Trouble brewing

[Lorna45]

Bear with me this is a bit long winded, after school I had 4 9 year old boy minders and my 9 year old DD quite an easy time I bet you all think and you would be right till one parent came to pick up, she had called a head saying she was in a hurry could the boys be ready at the door so they were all ready when she arrived only for her to say I will have to wait here a few minutes change of plan with the boys dad. The boys went back outside to carry on playing and as I was getting the register for her to sign them out she looked out of the kitchen window and next minute she was going out shouting at one of the other mindees saying I'm not having that as I went out to find out what was going on apparently one boy had stuck his tongue out at her son, and she was shouting at him I then asked her to stop and told her to come back inside with her boys where I asked what had happened and they said S had pulled his tongue out, I asked if he was hurt and he said no I asked the other boy to appolagise he did then as I led her and the boys to the front door I told her that it wasn't her place to shout at any child in my care that as soon as she had seen it she should have told me so I could deal with it, after her shouting at me saying she pays me to look after her children , with which I answer I do look after her children she pushed the boys in the car who by now were looking upset I asked her to come back in and talk about it but she just got in the car and drive off. I don't know what to do I quietly informed the other parent on there arrival and they agreed they didn't want a parent taking charge, what do I do next contact the mother do I need to do an incident form. I am feeling vey hurt and miserable I have done a lot for this mother and her boys. Sorry for any mistakes trying to type it on my phone without my glasses don't know where they are

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[yummyripples]

I would do an incident form but there again I do incident forms for too many things lol!
If the mum won't speak to you about the matter I would put it in a letter and give it to her. Copy the letter for your records.
Cos I am ott I would review my discipline/behaviour policy and state that only you can discipline children when parents are not there.
I would also add it to my sef

[EmmaReed84]

All because a child stuck his tongue out... are you serious!!!

I would definitely be writing a letter to the parent tell her it is completely unacceptable behaviour and I would be asking how she would feel if a parent shouted at her children.

I would also consider giving her a warning that if that behaviour happens again then I would have to seriously consider terminating the contract!

Sorry, but what a total fruit loop... she would love it at my setting, we are all forever playing and poking our tongues out LOL

[Twinkling Stars]

It sounds a bit over the top what she did. She must of had a bad day!

[FizzWizz]

Poor you! Does sound very OTT and she may just have been having a very bad day. I would make sure everything was written up in detail ASAP while it is still fresh in your mind. Personally I would not write her a letter as I think it aggregates things, I would judge my next move based on her behaviour when she comes in next time, you may find she is apologetic (fingers crossed!)

[Lorna45]

Thanks everyone I have logged the whole event and guess all I can do is wait and see what tomorrow brings x THANKS again

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[westbrom44]

I think the problem is that some parents find it acceptable for their children to stick tongues out and others don't. I don't think it is this parents place to tell the other children not to. I cant say that I would react strongly as I have seen parents do it themselves!

[Samijanec]

The tongue thing is neither here nor there, it's the shouting at some one else's child that's the issue, children will be children but adults should never act like this. You need to tell her that in future she has to stay at the door when collecting children as you are there to protect all the children in your care and cannot have a aggressive force within your setting!

[blue bear]

Re visit your risk assessment about children being left with sn adult who is not. CRb checked. I always find it tricky when a parent comes in and have to take the children with me because of the risk that a parent may do or say something inappropriate.
No she should not have shouted and certainly she should not have opportunity to do so again.

[EmmaReed84]

The tongue thing is neither here nor there, it's the shouting at some one else's child that's the issue, children will be children but adults should never act like this. You need to tell her that in future she has to stay at the door when collecting children as you are there to protect all the children in your care and cannot have a aggressive force within your setting!

Absolutely agree with this!

I still can't get over her reaction just for a child sticking their tongue out!

[Lorna45]

Re visit your risk assessment about children being left with sn adult who is not. CRb checked. I always find it tricky when a parent comes in and have to take the children with me because of the risk that a parent may do or say something inappropriate.
No she should not have shouted and certainly she should not have opportunity to do so again.

Hi Blue bear in answer I didn't leave her with them we were both in the kitchen the children were all outside she just happened to look out of the window as the child stuck his tongue out ( unbelievable ) but she is Crb checked she works at the infant school she is a mid day assistant and helps in the classrooms x

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[karensmart4]

Her reaction was ott as others have said perhaps she'd had a stressfull day and this small thing topped it off. I would of thought she would have text or phoned you with an apology before coming today.... at least apologise today If she doesn't it could lead to an uncomfortable working relationship.

Let us know what happens today ((( poor you))) and poor child that got shouted at

We often sing Teasing Mr Crocodile, the children love it because they can be 'rude' !

[Lorna45]

Received a phone call this morning of said mum all bright and breezy wondering if the children will be having the paddling pool out after school today, she wanted to know whether to pack swim stuff. Unbelievable I said we needed to talk about yesterday she said " don't worry about it I know you were probably stressed and hot well just forget it", I said unfortunately we do need to talk about it as it involved a mindee and I need to make sure it never happens again, her response was ok if you think it that important if I have time when I pick up, I'm fuming

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[jackie 7]

If this m thinks it is acceptable to shout at other children it would make me question how she treats her children. I would be reming her that if is a safeguarding issue and if it happens again you will have to inform ofsted and l c b. she could loose her DBS. I would have asked boy why he stuck his tongue out.

[bunyip]

Hi Blue bear in answer I didn't leave her with them we were both in the kitchen the children were all outside she just happened to look out of the window as the child stuck his tongue out ( unbelievable ) but she is Crb checked she works at the infant school she is a mid day assistant and helps in the classrooms x

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In that case I'd ask her what her school's policy is on that kind of thing.

Would school be happy with her shouting at a pupil?

Would she (or her school/employer) be happy about a parent walking in and shouting at another pupil?

She should come round here and listen to us burping the alphabet.

[vikiwizz]

I would ask her how she would feel if another parent shouted or for that matter if you shouted at her children?

[kellyskidz!]

Oh my god. What is wrong with people lol!
Use the anger your feeling as adrenaline to tell her off, calmly, obviously
Tell her under no circumstances is she EVER to discipline any child in your care, like she said you're 'supposed to be looking after these kids' so look after the one she shouted at.
She's an adult for goodness sake, and to be honest, someone sticking their tounge out is pretty standard behaviour for kids, she needs to get a grip on reality.
Show her the incident form and make sure she knows you're taking it very seriously. What if the other parent issued a complaint about this woman shouting at her child (not being funny but I would, no adult disciplines my child apart from my family and anyone who I've asked to care for them, not some random woman)
I feel sorry for the kid who she shouted at, she was totally out of order! I think I'd understand more if this kid had hit or bit her child and instinct is to be cross, but sticking their tounge out at him, my god!
Don't let her make you feel your in the wrong, she is. And give her a copy of the incident form to sign and tell her that its being taken seriously.
Like you said you've done a lot for her so its time she respected you and your setting and realised she can't do things like that or show her the door x