mindee wont stop crying

**serin** · 15-09-2013, 08:11 PM

I have a 12 month old started beginning of September. I expected that over time he would settle but on Thursday he cried the whole day! By the end of the day I was completely worked out and couldnt wait for the day to end. He comes Monday Tues and Thurs so I think not being full time hasnt helped. I am really hoping he is more settled tomorrow! It is so draining and I am wondering whether he will always be a cry baby. I dont know what to do because he is not settling but it would not benefit him if he went to someone else because I really dont think it would make a difference. Also, his mum is a primary school teacher and she cant just stop her job!

**sprinkles** · 15-09-2013, 08:23 PM

Oh gosh, not good

I know how you feel as I had one cry all day for 2 days straight! No help though as I couldn't cope, wasn't eating and was physically drained so ended up giving notice after the second day.

I know what you mean about the not being full time - the one I had was between 1-4 days each week so I felt it was just going to be back to square one each week as he wasn't getting time to get used to me.

I hope tomorrow is better x

**tulip0803** · 15-09-2013, 08:32 PM

I had one last year that came to me for 2 days a week for 6 weeks as a sibling variation before he moved. He screamed at home though too

.

I found that he was happier sat in the pushchair so I used to wheel him around the house. I think he felt safer in there. He also liked being fed so we had lots of snacks

. When I sat on the floor I would start with him on my lap and then between my legs and then to one side with an arm around him. I did get some smiley photos but he was hard work. On the last day of the six weeks (the day they moved) he was so lovely and smiley all the hard work maed that day worth it BUT he had to start again in their new town

**starschildmind** · 15-09-2013, 08:53 PM

Oo i know how you feel

I have a screamer. Ive had him for 8 weeks now. He got really good but he has gone backwards again. Its utterly draining.

I have found what works is a really really strict routine. I do snack time, nappy change. Getting ready to do out all the same, same time. Using the same language

I also found not pushing him to play really really worked i was trying to put him down in front of me and getting him to be interested in play. He just wasnt. So in the end ive started just leaning against the sofa legs out straight and putting him on my legs with my hands on the floor. Within time he just started getting off my lap as i wasnt giving him any attention. (Sounds horrible but really worked) he has come on in leaps and bounds but hes back on tueaday and i do dred it incase its a bad day!!

Good luck xxx

**serin** · 15-09-2013, 09:13 PM

Originally Posted by starschildmind

Oo i know how you feel

I have a screamer. Ive had him for 8 weeks now. He got really good but he has gone backwards again. Its utterly draining.

I have found what works is a really really strict routine. I do snack time, nappy change. Getting ready to do out all the same, same time. Using the same language

I also found not pushing him to play really really worked i was trying to put him down in front of me and getting him to be interested in play. He just wasnt. So in the end ive started just leaning against the sofa legs out straight and putting him on my legs with my hands on the floor. Within time he just started getting off my lap as i wasnt giving him any attention. (Sounds horrible but really worked) he has come on in leaps and bounds but hes back on tueaday and i do dred it incase its a bad day!!

Good luck xxx

I was so drained by the end of it. Usually I try to be positive about how he is settling thinking he will get better over time but on Thursday I was so fed up I sed to the mum yes he did moan and cry ALL DAY! lol I bet she is worried all weekend now bless her. I told her I have moved his bed upstairs to see if hesleeps better because he is a light sleeper and wakes up if the door opens! She seems fine with it. Maybe it will help if he sleeps better. Or pigs might fly...

**jackie 7** · 15-09-2013, 09:58 PM

Why do we have these children. I had such a horrid day on Friday I got loads of wine. Now dreading the morning. He won't /can't sleep by himself. Good luck

**littlemiss60561** · 15-09-2013, 10:24 PM

I had a child scream for weeks. 2yr old. She calmed eventually! Hopefully you will find a certain toy, song, area, trip out. That calms them. Sometimes too much fuss/ stimulation makes it worse. I did have to say in the end that im here for you and would love it if you joined in xyz game and then left her safely and within vision to stop. I over acted how much fun we were a ing and she joined in by around 3 pm!
Good luck. It's tough . HAve they a comforter they could bring from home? Fave toy?

**littlebears1009** · 16-09-2013, 06:11 AM

I too have a 7 month old started last week and screamed all day everyday. He made himself vomit he cried that bad. Nothing settles him, not even the pram or car and he refuses to sleep. Although his mum doesnt help as she tells me its ok not to give him a nap all day hell fall asleep whenever. He has no routine and i am trying to get him in one but i go away for a fortnight in 2 weeks and i know mum wont help me out by trying to stick to the routine. She just trys to blame everything on teething. She had to pick him up early thursday (he only comes mon-thur) as my daughter had a hospital appointment (shes 2 and i struggled for time to take her to the loo he was that hard work) and i couldnt have him in there constantly screaming. She did ask if she could bring him back monday i did say yes but im secretly hoping she doesnt. Im dreading it. If he does the same this week i might have to think about terminating as its not good for my family either. Hope you have a better week this week. My daughter has another appointment today to have her pot off her leg so I am having to take a family member with me in case i need to go off with my screaming mindee! X

**serin** · 16-09-2013, 12:37 PM

Originally Posted by littlebears1009

I too have a 7 month old started last week and screamed all day everyday. He made himself vomit he cried that bad. Nothing settles him, not even the pram or car and he refuses to sleep. Although his mum doesnt help as she tells me its ok not to give him a nap all day hell fall asleep whenever. He has no routine and i am trying to get him in one but i go away for a fortnight in 2 weeks and i know mum wont help me out by trying to stick to the routine. She just trys to blame everything on teething. She had to pick him up early thursday (he only comes mon-thur) as my daughter had a hospital appointment (shes 2 and i struggled for time to take her to the loo he was that hard work) and i couldnt have him in there constantly screaming. She did ask if she could bring him back monday i did say yes but im secretly hoping she doesnt. Im dreading it. If he does the same this week i might have to think about terminating as its not good for my family either. Hope you have a better week this week. My daughter has another appointment today to have her pot off her leg so I am having to take a family member with me in case i need to go off with my screaming mindee! X

Hope your daughter is better soon. I am seriously thinking to terminate the contract. Its hard because I dont want to disappoint them but he is too much hard work. He cries from 8-9:30, has a nap and then cries after that too until the after 12 he calms down.

**KatieFS** · 16-09-2013, 04:47 PM

I think you've done great getting this far. I personally could not handle more than a couple if days of crying, not with my own children and others getting upset with the crying! It's very emotionally draining.
Good luck x

**starschildmind** · 16-09-2013, 07:40 PM

Originally Posted by serin

I was so drained by the end of it. Usually I try to be positive about how he is settling thinking he will get better over time but on Thursday I was so fed up I sed to the mum yes he did moan and cry ALL DAY! lol I bet she is worried all weekend now bless her. I told her I have moved his bed upstairs to see if hesleeps better because he is a light sleeper and wakes up if the door opens! She seems fine with it. Maybe it will help if he sleeps better. Or pigs might fly...

First thing i did with my screamer was sleep train him. Mum rocked him to sleep and i was like noooo wayyy!!! With in three days of hard work he settled himself. He would wake up after half hour but again i was likr noooo wayyy... you wil learn to sleep as i need a break. Now he settles with no crying and sleeps for 2 hours. If he does wake i dont get him up. I settle him back down 9/10 hr goes back to sleep and is much happier in the afternoon. It was also a clear boundry. And i did the same thing everytime. It was lunch, clean hands and face, give his comfort and dummy. Walk up stair. Close curtains put in cot etc ... worked a treat. Just set out really clear boundries and if you think he needd to sleep control cry and stick to your guns as you need a break to

xx

My screamers back tomorrow.. im dreading it strange tho i do love him!!! :-/

**nipper** · 24-09-2013, 11:34 AM

Oh I loved reading this thread...question is what do you do when the screamer is a sibling of an existing mindee (who you have had for nearly two years) and they come four days a week. Thinking to myself I have to make this work.

**AliceK** · 24-09-2013, 11:41 AM

Originally Posted by nipper

Oh I loved reading this thread...question is what do you do when the screamer is a sibling of an existing mindee (who you have had for nearly two years) and they come four days a week. Thinking to myself I have to make this work.

Snap. I'm in the same situation. Had older sibling for 2 yrs, baby sibling on his second week and all he does is cry for 90% of the time. It's starting to affect my other 2 mindees who are 2yr old. I'm not sure I can continue with it for much longer. It's not fair on any of us.

xxxx

**JCrakers** · 24-09-2013, 12:26 PM

I had a sibling baby who screamed for 8 weeks. I tried so hard because she was a sibling who Id had for 3yrs. Sibling was an absolute angel but sister was so different...lol

It is draining. I had to give notice after 8 weeks because I couldn't do it anymore. She went to a nursery for a year, then came back to me because I'd worked with parents for 3yrs and they really wanted her to come to me. She's now 3.5yrs, still a little madam with a will of her own but no more screaming

**ajc** · 24-09-2013, 01:01 PM

I have a sibling screamer too, but mine seems to be more of a "demand" screamer, doesn't get what she wants instantly ie - picked up,fed,got out of buggy then we get the most awful screaming paddy that goes on and on. Mum carries her about all the time she's twelve months and really heavy. I'm finding it do draining and also feel its not fair on the others, so hard when you look after older child.