Mindee's parents want my son to stay over

**serin** · 17-10-2013, 04:39 PM

I have a bit of an awkward situation. They mean well but my mindee's mum wants my son to go to there's one day so she "can give me a break." Problem is my husband wont even leave my son to my parents very easily let alone let him sleep over. Now she said today we must arrange this and he IS staying overnight. Im feeling abit uncomfortable with this and I dont know what to do. I havent said anything except yes we will sort it out because I feel its selfish if I say no because they have put their trust into me with their son. They dont realise that this is purely business and she came and saw my house and saw its clean etc and saw my crb checks. Dont get me wrong I trust them but I just would rather not be in this awkward situation of having to force my husband to at least let him stay there for say 3 hours...

**shortstuff** · 17-10-2013, 04:42 PM

Im sorry i have no advice i just couldnt read and run x

**Katiekoo** · 17-10-2013, 04:53 PM

That's a really tricky one, how old is ds? Could you just say "oh dear, dh thinks he's a bit young for a sleepover. ".
Could the children's dads look after the children together one afternoon while you and the mum do something nice? It might help your dh feel more in control?! Good luck.

**margaret** · 17-10-2013, 04:53 PM

How old is your son

**Nicola Carlyle** · 17-10-2013, 04:55 PM

How old is your son? Actually that aside its your decision. If you'd rather your son didn't stay over simply say I'm sorry but we dont feel he's ready for sleep overs just yet. If they keep going on about it and insisting that of course he is and must and he will just keep replying with the "thank you very much for the offer its very kind of you but we are not ready for him to start sleeping over anywhere just yet!". They will soon get the message.

**serin** · 17-10-2013, 05:00 PM

My son and theres have just turned 2

**Nicola Carlyle** · 17-10-2013, 05:03 PM

Mmmmm you see I'd say that's also to young but that's just my opinion (having a 2 and a half year old myself). I think if you just keep saying that your not ready for him to have sleepovers just yet she will just have to accept it, meaning well or not.

**Koala** · 17-10-2013, 05:17 PM

Well I don't think I would let a mindees parents have my son to stay.

Essentially we don't REALLY know anyone and I always air on the side of caution.

If I can tell you I have had things come to light about parents over the years:
One was on anti depresents - seriously clinically depressed
One diagnosed bi polar and sectioned
Several ending up in nasty divorces
Several bursting into tears because their home life has become unbearable.
And these are instances where you would have thought all in the garden was rosie and if I had listened to the gossip there is even more to tell if you catch my drift.

Now all of the above are common occurrences and I do not judge or think badly of people because of it, however I would not put my precious angels in their care and I am sure many mothers would understand.

I think if you are not comfortable you have a responsibility to say NO! tell them why, your children arn't swapsies.

**bindy** · 17-10-2013, 05:21 PM

WOW sorry just say NO !! I don't understand??

**VeggieSausage** · 17-10-2013, 05:21 PM

he is far too young for a sleepover for goodness sake, say you would rather not do a sleepover.....when she tries to arrange a date just be busy....

**Allie** · 17-10-2013, 05:23 PM

If your husband says no use that as an excuse or JUST say NO. Too young to compliated to have them properly checked out and you can say no to any requests from anyone

**starlight1** · 17-10-2013, 05:29 PM

I think that 2 is far too young...

Don't feel guilty...I would just say thanks maybe when he is older...Obviously won't happen...She may mean well but I do think 2 is far too young for a sleepover with anyone other than family...I had my friends son stay over the holiday...he was 6 and his first sleepover

**AliceK** · 17-10-2013, 05:35 PM

No way would I let a 2 yr old go on a sleepover. My DD is 6 and DS is 9 and I wouldn't even let them go on a sleepover. 2 is far too young.

xxxx

**Katiekoo** · 17-10-2013, 05:49 PM

I agree, 2 is too young to stay over with friends. I have cared for Mindees aged 2 overnight, but that's different, it's what I do, there's already an understanding that I'm trusted with the Mindees, they know a lot about me and my family, you can't really know them the way they know you.

**supermumy** · 17-10-2013, 06:18 PM

Maye just say no as he wouldn't sleep very well but a play date would be great

**sing-low** · 17-10-2013, 06:22 PM

At age two it is not a sleepover, it is babysitting. I would definitely go with 'we think he's too young'. You don't have to agree to this if you or your husband are uncomfortable.

**charlottenash** · 17-10-2013, 06:27 PM

2!!!!! My DS is almost 5 and has never slept over anywhere and I don't think id let him stay at a friends until secondary school.

**tas** · 17-10-2013, 06:29 PM

I also think 2 is far too young for a sleepover.... my partner was also very protective of our son and he was 8 before he had a sleepover
I think I would be honest and thank them for the offer but also tell them that you arn't ready for your son to go on sleepovers for a few years yet!

**SJ35** · 17-10-2013, 06:34 PM

I think he's a bit young too. Just say you're not comfortable with it, I'd probably just blame my dh lol x

**line6** · 17-10-2013, 06:37 PM

2 is way too young. Surely most los can only just cope with a night at 'very well known nannys' house at that age??? There is no benefit to a 2 year old to have a sleepover. Our children had their first sleepovers at friends houses at about 6 or 7. We've had a couple of my sons friends here this summer and he's just turned 7 - for all of them it was their first sleepover but my son is still not comfortable with going to sleep at their houses. And these are his friends, who we know and know the parents and they've done countless play dates, birthday parties and so on with. Just say no. Be brave or she'll keep asking.