Childminding for Children's Friends?

[js1976]

My son is starting school in September and I have been approached by the parents of his best friend to look after him after school.

So far I have avoided looking after my own friend's children and am not sure whether to take him on. Seem to be getting a lot of enquiries at the moment so not too worried about filling the space if I don't take him on.

Basically I think this could either be brilliant for my son or a bit of a nightmare. Anyone have experience of this / advice?

Thanks

[Mrsh3103]

I mind my ds' best friend 1 day a week 3-6. It's good for my ds, he enjoys having him here. It's made it very difficult for me on that day though as I've got 2 other schoolies. Only best friend is allowed in ds room (his rules) this then makes the others play up because they want to go up too. So then I have a grumpy ds & best friend because they have to play downstairs.
I think 1 at a week is enough, I doubt they'd be best friends for much longer of he was here more often.

[Koala]

When my son went to primary, I would look after a child/friend in his class before and after school, at first it was ok but it didn't turn out well.
I would steer clear of friends, family and also friends of own children. It can get a bit familiar and familiarity can breed contempt, it could ruin a friendship.
I would stick to having him over on a best friend basis. But if you want to look after him professionally there is nothing to stop you and it could turn out fine but is it worth the risk? good luck.

[winstonian]

When I first started minding I took on a little girl who was a very similar age to my daughter, they also started school nursery together and quickly became best friends. This was fine until they went into reception. The little girls mum almost presumed my daughter was employed to look after her daughter. So if my dd was invited out to tea on a night her daughter was attending there was all sorts of unhappiness and yet some nights she would just stick her head out of the door(she worked at the school) and say "Oh X doesnt want to come to yours tonight so I will just keep her here"! result my dd was upset. She reduced her hours down and I eventually gave her notice (first time I had ever done it). The girls stayed apart for a while but are now best buds again and we are happy to have her round but on friends rules not mindees.
That said I have 5 children (including 2 girls, big yuck for lots of 9yr old boys) out of my ds year, have had them aged 7 until now 9.5 and he has taken it all in his stride. likes having them here, doesnt mind if they dont come, plays with them at school or doesnt, he is a chilled dude tho

[bindy]

I decided not to take on my friends child.

[kellyskidz!]

I've picked my dd4 and her best friend up from school for almost a year and its been fine. Great actually as they get on well, they do have their spats like they would at school but I stay out of it and its sorted out between them in ten mins!
They're much closer than any other children I've seen in their class as in Recpetion theyre still a little young for proper best friends, but they also have separate friends so they're not stuck to each other.
I would definitely do it again because its just been like her having a friend over for an hour after school everyday, they go and play in her room or make their own garden games up while I give the baby mindee her tea and put her down for a nap. Not saying it will be as easy as I've had it but I've had no complaints and haven't got anything negative to say about minding a child's friend xx

[doris127]

I started minding a girl my dd's age when they were just turned 3 and they started nursery together

[doris127]

Damn phone!!! as I was saying.... I have photos of them starting nursery together, then p1 together and 3 weeks ago I got a photo of them finishing primary together. They are now both ready to start the grammar. Mum and I have become great friends too. Mindee is like my daughter now. They live in the same street and 10 minutes after she's left for the day she'll be back to play. There have been a few times where they've wanted their own space but they're like sisters and it soon passes. Mum and I are both pretty relaxed about it so its worked really well for me. I thought I would be losing her now she's heading to the grammar but child has decided she's not ready to leave me yet so she'll be with me a bit longer!!

[Kiddleywinks]

I look after my niece, and made it absolutely clear that there was a family connection, but also a professional one, and if either of the two became compromised, I would terminate immediately. Touch wood, it has worked out so far, and the lines haven't got blurred.

If you aren't friends with the mum of your DS's friend, then there is no reason really why it should create a problem as it would be a professional relationship from the start.
If you are friends with mum, then make it absolutely crystal clear where the line is, and be firm straight from the off, particularly if mum tries to take advantage.

I have friends with school age children, and I know that with one of them our friendship would be ruined if I took her on as a client as she is pants with timekeeping and money (I love her dearly though lol) - so would refuse without hesitation should she ever ask

[LauraS]

I have been asked to mind friends of my daughter's twice. The first time I agreed, but it didn't work out (before she even started coming, at the signing contracts stage!).

The second time was for dd's very best friend. I decided not to mind her officially because I didn't want to sour the relationship with the parents or between the girls, but I have her three days a week without money or contracts or paperwork being involved. Obviously I still work within my numbers and count her there, etc.

I also mind for family but wouldnt do so again, its too hard.

[tulip0803]

I used to mind 3 of my daughters friends after school and it worked very well. They all got on they all discussed what they wanted to do when they got home. Must say they were the best after schoolies I have ever had

[js1976]

Thanks for all the different perspectives.

I'm not particularly friends with the mum so not worried about that. More that my son might be a bit young to understand the difference between someone coming over to play and being a mindee. Like why doesn't my son get invited to his friends house and he always comes to ours.

Also my son is quite shy and he and this boy are pretty inseparable anyway so it would hit him hard if the friendship suffered.

Aargh! Confused as I'm sure he'd love having him and would make a change from the majority of my mindees who are mostly younger girls.

Perhaps I should tell the mum about my concerns a suggest a longer settling in period to see how it goes.