Sixth sense in childminders?
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  1. #1
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    Default Sixth sense in childminders?

    Does anyone else get this, I don't want to sound picky or rude but sometimes when a parent phones to enquire about places I get a 'feeling'
    I'm not judging AT ALL but today I had this answerphone message from a woman who sounded half asleep
    Hiya I wanna place for my kid but I don't wanna be paying loads. I've gotta sort out with my dole money and money from his dad what gets paid and then I'll sort it with you. He's 2 and can be a handful. I'm not sure what days I want, probably a monday and wednesday but I'll be dropping him off about 11am and not sure what time I'll be picking up, it might be different on different days. Can you ring me back on this number ***** or this one *** or maybe this **** and tell me how much you charge and if theres a discount. Cheers bye.
    As soon as I played back the message I got a red flag, and I really don't want to be rude but I immediately thought 'no way.' Does anyone else have this?! I'm not being a snob I promise, as I'm very aware that rich/posh people can be just as dodgy with payments etc, I just wanted to see if I was the only one making snap judgements and if it might actually be damaging my business, as she may be the loveliest woman ever and pay every week on time for all I know!

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    I've always had is. Can usually tell on the phone and always in first interview whether you will click with someone. I recently agreed to meet a mum I instinctively knew just wouldn't be a fit, and at the meeting was proven 100%. Likewise spoke to another that I really couldn't tell on the phone, but just by walking in the door knew they were right to fit in my business/our home. Definitely instinctive!

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    Had this! Not had is!

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    You know I was single mum didn't work and had a fully disabled child, I paid for a childminder for my youngest about 1 then as she was very clingy, and I could go shopping with a wheelchair and a baby if my disabled was ill , my daughter was good as gold , and it helped her along for school getting away from me,

    She does sound red flag but you can't judge, my sister is loud mouth sounds like this women said her son was a handful but he wasn't, she didn't like him making a mess and touching anything all she did was shout at him, while she stayed at mine I wanted to scream at her ,she went out left me with him I got a box of toys emptied it on floor and he looked at me in shock, he had a great time till she came home and screamed at him for making a mess ,in all that time I was looking after him he was good as gold,

    So you just don't know she may need the break but he could be good, or really a pain in the backside....and you do chat rubbish when on a answering machine lol ring her again anyway and see if she can explain her self better...

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    Yes I would like to stress I'm not judging the parent in the post, I just believe you can get a feel who will fit

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    I get the 6th sense thing too, though as you say - not necessarily anything to do with the income or social profile. It often relates to my golden rule: never look after a child unless the parent cares for it at least as much as I do.

    It's weird cos blokes aren't supposed to be intuitive (most blokey 'gut-feelings' are entirely ale-induced. )

    I also benefit from the constant presence of the Childminder's Guardian Angel who seems to sort a lot of the wheat out from the chaff for me. You know that feeling when you think an enquirer is going to be absolutely perfect; then you're devastated cos they sign with another CM or nursery; then you finally see what they're really like and realise you just dodged a bullet? Yeah - that one.

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    Glad it isn't only me, I would hate to be judged by my pha single voice (or even by this forum post, I'm a really nice person, honest!) but it IS those first impressions that count and I was wondering if anyone had made a rash judgement and regretted it
    I've rang her back and arranged a visit for Mon, she couldn't do tonight or today because and I quote she was 'a bit hungover and tired'
    Although that tiny flag popped up again I didnt let it stop me, maybe I'll eat my words!
    I'm kind of using this as a lesson to myself, obviously I don't want to get messed about but as has been said, just because she sounded a little off doesn't mean she will be. We shall see on Monday if any other instincts kick in, I'm going into this totally open minded and looking forward to meeting her and her son

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    Quote Originally Posted by bunyip View Post
    I get the 6th sense thing too, though as you say - not necessarily anything to do with the income or social profile. It often relates to my golden rule: never look after a child unless the parent cares for it at least as much as I do.

    It's weird cos blokes aren't supposed to be intuitive (most blokey 'gut-feelings' are entirely ale-induced. )

    I also benefit from the constant presence of the Childminder's Guardian Angel who seems to sort a lot of the wheat out from the chaff for me. You know that feeling when you think an enquirer is going to be absolutely perfect; then you're devastated cos they sign with another CM or nursery; then you finally see what they're really like and realise you just dodged a bullet? Yeah - that one.
    If I only looked after children where the parent cared as much as I did, I would have probably only have had the child with the OTT protective parents! I e-mailed all the parents at the weekend and asked them to put a review on childcare.co.uk for me, but did warn them not to look at any other childminders as they wouldn't find anyone else who cared for their children as much as they did - but I really wanted to put on there "more than you do"!

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    Default sixth sense in childminders?

    Quote Originally Posted by kellyskidz! View Post
    Does anyone else get this, I don't want to sound picky or rude but sometimes when a parent phones to enquire about places I get a 'feeling'
    I'm not judging AT ALL but today I had this answerphone message from a woman who sounded half asleep
    Hiya I wanna place for my kid but I don't wanna be paying loads. I've gotta sort out with my dole money and money from his dad what gets paid and then I'll sort it with you. He's 2 and can be a handful. I'm not sure what days I want, probably a monday and wednesday but I'll be dropping him off about 11am and not sure what time I'll be picking up, it might be different on different days. Can you ring me back on this number ***** or this one *** or maybe this **** and tell me how much you charge and if theres a discount. Cheers bye.
    As soon as I played back the message I got a red flag, and I really don't want to be rude but I immediately thought 'no way.' Does anyone else have this?! I'm not being a snob I promise, as I'm very aware that rich/posh people can be just as dodgy with payments etc, I just wanted to see if I was the only one making snap judgements and if it might actually be damaging my business, as she may be the loveliest woman ever and pay every week on time for all I know!
    I've learnt by past experience. Years ago I had a similar thing happen and I was doubtful if I wanted to meet the parent and child as unfortunately I was judging them on where they lived (high rise flats in a not very nice area) and not very proud of myself for doing so, but I agreed to a visit. They were the loveliest people and I cared for the little girl for a number of years - about 6 ; so when I had another enquiry from the same place I didn't hesitate and again a lovely dad and son although first impressions weren't that good it didn't take long for their true selves to shine through! So I would say interview them and give it a go if the mum wants to and do a month settling in so you can always say no at the end of that time as you will have got to know them by then. Good luck!

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    The ONE time I ignored my sixth sense it all went horribly wrong. It was many, many years ago but I will not be so silly again x

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    I had that feeling but the dad came with another mum to meet me. Well now I only meet the alone and I will listen to my inner me every time. The dad thought he was going to make it big via X factor. Then when he complained about it been just an entertainer show didn't getting reference to throwing Christians to the lions. Live and learn.

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    I think you have to meet people rather than over the phone but you can usually tell pretty quickly whether they will fit in and you will get on with them, just the same way most parents make up their minds within minutes of walking into our houses.

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    I can normally tell by what the child is wearing if they come in designer labels they won't be staying. Ted Baker and Dior just don't quite fit with my really muddy farm lol. Parents normally run screaming from the mud.

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    Hard to tell over the phone I think, have really clicked over phone with people and then when met in real life you don't! Had one this week like this.. She only wants six days in ten weeks for two kids and I am the only registered minder in my area, she booked the kids in on email,'chatted on phone we got on great but when she came we just didn't hit it off , unsurprisingly she has decided to look elsewhere.. Other times I have hit it off on email , never spoken and meeting me has just been a formality and have signed up there and then! It's weird isn't it!!

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    I have never said no - even if I can see the parent is going to be hard work. A mum kicked off in the street with my neighbour over parking a few weeks ago and they rowed publicly for 20 minutes; it was really embarrassing for me. Mum is hard work, unstable and a real pain and needs more support than her child but her baby needs us too and I would never refuse a child cosI don't like the parents. I agree you can tell the hard ones right off though.

    Also I usually can't afford to turn away business.
    'It's never too late to have a happy childhood' ( Tom Robinson)

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    I know what you mean and have that same 'feeling' at times...although I got it terribly wrong once!
    Mum turned up late, all dolled up to the nines, perfect nails, hair and clothes...child was the same, immaculately dressed, not a hair out of place etc...
    I took the family on thinking they would be such hard work to keep happy but child has turned out to be such a sweetheart and mum is now one of my best friends!
    I don't mind for them anymore as mums situation changed and no longer needs any childcare...but I've made a fantastic friend from this experience I try to stifle my 'feelings' for a while

    Sarah x
    Sarah, Bumble Beez x x

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    Quote Originally Posted by jadavi View Post
    I have never said no - even if I can see the parent is going to be hard work. A mum kicked off in the street with my neighbour over parking a few weeks ago and they rowed publicly for 20 minutes; it was really embarrassing for me. Mum is hard work, unstable and a real pain and needs more support than her child but her baby needs us too and I would never refuse a child cosI don't like the parents. I agree you can tell the hard ones right off though.

    Also I usually can't afford to turn away business.
    So true, friend used to do respite in her home for disabled children bear in mind her son is disabled needs a lot of care, but she started looking after a boy with autism he was 12 but acted 8 and the parents would tell social services that they didn't want him unless they got more help so he would go school all day then go to my friend after school parents pick him up after work, weekends he would go to a bigger respite and every 2 weeks he would stay with my friends, my friend told him everything how to make a bed to make a cup of tea, when he hit 18 parents didn't want him and he now lives in this shelter place , even tho my friend can't have him any more, she still takes him out on day trips, mad think is the mother worked in uumy fully disabled child respite, but she never wanted her child that could do a lot more, so kids need some help in life

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    Quote Originally Posted by covgalxxx View Post

    So true, friend used to do respite in her home for disabled children bear in mind her son is disabled needs a lot of care, but she started looking after a boy with autism he was 12 but acted 8 and the parents would tell social services that they didn't want him unless they got more help so he would go school all day then go to my friend after school parents pick him up after work, weekends he would go to a bigger respite and every 2 weeks he would stay with my friends, my friend told him everything how to make a bed to make a cup of tea, when he hit 18 parents didn't want him and he now lives in this shelter place , even tho my friend can't have him any more, she still takes him out on day trips, mad think is the mother worked in uumy fully disabled child respite, but she never wanted her child that could do a lot more, so kids need some help in life
    I don't think unless you have or are very close to a child with autism you can make judgements on parents 'Not wanting' a child ... My nephew has autism and frankly I don't know how my brother and sister in law cope .. They need a lot of support and respite and I think he will end up in residential care because he needs so much care but it wouldn't be because they don't want him! Bit shocked by your comments to be honest

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    Yep, I know exactly what you mean. I'm far from a snob but this is just Agro in the waiting....

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    Quote Originally Posted by murphf View Post

    I don't think unless you have or are very close to a child with autism you can make judgements on parents 'Not wanting' a child ... My nephew has autism and frankly I don't know how my brother and sister in law cope .. They need a lot of support and respite and I think he will end up in residential care because he needs so much care but it wouldn't be because they don't want him! Bit shocked by your comments to be honest
    My daughter was fully disabled couldn't do anything I would never sent her way, my worse case god took her, my friend son is a lot hard work , he has ADHD, autism, and other things, she get no help but she stills looks after him alone, these parents of this other child clearly didn't want him they where happy for him at the age of 12 to go in a home,and his autism isnt as bad as my friends son , he knew what was right and wrong he did what he was told,I think that is wrong to get rid of any child, people always wondered how I coped looking after my daughter who needed my help with everything had epilepsy bad and i looked after my other 2 kids on my own. And I say you do it cause you love them, so yes I know what I'm saying my daughter was11 when she passed away, and I miss her like mad and even tho it was very hard work I would do it all over again....

 

 

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