Am I reading too much into this?

**Memina** · 03-10-2013, 01:39 PM

Im not sure if I'm reading to much into things or if this could be a genuine child protection issue.

I have a little girl who is 3 (4 in Feb) she's been coming for two years now so I know her pretty well however she was taken away to see grandparents from easter to the end of summer this year.

Since being back she has settled well and started nursery with my dd however recently she has been doing some bizzare things and I dont know if I should be worried.

So first her and my dd where playing in the pop up tent. My dd screamed and ran out of the tent. When asked what happened she said x pulled her trousers down and kissed her bum.

Then another day agaib dd ran to me quite distressed (about to puke as she hates being dirty or funny smells) again when asked what happened she said x had kissed her on the lips.

And then on an other day she has wet herself which she hasn't done in a long time approx a year.

And today shes not wearing tights and keepa lying down on her back and her legs opened and trying to put her hand in her knickers. I'm actually sitting in the playroom so have stopped her each time by distraction but now I'm starting to worry.

Now it could be that shes just expressing affection when hugging or kissing but I know from mum that her and dad are having problems at home.

I've been recording these things in my diary but not sure what to think now.

**littlemiss60561** · 03-10-2013, 02:05 PM

Oh bless you. I'd have to phone the advice line ( anonymously if you want) as I would say this could be copy cat behaviour. It may also be innocent but I wouldn't personally want to make a call on that :0(

**smurfette** · 03-10-2013, 02:32 PM

Originally Posted by littlemiss60561

Oh bless you. I'd have to phone the advice line ( anonymously if you want) as I would say this could be copy cat behaviour. It may also be innocent but I wouldn't personally want to make a call on that :0(

Good advice there .,, on their own the latter events may not have been anything but put together I would be a bit concerned. Possibly she has walked in on someone (mum and dad or grandparents) having sex and it is copy cat behaviour but who knows? Better to get it checked out and be wrong than leave something that might need dealing with.. Good luck it's not easy!

**lisbet** · 03-10-2013, 03:04 PM

Originally Posted by littlemiss60561

Oh bless you. I'd have to phone the advice line ( anonymously if you want) as I would say this could be copy cat behaviour. It may also be innocent but I wouldn't personally want to make a call on that :0(

This ^

Also, I'm not sure whether it would fit with the behaviour you've been seeing recently, but just wondering if the visit was to a country where girls can be at risk of female genital mutilation?

**Memina** · 03-10-2013, 03:35 PM

Slovakia not sure if thats particularly popular there.

**lisbet** · 03-10-2013, 03:57 PM

Originally Posted by Memina

Slovakia not sure if thats particularly popular there.

Traditionally Roman Catholic x

**Memina** · 03-10-2013, 04:04 PM

This is the same girl who I posted about two weeks ago when dad was sending an ubknown man to collect her and I refused to let her go.

**jackie 7** · 03-10-2013, 04:08 PM

I would be running targeted advice about this. You will have to give your name and child's name. This does not mean that she will have a visit but it will be recorded and could be a part of a puzzle. I would record it as an incident making sure if is dated and signed.

**Lottie** · 03-10-2013, 04:11 PM

Originally Posted by Memina

This is the same girl who I posted about two weeks ago when dad was sending an ubknown man to collect her and I refused to let her go.

Hmm I'm not sure. It could be innocent or something sinister... I think you've got some good advice already, i.e calling for advice but also make sure you document everything.

**Memina** · 03-10-2013, 04:37 PM

Should I approach mum and speak to her? She's very forthcoming and approachable but how do you mention things like this?

I have documented everything. The child has limited English but understands very well.

Will also seek advice. Thanks m

**shortstuff** · 03-10-2013, 04:40 PM

Originally Posted by Memina

Should I approach mum and speak to her? She's very forthcoming and approachable but how do you mention things like this?

I have documented everything. The child has limited English but understands very well.

Will also seek advice. Thanks m

I would think you should seek the advice before mentioning to mum, the advice you receive will be paramount as if anything is going on mum might be in the know already.

**watford wizz** · 03-10-2013, 04:43 PM

I would be reporting this to appropriate channels better to be wrong than take a risk. You should not approach either parent yourself as if some thing is going on you will alert parents and they will cover up which could include blaming you. Keep your self safe and follow your CP guidance and training.

**Lottie** · 03-10-2013, 04:45 PM

Originally Posted by Gail Tracey

I would think you should seek the advice before mentioning to mum, the advice you receive will be paramount as if anything is going on mum might be in the know already.

Agree, this is what I would do. You can always seek advice anonymously to begin with.

**merry** · 03-10-2013, 05:02 PM

Originally Posted by Memina

Should I approach mum and speak to her? She's very forthcoming and approachable but how do you mention things like this?

I have documented everything. The child has limited English but understands very well.

Will also seek advice. Thanks m

On my latest child protection course they said for all other types of suspected abuse you have to notify parents that you're doing so unless you feel it'll put the child in danger, but for suspected sexual abuse you must not tell the parents before reporting concerns.

**jolliesdean** · 03-10-2013, 05:07 PM

I believe that ringing your local safeguarding team for advise and document there response, then also arrange a meeting with mum and be open and honest regarding her behaviour it could be very innocent. On the flip side can you imagine if mum sees her behaviour and wonders ??? Could accuse you or family members. If handled well with non judgmental and tactful communication you and the mother could work together in ie changing the behaviour and explain it's not right to do this or worse case stop further abuse and protect her.
I worked in community as a nurse and safeguarding was paramount I found that being honest from the beginning with parents about your responsibility to safe guard every child eased any concerns that I had to mention, I have a parents leaflet regarding every child matters that I put in there parent pack with a view that they understand why I would observe and question any worries x