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  1. #1
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    Hi all, I have just taken on a school pick up on a Monday and Friday. Mum and dad came to see me last Friday with their little girl to sign contracts and then decided to tell me afterwards that their little girl had Global Delay. I have never heard of this so was very taken aback but had already agreed to take on the contract so felt duped...during the visit I was asked to take said girl to the toilet and when I tried to help her she began grabbing at my clothes and scratching me. I shouted mum upstairs as I didn't want to have to physically restrain her and she stopped immediately. Mum said she had never done anything like this before and apologised. I put it down to it being daunting for a stranger to take her to the loo. Anyway after this I was extremely nervous as I have a 3 month old baby of my own as well as a 20 month old on the same day so was slightly worried about their safety. when I collected her from school yesterday for the first time the teachers told me about her aggression and that she had slapped a teacher. Apparently parents are already aware of this as its happened on a number of occasions. As it happens although I was on edge for the whole time she was with me there were not actually any incidents....as yet!!!.
    Anyway I guess im asking for a little advice as to how to deal with this situation. I have placed them on a 4 week contract as I do with anyone new. I am now dreading it as I feel completely out of my depth. I want to be able to look after this little girl well but am worried about the other children in my care.
    Any advice would be appreciated!!

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    Firstly, I would question whether I would want parents that continuously lie to me.
    It seems they are keeping a lot from you and need to address this

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    That's a bit sneaky of the parents to withhold that info until contract was signed.....I'd be very nervous too.

    I think it's best to sit the parents down and ask for detailed info about their little girl.....global delay is very broad and different children have different levels of delay although poor communication skills are a common symptom (hence the aggressive behaviour). You don't say how old she is but if she's been formally diagnosed with global delay then she will be on the special needs register at school, probably with a statement which means that various people (e.g. parents, teachers, educational psychologists, behaviour support, speech and language therapists) get together regularly to discuss her needs, progress and strategies to help/support her, all of which is recorded in a legal document (a statement). Parents and school will have a copy of this so if she has one you need to see it. Be warned though, things often sound worse on paper than when you're actually dealing with a real little person! Well, they usually do!

    Even if she doesn't have a statement and is further down the SEN register (I would have thought that the school would at least be working on getting her a statement if she doesn't already have 1) then there will be strategies in place at school to support her so I'd ask for parents permission to discuss her needs with school in detail, if you don't already have permission. You'll get a more honest picture of her needs I would have thought given that parents have already been less than honest.

    I'd also be very honest with parents about how she's getting on; if she's struggling, don't be tempted to make light of it and down play it to parents otherwise they might be less than impressed if you have to terminate.

    Working closely with parents and school will hopefully result in the little girl managing well with you and a good time had by all. If it doesn't work out at least you can say that you've done everything you can to work with the little girl and the family. Good luck!

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    I've never heard of this, it's alarming how many things there are out there that I've never heard of. I've just taken on a bot with noonans, I'd never heard of that either!

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    I wouldn't think to hard of the parents for not mentioning it. They may have had childminders refuse to care for her before because they have mentioned it, or it may be that to them she is just their kid and they forgot she has a label attached to her.
    The lashing out at you in the bathroom may have been a new thing to them, they will be seeing each incident as a separate incident. Lashing out at school in a noisy busy classroom is a world away from lashing out in a quiet one to one environment when parents are just there. To be fair though, it wasn't a great idea for parents to have you, a stranger, take the child to the bathroom in a new environment while they were there. Any kid would find that hard, and scary.
    Just research global developmental delay, there is loads of info and forums out there. Then get to know this kid for who she is, without worrying too much about the label. The label is just there to help you find info that is relevant.
    Don't stress, she's just a little kid who might need a little extra support. You'll be fine.

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    Hmm that's really naughty...If you want out of this, do you have a 4 week settling in clause in your contract or something similar? Or the parents are quite possibly in breach of contract because they only mentioned this after signing, thus deceiving you. So a possible two easy exits if you need to.


    Quote Originally Posted by singingcactus View Post
    I wouldn't think to hard of the parents for not mentioning it. They may have had childminders refuse to care for her before because they have mentioned it, or it may be that to them she is just their kid and they forgot she has a label attached to her.
    With respect, I personally don't agree with that. The op may have no experience at all in this area. The parents should have been honest straight away and allowed the op to make an informed decision before signing any contracts.
    Last edited by Lottie; 17-09-2013 at 09:03 AM.

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    I wonder if they have encountered problems in getting childcare b4 so decided not to mention the full facts. Problem is you have other children to care for and it may be that you cannot provide what is required for the child - meeting asap! Be truthful.....

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    Quote Originally Posted by Samijanec View Post
    I've never heard of this, it's alarming how many things there are out there that I've never heard of. I've just taken on a bot with noonans, I'd never heard of that either!
    I know about GD - dd2 was diagnosed with it as a baby.

    Will post on here when I finish later. And also perspective from parent of sen child and Childcare

    Wibble. Xx
    The bats have left the bell tower.....

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    I wonder if they could help you access some training to prepare you for caring for this child. They really shouldn't have mislead you like that, but you could make things right and move forward with them if they could help you understand their child's needs, honestly.

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    Hellooo!


    Right... I am sat down now with a cuppa.

    Global delay is just what it says. The child is delayed developmentally in all aspects. Physical, learning etc. It can ( in Katie's case) mean the child ends up on the autistic spectrum when older.

    Katie didn't sit up until she was 12 months, stood up at three and walked soon after. Not dry during day until 5 and still wetting at night at 9. No speech until 4...then was babbly. Very aggressive - big sister still has the scars. She is 21 now and fantastic. Lots of physio and speech therapy. Walks, talks, etc etc etc. drives me mad sometimes!! Lol

    I think it's a catch all diagnosis when something specific like autism etc cannot be diagnosed.

    All children are different etc etc

    Now regarding not saying anything....whilst I don't condone what they did, I do understand. With a child like Katie and this child, parents are devastated ....they may think it will all go away ( I have seen this ) or are embarrassed. Or they thought you would get to know the little one and then you wouldn't be put off by her once you got to know her. It is very difficult getting care for children with sen....the older they are the harder it gets. Why do you think I work from home when I have a 21 year old?

    I as a parent of a child with GD would always be upfront. I never held anything from any one. It isn't fair on the potential carer and the child. It was the wrong way and I am sorry this happened.

    I don't know what you are going to do about it but I know it will be the best choice for you as well as little one.... It's not nice feeling led up the garden path.

    Big hugs and wibbly cuddles coming your way

    Wibble xxxxxx
    The bats have left the bell tower.....

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    Hi everyone and thank you for taking the time to reply.
    I have decided to see how we go within the 4 weeks settling in period. I didn't like the fact that parents were sneaky but understand they could have had issues with discrimination before.
    The child in question is actually 4 but has the learning age of a 2 year old according to mum so I will treat her as if she were a two year old and obviously come to get to know her and what she is capable of. I am still very nervous but only because of the aggression side of things as I have other children to consider so find it quite daunting. I couldn't get her to sit and play on Monday she was just stomping around knocking the babies over etc.., this could be due to things being very new so the least I can do is give things a chance. If there are any other issues regarding the aggression I will have to have a think about how to deal with things then. I personally feel she needs a minder who has less children that can give her a little more time one on one but we will see.
    Friday it will just be my 3month old and her so I will be able to spend more time with her.

    Ill keep you posted, thanks again xx

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    Quote Originally Posted by lorraine04 View Post
    Hi everyone and thank you for taking the time to reply.
    I have decided to see how we go within the 4 weeks settling in period. I didn't like the fact that parents were sneaky but understand they could have had issues with discrimination before.
    The child in question is actually 4 but has the learning age of a 2 year old according to mum so I will treat her as if she were a two year old and obviously come to get to know her and what she is capable of. I am still very nervous but only because of the aggression side of things as I have other children to consider so find it quite daunting. I couldn't get her to sit and play on Monday she was just stomping around knocking the babies over etc.., this could be due to things being very new so the least I can do is give things a chance. If there are any other issues regarding the aggression I will have to have a think about how to deal with things then. I personally feel she needs a minder who has less children that can give her a little more time one on one but we will see.
    Friday it will just be my 3month old and her so I will be able to spend more time with her.

    Ill keep you posted, thanks again xx
    oh bless you...you are lovely!
    ANYTHING you need to talk about just pm me....i will support you in this. Mum and dad will love you forever (i still do our old cm and our nanny - they were stars in our eyes)

    big wibbly hugs and lots of love

    Wibble xxxx
    The bats have left the bell tower.....

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    It's a little sneaky to not mention it until afterwards, as previous posts have suggested, it is likely due to the fact that they were refused care by other CM. you have to have a frank discussion with them, as them hard questions, how it will affect your practice, and other mindees. If after that you feel like you don't have the resources, or time to provide this little girl with the best environment possible, you have every right to give them your notice.

    I would be concerned about them withholding truths from you so hold your ground and let them know you are not happy that they did not tell you this beforehand x

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    I remember friends of my parents coming to visit when I was a teenager - the man introduced his daughter to be saying something like "this is Annie, she is retarded"! - (I was a teenager a long time ago - politically correct hadn't been invented) but although I had no experience of anyone with special needs, I remember thinking what an awful way it was for him to introduce her - I would have worked it out for myself.

    Maybe these parents wanted you to meet their lovely daughter and take her for what she is, rather than give her a "label" - I hope your settling in sessions go well but I can understand your concern about the other children in your care.

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    Quote Originally Posted by hectors house View Post
    I remember friends of my parents coming to visit when I was a teenager - the man introduced his daughter to be saying something like "this is Annie, she is retarded"! - (I was a teenager a long time ago - politically correct hadn't been invented) but although I had no experience of anyone with special needs, I remember thinking what an awful way it was for him to introduce her - I would have worked it out for myself.

    Maybe these parents wanted you to meet their lovely daughter and take her for what she is, rather than give her a "label" .
    That's a very good point! X

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    Good luck, I will be thinking of you. And I hope with all my heart that it works out.

    I used to do holiday cover for a little chap with GD. He was easy to deal with to start with (5 yr), but as he got older and bigger it became harder and as my LOs grew they were developing much faster and after 18 mths I had to say to his inclusion officer that I couldn't give him the care he needed without it greatly affecting the rest of the children.

 

 

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