Just beginning and getting annoyed at remarks already!!

[amylouise867]

Hey all

I had my childminders briefing yesterday and absolutely loved it!!!

I am looking forward to next stage in August.

I had a BBQ with some family last night and they began asking me about how today had gone.

I started talking about the briefing- costs of setting up, recommendations for advertising, some activity ideas, planning, learning journals, public liability, ofsted etc and I said to my mother in law "Actually at the briefing there was someone there you know from years ago..."

I said who and her reply was "how odd!! why don't they get a proper job and go and earn proper money".

She then commented "and just like JD (her sister who is a business woman) most people in business claim back this and that through tax it's awful and not morally right. Claiming wear and tear on a carpet, pffft." she continued and my blood was pretty much at boiling point but I didn't show this as I didn't want her to see she had got to me as much as she had and put others into a very awkward situation.

My reply was polite (suprizingly) but after I had said what I needed to say I walked off and went into my house.

It's caused a big upset to be honest as I was so full and all this and to have someone close to home pass such comments is what I feel disgusting and ignorant so the BBQ pretty much ended there!

If she feels its not a proper job and proper money for them she obviously feels ye same for me!!

I was livid!!

I really don't know what's the matter with people these days! Seems like everyone has a problem seeing others get on in life and succeeded in doing something that want/love to do!!
Appears like she is very jealous!!

We work with children because we are caring, kind, patient and passionate about being a part of their story, making things exciting for them and watching them develop which we all find rewarding more than we could ever express!
It's not easy but we wouldn't expect/want it to be. Raising children of the future is a privilege & a great responsibility that brings joy and happiness to us all.

How dare she or anyone be so blatantly rude!!!

[stargazer1]

Welcome to the world of people and their ridiculous comments. I've had all sorts - one lady, who was a friend of mine said to me one day 'it must be lovely to be able to stay at home all day with your son and get paid to play all day with a few others'. Yep, cos that's all I do!! Some people just don't think, and likewise I think just don't understand what we do. Luckily, there's just as many people tell me I need a medal as tell me I need to get a 'proper job'.

Xxx

[AgentTink]

im sorry to say this amy, but these comments are all too common, and i would like to say family dont say things like this but there quite a few threads were childminders own partners have the same opinion. You need to build a thick skin to these type if comments, and dont let it bother you. Once your working you can then go on about the positives, which is my way to rise above it ie - best job in the world playing with children in the garden in this weather, love time to myslf each afternoon while my mindees sleep for 2 hours, love going to groups and softplay and spending time with my own little girl, etc

Luckily my partner is fab, and is always praising my dedication and if anyone says anything he is the first to bite back meaning I dont have too

[Mouse]

You will never change people's minds, so don't stress about it.

I have run a very successful business for years, but still get the comment - do you think you'll ever get a proper job? I usually say no, why on earth would I want to change career now. I earn good money, I'm my own boss & I have the freedom to do what I want. When the weather is like this, I say how I would hate to be stuck in an office all day (or wherever they work) and how lucky I am to be able to spend my day in the garden, with my feet in a paddling pool while earning money. I tend to do a little snigger at them being stuck indoors all day!

My advice would be to be truly proud of what you do. It really doesn't matter then what other people say

[Mrsh3103]

My mother in law is just the same. You will need thick skin in this job I'm afraid!
The thing I find most annoying is when mil calls me a babysitter .

[JCrakers]

Yes ive had many comments. Its the one part of my job that I absolutely hate

[kellyskidz!]

It's ignorance, they just don't know what we do so they assume.
I really would love to swap jobs with some of these people for a day or two, see how much 'playing' they do when faced with 3 under 5s, nappies, crying, tantrums, observing, planning activities, keep children safe, assessing and monitoring their development, school runs, meal times, snack times, nap times, risk assessing. And these are things we do without even thinking!
You can't change what they think though so just keep doing what you did with the added words, And thats why YOU could never do it, you just dont understand the level of intelligence you need to have to aid child development. I'd be tempted to add 'it takes a lot of knowledge and brains and generally being a caring person too' lol. Dont worry, she's made herself look stupid not you xx

[shortstuff]

The thing I find most annoying is when mil calls me a babysitter .

mine too lol although she thinks its great x

I have a great big smile on my face when i hear comments like that and normally respond with some sarcastic comment.

I normally smile and ask if they would like to join me as my assistant for a day and see how many cups of coffee i actually manage to drink while a reasonable temperature. Or how long it takes me to actually make it to the toilet when I have waited for my place in the queue.

Or if im feeling particularly cheeky i would agree and say yeah how jealous are you? stuck doing ***** while I play and enrich the lives of our future generation.

[ziggy]

I was deputy manager of a large nursery and after school club before I moved here.

Realised this morning I am earning alot more than I did and I'm my own boss, dont have half as much paperwork, so I dont give a damn what anyone thinks or says, I love my job.

Just gonna sit outside patio door and read in sun while mindees sleep till 4pm, not many jobs where I could do that

Just ignore them and enjoy your new adventure xxx

[Bumble Beez]

I've been called a 'glorified babysitter' been told I'm just 'pretending to run a business' and asked 'why don't you get a proper job? etc so it's nothing new and please don't let it get to you

I also got remarks such as 'cant believe I have to go to work all day and you get to swan about at home...and get paid!' That one was like a red rag to a bull lol...

And at a preschool I collected from (graded outstanding I might add) when I asked if I could add something to the child's LJ I was greeted with 'but you're just a childminder...why do you want to do that?' nothing like working alongside other settings hey?!

I'm immune now and just go along with it!

Sarah x

[Chatterbox Childcare]

This type of comment goes with the job and you do get to be thick skinned.

If you MIL used to do this type of job she probably did earn pin money because years ago it wasn't a profession. Give her time and she will see the other side

[loocyloo]

My mil also wonders out loud when I'm going to get a proper job ... I've been in childcare ever since she's known me. .. Over 20 yrs !
She does however know how hard I work as if ever here when I'm working moans that I never have time to sit down and chat or to make let alone drink a cup of tea!

[sarah707]

I love the looks I get when I'm out with 4 or 5 different ages / hair colours / clearly different families! I find it hilarious

[bindy]

I used to be a nanny for many years before coming a childminder. I was shocked at how little respect childminders got, even more shocked when a friend, who was also a childminder, introduced me to some mothers at a school, saying " This is my friend (name) she is a childminder too, but don't worry she's not like the other childminder" I thought, what is all that about! I decided there and then, to keep myself to myself, do my job to the best of my ability and not worry what anyone thought of me! It was such a contras coming from a job where everyone wanted to be my friend(well known family)

[munch149]

Even my oh acts like I sit round watching telly all day. It really gets to me when his excuse for doing nothing on an evening is that he's been working hard all day. Uh well so have I

[blue bear]

I once had an expectant mummy come to see me, I said something about when I'm working..... And she said but you don't work do you, you are just here playing all day.(and no it wasn't meant as a joke)
Funny enough I didn't have a place for her in the end and when lo was two she was back again begging me to take lo on as she was so hard work other childminders couldn't cope, "oh no sorry I'm full"with a lovely sweet smile.
What goes round comes round, let it wash off you.

[Daftbat]

I am sorry that your MIL seems such a horrid person, you should expect to get support from your own family at least!

On a positive note I have to say that I have never actually, in 14 years, come across anyone saying directly to me that they don't see my job as a proper one. In fact its completely the opposite that I get. People constantly sympathise with how difficult my job can be and don't think that they could do it. I suspect the people who comment negatively are just put out that they didn't think about doing a job which works brilliantly with bringing up your own children as well as bringing in an income.

Take no notice - the job is brilliant most of the time especially when we can be out on a picnic rather than stuck in the office like the negative commentators probably are!!!!

[Kiddleywinks]

As others have said, you develop a thick skin when presented with 'ignorant' remarks from people that do not have the first idea about a. running their own business, and b. the rules and regulations we have to follow.
You could try and 'educate' them by remaining calm and explaining what your day actually entails, but I've found that the majority of people prefer their own view rather than the truth. It seems to make them feel better to stay in blissful ignorance, which is fine by me.

When I was employed, I worked long hours, had a high enough wage to be ineligible for working tax credits or help with my childcare bill, during the week saw my own children fleetingly whilst getting them ready for the childminders in the morning and getting them ready for bed of an evening, had to fight my employers and put up with 'the looks' from my co workers when I had time off when they were ill, at weekends spent very little quality time with them due to either sleeping, or doing housework, washing, etc, was always skint - lived life on the breadline DESPITE being a working single parent, could only afford a camping holiday - good job we love camping , spent a fortune on cars (had about 7 cheap ones in 3 years as it was cheaper to buy another 'run around' than repair them when they broke), never had enough funds to have 'treats' and generally didn't enjoy life due to the stresses.

Since becoming self employed, I am earning far less than I was, but we now have a 'new' car (only 6 years old), are going on an all inclusive abroad holiday, have new clothes in the wardrobe, I can treat my kids to the cinema or bowling or even a takeaway if I want to, I see them off to school, I'm here for them when they return, my bills are all clear and paid on time, I'm no longer robbing Peter to pay Paul, I'm still working long hours, but I am far less stressed, I now have savings - yes, money I've managed to put away for a rainy day! and we now have a quality of life we enjoy that we just didn't have before.

Let them keep their opinions, I know which side of the fence I'd prefer to be on

[lynncjt]

I love the looks I get when I'm out with 4 or 5 different ages / hair colours / clearly different families! I find it hilarious

Me too! I was out yesterday with 5 kids - only 4 years between them all and skin tones ranging from very light to very dark. I could just see people looking at them and then me and back again!

[bunyip]

My reaction to nosey-parker comments like the BBQ MIL is that I'd have to care about her opinion before I could let it bother me.

"Don't argue with idiots because they drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience." - Grey King