then affects my children.

I need some morel support and advice to move forward I just want to crawl under a rock and stay there.

[Ripeberry]

Sorry you're feeling so down. But if you think about it, you've done nothing wrong. It's the people around you behaving like of the highest order. Are they really such good friends? And as for the person setting up as a CM and nagging you for advise, just point them towards a forum or website. They can sort it out for themselves.
You don't need to be surrounded by idiots. They waste your energy.
((((Hugs)))))

[smurfette]

Aw hunny hugs for you! I hear you, I had what I thought was a great friend and we decided to mind together but it was a disaster because she didnt want to do the work left me to do everything and had no respect for me my family or our stuff ., she was basically all out for what she could get. I miss her terribly because the relationship broke down after that and we used to spend most days together when we
Were minding seperately, so I find it lonely now. I do think friendships are the hardest thing in life and its rough when you are like you and me who do our best for people and to be good friends and its thrown back in our faces!

[green4lynn]

Hi there! What part of the country are you in? Maybe you could meet up with someone on here, there must be someone near you! As for your friend becoming a cm, parents will soon realise that she's not good with kids and she won't get any business (unless she undercuts everyone and gets parents who just want cheap childcare!). Don't give her any help, she doesn't deserve it!

I'm having a blue day too, but for different reasons obviously! My 18yr old went to Spain 3 weeks ago to Au pair but has just come home because she hated it, was homesick in a big way, and didn't really like the child (9yr old spoilt brat throwing tantrums all the time). My other daughter has taken residence in her sisters room (much bigger than hers), which was agreed beforehand, but now 18yr old has come back she's sulking because she can't have her room back! Part of me wants to tell her to grow up and make the best of things, but part of me wants to tell my youngest to swap back.
My husband is also annoyed with eldest for not trying harder to make a go of things! She'd been talking about Au pairing for such a long time, yet hardly gave it long enough to settle. She is basically a negative person, and focuses on the down side of things. So now she is back home with no job, no idea what to do and not really helping much!
I hadn't realised how much her negativity made me feel down, and everyone else in the house!
I love her so much and want to help her but no idea how! I just wish my hubby were a bit more sympathetic towards her, but he's being a grumpy ***!

Hope you feel happier soon!

Lynn x

[shortstuff]

Im sorry to hear you are thinking of quitting x

Your 'friends' arent behaving in a way friends should. You haven't done anything wrong judging on the posts you have put on here.

Dont let a bad few weeks ruin a career you love and are obviously very good at. We all have down times and if you quit because of this one you will probably really regret it.

We are always here to support you and I know we cant give a real hug but we can send virtual ones x n im sending them in bucketfuls x

Stay strong and vent on here whenever you need to x we will read and support in anyway we can xxx

[tas]

Sorry to hear you're going through a rubbish time

Can you look around for a few groups to attend, toddlers or childminding groups, hopefully you will meet some new people and be able to strike up new friendships

[snortlet]

sorry you are having a bad time. sending hugs xxx

[starschildmind]

Thanks people

Would love to meet new people but we are in quite a small town so I know all the childminders.
Childminders dont go to groups or drop ins. They have tried. The only ones that goes is the one thats its all turned sour with.
I dont dislike her but feel like she hates me. I dont know what I did really wrong. Shes a lovely person I just think she feels awkward but I have moved on and just want my friend back.

Aughhhh lifes so hard at times x

[Ripeberry]

Maybe offer her an olive branch. Have a chat to clear the air. She might be feeling the same as you. Be the one to make the first move

[starschildmind]

Hi there! What part of the country are you in? Maybe you could meet up with someone on here, there must be someone near you! As for your friend becoming a cm, parents will soon realise that she's not good with kids and she won't get any business (unless she undercuts everyone and gets parents who just want cheap childcare!). Don't give her any help, she doesn't deserve it!

I'm having a blue day too, but for different reasons obviously! My 18yr old went to Spain 3 weeks ago to Au pair but has just come home because she hated it, was homesick in a big way, and didn't really like the child (9yr old spoilt brat throwing tantrums all the time). My other daughter has taken residence in her sisters room (much bigger than hers), which was agreed beforehand, but now 18yr old has come back she's sulking because she can't have her room back! Part of me wants to tell her to grow up and make the best of things, but part of me wants to tell my youngest to swap back.
My husband is also annoyed with eldest for not trying harder to make a go of things! She'd been talking about Au pairing for such a long time, yet hardly gave it long enough to settle. She is basically a negative person, and focuses on the down side of things. So now she is back home with no job, no idea what to do and not really helping much!
I hadn't realised how much her negativity made me feel down, and everyone else in the house!
I love her so much and want to help her but no idea how! I just wish my hubby were a bit more sympathetic towards her, but he's being a grumpy ***!

Hope you feel happier soon!

Lynn x

Hi lynn

Sorry to hear your having a hard time to.
Lifes so hard at times and its very difficult so see the postive side and bounce back. Im finding it more difficult than usual at the mo. Big hugsss xxx

[starschildmind]

Maybe offer her an olive branch. Have a chat to clear the air. She might be feeling the same as you. Be the one to make the first move

Sad thing is I have been. And she says theres no problem but I know her to well to see shes still not right.

I just miss her dearly and its eating me up along with loosing my other friends. Its alot.

[Tulip]

I'm not suprised you feel so down, you have been through the mill haven't you.
I'd say don't give up on your friendships yet, stay in there and keep positive. All relationships have their ups and downs. They may not even realise how awful they have been. Loads of friends on here for support, pour your heart out, but keep smiling and focus on all the good things in your life x

[The Juggler]

honey

i went through a massive fall out with a cm friend. i was devastated and felt I couldnt' work without her support. But I forced myself to make new cm friends and I did. they were better friends that she ever was - more loyal and more supportive and more focused on the kids. Since that time I've seen my original friend mix with the minders she always used to slag off and practice in a manner that she used to think was inappropriate and lazy - even worse because she knows it is.

Grieve your friendships - you have to - but not too long as they are not worth it. Then You get yourself out there. make some real friends who are worth it - likeminded as you are about CM'ing and enjoy your job again.

[starschildmind]

Thank you all for your kind words.

Things arent much better. Still feel like poop.

Have sorted things out with one friend ( I think!)

My cm friend. Bridges have been burned. Shes been slating me behind my back ive lernt. Shame as thought she waslovely and not like that at all.

Why are people always horrible to me. I must have been a wasp or something in a past life!!

Im extreamly worn out with all the stress. Feel so down and always tired. How can I get my mojo back?

[sing-low]

Thank you all for your kind words.

Things arent much better. Still feel like poop.

Have sorted things out with one friend ( I think!)

My cm friend. Bridges have been burned. Shes been slating me behind my back ive lernt. Shame as thought she waslovely and not like that at all.

Why are people always horrible to me. I must have been a wasp or something in a past life!!

Im extreamly worn out with all the stress. Feel so down and always tired. How can I get my mojo back?

Losing friends is so hard, isn't it? Good news things are at least getting better with one of them.

When I'm feeling tired and down I try and think of one thing that will help me feel better (a few early nights, an evening watching a film (one I've been wanting to see, a chat on the phone with my sister, sometimes something as simple as doing the washing up to make the kitchen look better because I spend most of my time there or reading a book that's nothing whatsoever to do with work).

Hugs, hope things improve.

[Tulip]

I agree with sing low, get plenty of sleep, get out during the day enjoy some daylight, before it gets flippin dark again! (these early dark nights take some getting used to )
and then put some funny on the telly

[Tulip]

I meant put something funny on the telly. (I really should read it through before I hit the send button)