I need to scream! - rant alert

[Memina]

Ahhhh my family seem to think that I am a lovely rug they can stamp and walk all over!

My sister is having some marriage difficulties and I have been supporting her by looking after her children. Not only does she always pay me late she also assumes a hell of a lot and its really annoying me!

She has an appointment today about 40 miles away at 2.30 and will never make it to school to collect the kids by 2.30 from me or 3.15 from school. Now I've been asking her what she s doing this week and haven't heard anything from her.

So this morning I ask if she cancelled her appointment to be told no. So what time you collecting today? Oh can you collect x from school?
No actually as I have sent my son on a playdate and won't have my car to take all mindees out and back only for one child. Had she told me earlier in the week id have arranged to keep my car.

Grrrr she's stormed off, I feel guilty now but also annoyed that shes just assumed that my life isn't important.

[hectors house]

Sorry to hear your sister is taking you for granted - glad to hear that you put your foot down today, you gave her lots of opportunities to share her plans or to ask for help if she couldn't pick up children from you or school on time - I know she thinks she has lots on her mind at the moment but wrong of her to assume that you are a mind reader or a door mat!

[bunyip]

Ahhhh my family seem to think that I am a lovely rug they can stamp and walk all over!

My sister is having some marriage difficulties and I have been supporting her by looking after her children. Not only does she always pay me late she also assumes a hell of a lot and its really annoying me!

She has an appointment today about 40 miles away at 2.30 and will never make it to school to collect the kids by 2.30 from me or 3.15 from school. Now I've been asking her what she s doing this week and haven't heard anything from her.

So this morning I ask if she cancelled her appointment to be told no. So what time you collecting today? Oh can you collect x from school?
No actually as I have sent my son on a playdate and won't have my car to take all mindees out and back only for one child. Had she told me earlier in the week id have arranged to keep my car.

Grrrr she's stormed off, I feel guilty now but also annoyed that shes just assumed that my life isn't important.

OMG - they pay you ?????

My family walk all over me for free.

Seriously though, it's often family who are big on expectations and low on appreciation. Mine get a regular 'talking to' but it only lasts so long, then wears off and reverts to being taken advantage of, until the next time I've had enough.

[rickysmiths]

I would have asked her earlier in the week as you seemed to know what she would need. Seems a bit mean to cut her off at the last min. It is as if you planned it and it seems a bit spiteful to me given your sisters circumstances. I hope you never find yourself in that position.

If you really resent helping your sister and it annoys you she pays late etc then tell her and help her find another childminder. If not then support her fully, might she not be a bit at sixes and sevens at the moment and not thinking ahead and maybe she has money issues as well?

[smurfette]

I would have asked her earlier in the week as you seemed to know what she would need. Seems a bit mean to cut her off at the last min. It is as if you planned it and it seems a bit spiteful to me given your sisters circumstances. I hope you never find yourself in that position.

If you really resent helping your sister and it annoys you she pays late etc then tell her and help her find another childminder. If not then support her fully, might she not be a bit at sixes and sevens at the moment and not thinking ahead and maybe she has money issues as well?

That's a bit harsh, she said she had asked her all week! Can't put your life on hold for someone who doesn't appreciate it!

[Memina]

That's right I do try to help as much as I can but I work long hours, have 3 children of my own and yet I don't ever get offered any help.

I do resent that my mum and I do everything for her and she's always expects me to just sort it for her.

I feel bad because she's my sister but I feel like I'm never considered and my little family has to plod along with no extra help neither.

[FloraDora]

Family though...

I would go to the ends of the earth for mine..... Knowing that they would too....

If you can't rely on your family ...who can you???

[dawn100]

Floradora sadly not all family's are like you put it 'willing to go to the ends of the earth for each other'.
I'm the one in my family who will do anything to help anyone even when it's not really convinent eg taking my mum to hospital app whilst minding, just dropping at the entrance unable to go in with her whilst my sister who does not work couldn't take her because she would of had to of taken her 4yr old son with her, yet I took my 3yr old dd and two 1yr old mindees!
Sometimes you have to say no otherwise you become a door mat and just get used with no consideration for how it impacts on you.

Memina if your anything like me you'll feel crap you didn't help her out but sometimes you have to say no, although I'm not very good at that.

[shortstuff]

I really hope this will help your sister see what she is doing memina x

Sometimes we all need reminding that our problems are just that and dont need to constantly impact on everyone around us x

Fingers crossed for you she has learned a lesson x