own children being mean

[Jolen3]

Hoping somebody can help.
My own daughter who is two is being very difficult with the childminder children.
She won't share, shouts at them and won't let them touch anything in the house.
Anybody any advice?
Outside the house she is absolutely fine and enjoys the company.

[adedwards68]

I had this a few years ago with my youngest. He has 3 older brother and sisters and as is quite a lot younger them then. He wasn't spoilt but always had the attention of 5 people in the house.
I was lucky as I was in the position that I didn't have to work so I actually decided to give up minding for a few years, until he was at school. This solution worked for me and I know it's probably not what others would do and can't always financially do. He is now 7 and loves the younger mindees
I know this is probably not the answer to your problem but I just wanted to let you know that your child isn't the only one who behaves like this around mindees. It's very hard when they've got to share you and everything else with other children.

Sent from my iPhone using Childminding Forum

[Smileyface]

Hi I would love to hear people's advice I to have a two year old daughter that is behaving the same

[Kiddleywinks]

What would you do if it was a minded child?

Two year olds are just trying to assert their authority (just a shame they don't realise they don't have any yet )
The best advice I can give is, be consistent. Reinforce that sharing rules are for everyone, and eventually the message will get through.
For when times are really difficult though, you may like this:

Toddler Rules
If it's mine it's mine,
if it's yours it's mine,
if I like it is mine,
if I can take it from you it is mine,
if I am playing with something ALL of the pieces are mine,
if I think it is mine it is,
if I saw it first it's mine,
if I had it then put it down it is still mine,
if you had it then you put it down it is now mine,
if it's in my hand - it's MINE
if it looks like the one I have at home it is mine,
if it looks like mine - it's MINE

Everything else is MINE too!

If it is broken, it is yours.


I always print this off and put it into the child's learning journey when the terrible 2's start (anywhere between 18 months and 18 years )

[Jolen3]

Thanks, I know. It must be so hard for them having to share.
I'm only working until christmas so would like to try carry on until then but have explaineed to the parents that I might have to finish early.

hoping somebody else has any ideas

[Jolen3]

Hahaha! Kiddywinks that's so funny!
Good idea printing it out.

That's a good perspective to think what to do if he was a mindee, sharing is such a hard concept.
Will start a fresh this week with consistancy. Thanks

[*daisychain*]

It's difficult isn't it my DS is three and can be so intimidating to the other children , never the babies though. I think he sees anyone his age or older as a threat, on his territory . I don't treat him the same as the minded children, he's my son, who has to share his mummy, his daddy (my Hubby is an assistant) his house etc.. I understand why he struggles and try to give him some 1:1 time.
So it's understandable why your little one is ok out of the house as that's not 'hers' .I tried all last week for family to take him out to nice places and spoil him a little as he was struggling after weeks of holiday children being here, but he didn't want to go! I guess he saw it as we were trying to get rid of him and have fun with the other children. I'm just hoping it gets better as he gets older and understands a bit better.
The other option would be to have him in nursery all day , and starting childminding was so I didn't have to put him in nursery . Hope things get better for you

[Sarsar3NCH]

My 3 have always struggled with it (now 12,14 &16) but at least now I can explain why I need to work and what the alternatives are and they do understand. Unfortunately none of them are tolerant of the more 'irritating' mindees and even at their ages they can add fuel to the fire. I am very jealous of minders who say that their kids are such a great help and are really loving to the mindees. It's this reason that makes me often want to find another job but after 12 years it would appear I'm unemployable :-(

[JCrakers]

Its hard when other children are coming into their house and touching their things.
What I can suggest is that her own toys are kept just for her. If there is anything she wants to share then that's great SO have toys for sharing and precious toys kept separate.

I always kept my children's toys in their rooms and had big discussions with them how nice it would be if they bought a toy down for all to share but my dd ws 5yrs old.
A 2yr old is a different matter...lol

[TooEarlyForGin?]

It's a lot harder than people think. Most assume its so easy having ready made friends for your own kids, but it doesn't always work like that. My daughters have found it very hard at times over the years, sharing their home, toys and especially mum. My 11 year old is pre-teen and very hard work at the moment, she hates it especially when I show affection to my older mindees who have been with me for years.

My eldest at 16 can look back and understand, and hopefully they will appreciate me being here in the long run.

[DottyD]

My daughter (almost 5yrs) is terrible sometimes. It's more likely to be when I'm looking after older girls.

I don't really have a problem with sharing toys, it's more to do with when they are being imaginative and playing princesses!

I find the best thing to do it keep smiling and tell them to take turns!

[Samantha_j41]

Yes my 2 year old is the same, and ive been working a year. Although she has learnt a few things from the mindees ie. hitting and pushing. Ive currently 3 under 3s so they are all the same everything is mine. I just keep saying no.

I keep all my daughters toys in her bedroom where mindees do not go, and she can go up anytime and after work they all come out.

[donna porter]

Yes my 3 year old is the same with my 19 mth old mindee! Drives me crazy!!!

[christine84]

My 3 year old is like that as well. All the toys are always "hers" . She tries to take the toys from them....