Good food

[charlottenash]

I provide healthy homecooked meals in the evening. Eg spag Bol, cottage pie, mild curry and rice

I have a 3yo who won't eat, only if I give him junk food. Yesterday mum said 'oh he doesn't like the sauce you make so just give him the meat'

I'm not cooking meat separate for anyone if they don't like the sauce, they don't get the meat. It cooks together!

So anyway, this morning we drove past this 3yo old childminders and he said 'oh there is 'bla bla' house, her food was good for me mummy said. I asked what his favourite food was there and he said 'beans on toast' I asked his 2nd favourite 'pizza' and 3rd was chicken nuggets.

I'm just a bit irritated, my son is a fussy eater I know its hard and he will only eat this type of food too, such as pizza etc. he will eat rice and pasta though. But I feel as a childminder I have a responsibility to teach them to healthy eat and the other mindees dive right in and their parents love that they are eating such a wide variety of good food.

Should I allow the 3yo to eat the same food my son does (my son doesn't eat until they go home because I don't want anyone to feel left out) or stick to my guns and put healthy food on his plate?

Also 3yo turned up this morning 'I'm not hungry for breakfast' so I said we would wait 20mins. I find him 5 mins later eating a sweet out of his pocket that mummy had given him! Great! There was one for my son too, so I put this in the boys bag with a note saying my son doesn't eat sweets often so to please refrain from sending them.

Parents are clever people, I don't get it! Not like they are the type to want their kids to eat pizza everyday.

Rant over. Sorry!

[charlottenash]

3yo old childminders*********

[kellyskidz!]

Nope, I did the cooking separate meals thing and it didn't go well.
Kids got jealous (rightly so) and the child I cooked the separate meal for didn't even eat it half of the time anyway!
So I stopped and I admit for nearly a week he ate next to nothing, mum was fine, I think she was glad I was taking charge to be honest because his eating was a joke, only mashed potatoes, beans and quavers.
Mum gave him a variation of these for breakfast dinner and tea everyday
I put his plate of food out with the same food as everyone else, he pushed it away. The other kids got a dessert and he didn't (how mean do I sound lol?!)
I put fresh fruit on the table and those boxes of raisins set out all day so he could eat when he was hungry
Eventually, he did. He's not a perfect eater now but he's a LOT better and tries everything on his plate. Mum gave me a tip on her fees and said she's not embarrassed about going to family meals or anything now so it does work sometimes with perseverance but it was a wobbly week when I thought is he just going to starve and faint or something!?
The things children do! Sometimes it becomes a power struggle and I was determined not to let it, if he pushed his plate away I ignored it because I suspect he was looking for a reaction
Good luck!!xxx

[charlottenash]

But I don't have mums support, clearly shed rather he just ate junk so he is full up because she's paying for it. They do have the option to send their own food so I guess that will be her other option if he doesn't like mine! I still wouldn't feed him a lot of junk if she sends it because I don't feel it's right.

Sticking to my guns it is

[FizzWizz]

It is very difficult with fussy children, especially when they are someone else's as you worry they are hungry without the proper meal.

However, I make it clear that I cook the same healthy meal for everyone each day. I also state that if they want something different for their child then they are happy to provide it as long as it within reason (I have never had to follow this through funnily enough as the meals I provide are included in my fees!)

[Helen79]

I think if the one meal for everyone isn't actually a rule since your own son gets to have a separate meal then it will seem unfair to the parent and mindee that you won't let her son eat what he wants. I think it's unfair on the mindees to say that everyone gets the same meal and you're not going to cook different meals even if you're cooking something that you know that they really don't like, but then cook your own son a separate meal.

Could you do a compromise and not cook meals with sauces when he's there. So things like meat, quiche, fish fingers with veg and potatoes/rice/pasta.

[CLL]

I think if the one meal for everyone isn't actually a rule since your own son gets to have a separate meal then it will seem unfair to the parent and mindee that you won't let her son eat what he wants. I think it's unfair on the mindees to say that everyone gets the same meal and you're not going to cook different meals even if you're cooking something that you know that they really don't like, but then cook your own son a separate meal.

Could you do a compromise and not cook meals with sauces when he's there. So things like meat, quiche, fish fingers with veg and potatoes/rice/pasta.

If her son eats when mindees have gone home I don't see a problem with this. I don't make my family eat the same meals as mindees, we eat a fresh home cooked meal after they have all gone. A nursery or school would not cook a separate meal without the sauce for fussy eaters either, and they have kitchen staff. My son is a fussy eater so I give him a packed lunch. I would discuss it with mum, if she wants to send a healthy home cooked meal for you to heat up or a healthy packed lunch then I would do that.

[jackie 7]

This made me think about my policies. I don't have a healthy food policy. I do cooked lunch and tea will be things like sandwiches eggs toast fish fingers etc. will try home made pizza after my holidays.

[charlottenash]

My son doesn't eat when they are here because I agree it isn't fair and I like to sit down and eat with him to have a chat about the day etc.

I can bring my sons dinner time forward and feed this 3yo the same as my son, but I don't think it's right. What my son eats is my choice as a parent, what mindees eat is a professional decision and I advertise a healthy wide range of foods.

I won't be changing my own dinner to exclude things mindees don't like such as sauce that's for sure! It's one way or the other, and I think I will stick to my healthy eating.

[charlottenash]

I think if the one meal for everyone isn't actually a rule since your own son gets to have a separate meal then it will seem unfair to the parent and mindee that you won't let her son eat what he wants. I think it's unfair on the mindees to say that everyone gets the same meal and you're not going to cook different meals even if you're cooking something that you know that they really don't like, but then cook your own son a separate meal.

Could you do a compromise and not cook meals with sauces when he's there. So things like meat, quiche, fish fingers with veg and potatoes/rice/pasta.

No I could not change my meal to fish fingers, quiche or plain meat. This is what me and my family have to eat, and I won't stop cooking beautiful meals to suit one child. It's these meals, or unhealthy food. Simple. I feel unhealthy meals is unprofessional.

[supermumy]

I'm confused and sorry of this comes wrong?

1. Mindee has to eat dinner alone? As you and ur own son eat t different time
2. Ur ok to cook your son pizza fish fingers ect but expect mindee to eat home cooked food when he doesn't even eat sauce etc at home?

Maybe I've read it wrong? Sorry if I have I'm cooking myself at same time


Fish fingers etc can be a good dinner balanced with a little veg or salad or salad on side

[kellib]

Fish fingers, pizza etc don't have to be unhealthy, you could make your own if you feel that strongly about it. Mindee could help which might encourage him to eat more, I always find that when my mindees help to make lunch/dinner they always eat more of it because they made it

[FussyElmo]

I'm confused and sorry of this comes wrong?

1. Mindee has to eat dinner alone? As you and ur own son eat t different time
2. Ur ok to cook your son pizza fish fingers ect but expect mindee to eat home cooked food when he doesn't even eat sauce etc at home?

Maybe I've read it wrong? Sorry if I have I'm cooking myself at same time


Fish fingers etc can be a good dinner balanced with a little veg or salad or salad on side

The way Im reading it is that all the mindees eat together and then they as a family sit down and eat.

[Bumble Beez]

The way Im reading it is that all the mindees eat together and then they as a family sit down and eat.

That's how I read it too Fussy x
I tried all eating together and I found it didn't work as my boys wanted to sit down and eat with just me and dad so we eat slightly later.

Sarah x

[jackie 7]

That is how i read it. It is family time. Very important.

[kellyskidz!]

The way Im reading it is that all the mindees eat together and then they as a family sit down and eat.

Yeah I read it that way too.
We do the same as a family, the kids have a cooked lunch and light tea, then my partner comes home from work and cooks us our family tea for me, him and our daughter, (yes he's an alien lol)
My daughter doesn't eat with the other kids when they have their tea but she does usually sit with them and have a drink or some raisins
It works that way for us and I wouldn't change it to suit a fussy eater, family meals are important and since my oh is already at work when we have breakfast and lunch, and my dd is at school for lunch dinner time is our time to chat and catch up on each others day.
My mum always put emphasis on eating together once a day and I do too

[Amandak28]

I would try making your own chicken nuggets and fish nuggets they are healthy eps as its one or two ingredients.. And you can use salmon and mackerel both oily fish full of the omega vitamins.

Just make your own sweet potato or carrot wedges to go with it.

How about looking to change your menu for a week and see how it goes? There is lots of things you can do without a sauce.
Roast chicken, roast gammon. And probably healthier then things that are processed.
If its just the sauces causing issues isn't it better to stop using them for a week just so you can see if infact its that or something else?

Worth exhausting all possibilities i think. Mum might not have to be so sly then?
Compromise can sometimes be a good thing :-) xx

[Helen79]

Parents are clever people, I don't get it! Not like they are the type to want their kids to eat pizza everyday.

I don't get why you're being so critical of them as parents when it's exactly what you're doing with your own son. As a mum who has a fussy eater who eats a different meal to the rest of the family everyday and eats the same type of food as the mindee you might be a little more understanding to their situation.

I think if you're so against changing your meal plans to include his genuine likes and dislikes then it's probably best to tell mum that you can't provide him with an evening meal and for her to feed him once he gets home.
It's so difficult to cater for a child who is fussy but mum has told you that he will eat meat just not in a sauce. Many children don't like sauces on food or food that's mixed together. You're not going to be able to please every child every night with a meal e.g I make peas and carrots, some kids will eat the carrots, some will only eat the peas and some will eat or none but they have a choice, if he really dislikes sauce on food then he isn't even able to pick the bits that he does like out.

I wasn't suggesting that you change your total meal plans but maybe just some nights of the week. There's plenty of healthy meals that don't include sauces. If you're doing a chicken curry, once you've fried the chicken then just take a small portion out before you add the sauce and serve it plain with some rice for him or with a cottage pie just take some of the mince out before adding the gravy and save some of the mash before putting it on the top.

If your own child was going to a childminders what would you like them to do with mealtimes if they're fussy and don't like the childmninder's food? Would you hope that they might be a it flexible with meals to include your child's likes/dislikes.

[supermumy]

I don't get why you're being so critical of them as parents when it's exactly what you're doing with your own son. As a mum who has a fussy eater who eats a different meal to the rest of the family everyday and eats the same type of food as the mindee you might be a little more understanding to their situation.

I think if you're so against changing your meal plans to include his genuine likes and dislikes then it's probably best to tell mum that you can't provide him with an evening meal and for her to feed him once he gets home.
It's so difficult to cater for a child who is fussy but mum has told you that he will eat meat just not in a sauce. Many children don't like sauces on food or food that's mixed together. You're not going to be able to please every child every night with a meal e.g I make peas and carrots, some kids will eat the carrots, some will only eat the peas and some will eat or none but they have a choice, if he really dislikes sauce on food then he isn't even able to pick the bits that he does like out.

I wasn't suggesting that you change your total meal plans but maybe just some nights of the week. There's plenty of healthy meals that don't include sauces. If you're doing a chicken curry, once you've fried the chicken then just take a small portion out before you add the sauce and serve it plain with some rice for him or with a cottage pie just take some of the mince out before adding the gravy and save some of the mash before putting it on the top.

If your own child was going to a childminders what would you like them to do with mealtimes if they're fussy and don't like the childmninder's food? Would you hope that they might be a it flexible with meals to include your child's likes/dislikes.

I've got to agree

[karensmart4]

I think you have to look at it from the point of.... if it were your child going to a cm and what rules were being impemented! would you be happy if they gave your child food that he doesn't like each day!!

I'm not picking on you but I think you should look at the wider picture

My son was a fussy eater and a friend of mine tried to get him to 'man up' when he wouldn't eat scouse... my son never wanted to go to their house again, he was 5yrs old and he's 26 now and still remembers it!

I would rather find things that he does like and do a healthy version.