Feeling like its getting too much
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  1. #1
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    Default Feeling like its getting too much

    I do love my job and have 14 kiddywinks to look after ranging from 14m-10yrs. I started minding in 2007 after being a nanny in London. I received a Good in Aug 2008 and another Good in March 2012. After really, really wanting an Outstanding and not getting it I was knocked back and lost my yearning for a while.
    But about a year later started to want that Outstanding again and I've worked so hard to achieve it. But after working myself to the bone, analysing and thinking about every single thing I do, I'm starting to wear myself out. Not only is it hard enough to work a 10hr day with children, being constantly on the go all day to then finish at 6pm, make tea for my own family and try to get some family time its really taking its toll on me, my patience after work is zero and my own children and dh get the brunt of it.

    Trying to constantly better myself is starting to get to me. I can't just get up in a morning and work, I have to think about what I could be doing better and sometimes I cant think of anything because everything has been thought of. I feel like I'm in a high powered job where I should be bringing in 100k, not 10k, I feel like the pressure is immense and after finishing my SEF, updating 4 LJ's and trackers, making sure my obs are up to date I feel so dragged down.

    This used to be enjoyable, I love kids but now I just look at them as trackers and what's he going to do next? A simple 10 piece jigsaw turns into a observation and can she do a 12 piece next time? Snack time turns into 'maybe they should be cutting their own fruit'. I despise Ofsted and hate what they do and are doing, they are stripping out the enjoyment of looking after children and making it so difficult.
    I don't know if i'm just tired or really fed up of this...... It could be the weather or it could be I had a busy weekend and I'm tired
    Thanks for listening to my moans and groans.
    Time Out.. The perfect time for thinking about what you're going to destroy next.

  2. #2
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    You could have written that post for me, I feel exactly as you do - I am on a constant drive of self improvement but each time I am inspected the goal posts have been changed, if I applied to be on "The apprentice" on tv and put this much thought, effort and time into it, i easily would be the winner. I have 7 LJ to keep up to date, I just completed my tax form yesterday - by far the closest to the paper tax form deadline I have ever been, I haven't started any of this tax years accounts yet, I have summarative assessments to write, a 2 year development check, haven't updated my SEF, and need to visit 2 Nurseries (they make no effort to even contact me - let alone visit).

    I did spend an hour yesterday looking on Job Centre website but I know that whilst I seem to hate the job at the moment that I love the children and have a great working relationship with all of the parents - I just couldn't hand in my notice to them - I need to find a happy medium and not aim for outstanding - trouble is that now that Satisfactory is "requires improvement" how do I know I will even keep my good next time?

    PS: Mine did peel their own satsumas, chop their own bananas and help share out some for the little one today!

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  4. #3
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    I've been having bad and good days for about 8 weeks now (since I took on a lot more children) as someone who has worked with children for the last 14, 15 yrs I thought this job would be a doddle and I get to be at home but actually this is the hardest I've ever worked in my life!!

    Obviously I worked hard before but I was within a team we shared the workload and when Ofsted appeared it wasn't just solely down to me, and when I finished work that was it, work done home to relax with my family. I didn't have to handle all the business side in fact I knew nothing about the business side and now having the responsibility of everything is so much to take on.

    I have good and bad days but there is no doubt that if there wasn't all the needs and wants of Ofsted I would be having the best time, I love working with children and couldn't think of anything else I would rather do but having to strive to be the best is def draining and a lot of hard work!

    Sorry don't have any advice to make it better but just to let you know there are people who feel the same!

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  6. #4
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    Quote
    "This used to be enjoyable, I love kids but now I just look at them as trackers and what's he going to do next? A simple 10 piece jigsaw turns into a observation and can she do a 12 piece next time? Snack time turns into 'maybe they should be cutting their own fruit'. I despise Ofsted and hate what they do and are doing, they are stripping out the enjoyment of looking after children and making it so difficult."

    Oh how l agree with you and l am sure most parents would agree if they knew just how little natural time we get to spend with their children letting them just be children the same as they would be if they were cared for at home.

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    I know how you feel, I've been doing this job for nearly 24yrs and despite having an inspection loomimg (was due one in March) I am trying to remain laid-backed and chilled because I and 'my parents' know just how good a job I'm doing. I've met all the reqs. and feel that I also go beyond that which is needed at times, but I'm not aiming for outstanding as I don't feel that it means anything these days , as it seems that each inspector as their own interpretation on just what the word means, sooooooooooooooo I'm chilled.......................until I get the 'call' xx

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  10. #6
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    Just like hectors house I too feel that I could have written your post. Think it is time to take a stand and put a stop to constantly thinking about next steps and how we are going to achieve them. I don't want my home looking like a nursery and am cutting back on the amount of stuff I have out - when Mrs O comes I will say that the children are happy and progressing, the parents are happy and that I cannot be spending all my time thinking and breathing childminding!

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    Quote Originally Posted by christine e View Post
    Just like hectors house I too feel that I could have written your post. Think it is time to take a stand and put a stop to constantly thinking about next steps and how we are going to achieve them. I don't want my home looking like a nursery and am cutting back on the amount of stuff I have out - when Mrs O comes I will say that the children are happy and progressing, the parents are happy and that I cannot be spending all my time thinking and breathing childminding!
    Well said xx

  12. #8
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    Everytime I send home a LJ the parents say to me "oh what a lot of work" - I know they don't want me to spend all my free time writing about their child and neglecting my husband and own daughter but I am the sort of person who always gives 110% - trouble is I know I am making myself ill and not sleeping properly with worrying about "that" phone call, and that's not going to be helpful for the parents if I am off ill with stress either. It's been 4 1/2 years since my last inspection, so that call could come anytime and I am so bogged down and behind I would be lucky to get Satisfactory.

    Shall we all make a pact to only spend a reasonable time doing paperwork and to try to find time to enjoy our families, friends and try not to live in a Nursery 24/7 - whose in?

  13. #9
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    Sounds good to me Hectors House although I always do my paperwork within work hours because once 6pm comes that's work finished.

    Im just concentrating on what needs to be done and Im not aiming for outstanding at the moment as its making me ill. Im not even due an inspection yet as I had mine last march (2012) but Im always stressing
    Time Out.. The perfect time for thinking about what you're going to destroy next.

  14. #10
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    Wish I could get paperwork done within work hours but I just can't concentrate for long enough without getting distracted, so I do it all in the evenings - my husband is out tonight, so I will prob try to catch up on some observations and crack on with the 2 year development check - I know I write far too much, but feel the examples I have seen wouldn't tell a stranger (the Health Visitor) anything about the development of my mindees - I have done 2 so far - generally took 20 hours each, I am hoping to cut that down to about 10 hours this time, although I do feel that this one has got delays in some areas so need to word sympathetically not to offend parents but clear enough so HV gets the picture. Obviously going to take several evenings this week to get just that done!

    So that is my aim this week to only spend half as long doing a 2 year check.

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  16. #11
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    I have decided to stop cm. handed my parents notice this morning. I am going to apply for a part time job at my sons school as a teaching assistant. The job just came up today as I was looking. It is to work 8:30-13:00 TTO. Don't know if I will get it or if something else will come along but I can not work 60+ hours a week. I know that the money is far less but I started cm to be around for my son. I never spend any quality time with him and just lately I seem to be telling him off all the time. I am ready to have my life and my home back. It is a shame as I worked incredibly hard to achieve my Outstanding but I don't think it's worth the paper it is written in now.

  17. #12
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    I became part of the 'independent group' on Facebook and I have just taken it off because I think a lot of my problems were coming from there. A lot of people with problems and too many pictures of other peoples settings. I was looking at my newsfeed and it was full of posts from the group and I had to filter through it to find friends posts. This was also happening out of work too so I felt it was taking over.

    I know its supposed to be a support group but I think the amount of newsfeed posts was stressing me too. Especially looking at other peoples houses, with all the ideas they had I started to feel a bit inferior even though I'm happy with what I have here.

    I do actually feel better now I've left the group and feel decluttered
    Time Out.. The perfect time for thinking about what you're going to destroy next.

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  19. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by JCrakers View Post
    I became part of the 'independent group' on Facebook and I have just taken it off because I think a lot of my problems were coming from there. A lot of people with problems and too many pictures of other peoples settings. I was looking at my newsfeed and it was full of posts from the group and I had to filter through it to find friends posts. This was also happening out of work too so I felt it was taking over.

    I know its supposed to be a support group but I think the amount of newsfeed posts was stressing me too. Especially looking at other peoples houses, with all the ideas they had I started to feel a bit inferior even though I'm happy with what I have here.

    I do actually feel better now I've left the group and feel decluttered
    Well done for identifying what was tipping you over the edge - hopefully we can give each other a kick up the and carry on doing what we do best without trying to compare ourselves to anyone else - if our parents/customers are happy then that should be enough.

  20. #14
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    I agree with you fully J Crackers, also about the facebook page, it seems to be too much of a competition.

    Funnily enough it comes at a time that I am actually clawing back my home getting rid of lots of wall stuff, plastics and trying to get it to be more "holistic" and natural. Again similar to many of you I am doing this not thinking about OFSTED as I know they probably won't like it.

    I am also finding it difficult to do simple activities such as playdough, painting, garden play without trying to think of an "outcome" or "why are we doing this" and "what can I do to make it better?" instead of "kids are having fun - so what...."

    Last week I didn't bother doing diaries, taking lots of photos, or worrying about outcomes of activities, as I had family visiting from abroad and didn't have time in the evening to do them all (I add in photo's and obs to my diaries as an all in one document), it was a LOVELY week, really relaxed, we did more, I wasn't worried about grabbing the camera to record anything and wasting time during the day or evening doing paperwork. Bliss.

    Lots of empathy here x

  21. #15
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    TBF to the fb page. People are just trying to share their practice with others. Just because its on there doesn't mean that I feel that I have to implement anything however I have taken some really good ideas away and its improved my setting.

    It might not be the page for you if you are feeling disheartened :-).

    Is also a very fast moving and its easier to share photos etc on there.

    You can stop the notifications from coming through and just dip in and out as you need
    When someone tells you nothing is impossible, tell them to go slam a revolving door

  22. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by JCrakers View Post
    I do love my job and have 14 kiddywinks to look after ranging from 14m-10yrs. I started minding in 2007 after being a nanny in London. I received a Good in Aug 2008 and another Good in March 2012. After really, really wanting an Outstanding and not getting it I was knocked back and lost my yearning for a while.
    But about a year later started to want that Outstanding again and I've worked so hard to achieve it. But after working myself to the bone, analysing and thinking about every single thing I do, I'm starting to wear myself out. Not only is it hard enough to work a 10hr day with children, being constantly on the go all day to then finish at 6pm, make tea for my own family and try to get some family time its really taking its toll on me, my patience after work is zero and my own children and dh get the brunt of it.

    Trying to constantly better myself is starting to get to me. I can't just get up in a morning and work, I have to think about what I could be doing better and sometimes I cant think of anything because everything has been thought of. I feel like I'm in a high powered job where I should be bringing in 100k, not 10k, I feel like the pressure is immense and after finishing my SEF, updating 4 LJ's and trackers, making sure my obs are up to date I feel so dragged down.

    This used to be enjoyable, I love kids but now I just look at them as trackers and what's he going to do next? A simple 10 piece jigsaw turns into a observation and can she do a 12 piece next time? Snack time turns into 'maybe they should be cutting their own fruit'. I despise Ofsted and hate what they do and are doing, they are stripping out the enjoyment of looking after children and making it so difficult.
    I don't know if i'm just tired or really fed up of this...... It could be the weather or it could be I had a busy weekend and I'm tired
    Thanks for listening to my moans and groans.
    Come on girl...it is hard and we know it
    I think we all accept changes to our practice but recently what has been coming is a bit of a rollercoaster...too much... too quick ...moving goalposts all the time and the way we are perceived does not help either!
    CMs have had it rough recently but we have stuck it out before and we will again

    Take a look at what you do and if you are happy don't change things just for the sake of it...reflect on what others do but if you are happy do not feel 'undermined'...do not put pressure on yourself...avoid it!
    Choose your source of support carefully and no need to be involved in every forum or whatever just to keep up...sometimes that can be confusing, time consuming and sending you into a spiral of negative thinking.

    Try to cut unnecessary paperwork....cms do far far too much...it really is not required and inspectors do not want to see reams of evidence or thousands of observations...they haven't got the time for that!
    could you cut your working days?
    or limit the number of children you care for?
    could you work term time only?

    DO you need a holiday????...important to take a break from it all and pamper yourself

    Chin up!

    Look at all angles!

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  24. #17
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    I think almost everyone feels like this. But Ofsted are always changing the rules, moving the goalposts and making it harder to get 'Outstanding' and to be honest it doesn't bring more work in. The main thing is to be doing the right thing by the children and the families you care for. Your family needs you as well and running yourself ragged for a low paid job (which in truth it is), is not worth it in the end.
    We can bring back the enjoyment of being with children. We just have to learn to enjoy the moment, try to cut down on our paperwork and stop being so hard on ourselves.

    And this time of year makes everyone down anyway
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  26. #18
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    I definitely have days, weeks etc feeling like this...
    After just getting over a terrible Ofsted I find I'm brushing myself off and coming out fighting...although it does mean a lot of work.
    I constantly strive to be better, do further training, offer a more flexible service, expand activities I offer etc but it all takes time and effort.
    I have to say some days I could have written your post...however I also have days where I can't think of a better job to do.

    Chin up Hun, and try to look on the positive side xx

    Sarah x
    Sarah, Bumble Beez x x

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    I've been guilty of this too, and an now trying to set one improvement every couple of weeks, if I get an idea, I note it but try to stay focused on the current project. It's slowed me down so I'm not so reactive, and some of my great ideas turn out not to be so great when I get back to them!!!

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  29. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by hectors house View Post
    Everytime I send home a LJ the parents say to me "oh what a lot of work" - I know they don't want me to spend all my free time writing about their child and neglecting my husband and own daughter but I am the sort of person who always gives 110% - trouble is I know I am making myself ill and not sleeping properly with worrying about "that" phone call, and that's not going to be helpful for the parents if I am off ill with stress either. It's been 4 1/2 years since my last inspection, so that call could come anytime and I am so bogged down and behind I would be lucky to get Satisfactory.

    Shall we all make a pact to only spend a reasonable time doing paperwork and to try to find time to enjoy our families, friends and try not to live in a Nursery 24/7 - whose in?
    Count me in

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