Do any of you socialise with parents/families?
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  1. #1
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    Default Do any of you socialise with parents/families?

    I have never liked attending birthday parties etc of mindees or their parents, first communions etc. so this week have decided not to do it anymore. I have told 2 families and they understood.

    I work full time and appreciate my evenings and weekends to just do my own thing. Plus I always feel i'm being judged when i'm out socially with families I mind for and I cant relax. One of my mindees is having a birthday party at soft play centre at 10am on saturday. Living alone I cant imagine a worse way to spend a lovely sunny Saturday morning

    Anyway just wondered do other minders socialise with families?

  2. #2
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    I think I have a good relationship with all my parents but don't really socialise with any of them by choice, as you say I also feel uncomfortable or feel I am beng watched or judged by relatives or friends.

  3. #3
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    I have a really good relationship with my parents (only have one set at the moment!!) and go to lo's birthday parties and the baby's christening-mind you, I did end up with my mindee sitting with us all afternoon so it was like being at work!! Mum tells all her family and friends that LO is like a part of our family and likewise we are part of theirs which is lovely. Can sometimes be awkward at home time though when LO (3) is desperately trying to convince mummy that my DS (10) should come home with them for a sleepover!!

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    before I moved, some parents were my friends, before I minded their children. one wouldn't have even thought about going back to work if she hadn't known me, and I was a childminder. other families became friends and we went to assorted birthdays and christenings.

    here, again, some mums I have become friends with, have since asked me to look after their children, and another family have invited us to family events.

    I tend not to invite minding families to OUR family events, unless they were friends before hand, although, one of my current families we might!

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    I get on well with my mindees families but I wouldn't want to socialise with them, I just wouldn't feel right. It's better to keep it friendly but professional that way everything works well and issues can be sorted if they need to without losing friendships.

  7. #6
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    It's hard because a few of my families live in my village so we socialised before hand, I try to keep the 2 relationships separate though. One of my parents came on my hen night as i'm friendly with her. Others I try to keep a professional distance.
    love Sarah.

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    Whilst it's nice to be nice and friendly with parents, I do prefer to keep a professional distance, with my work life and personal life being kept well and truly separate.
    I'm fortunate that my own children are older so are unlikely to be invited to the LO's events, that said, if it was a christening, or evening invitation to a wedding, I would probably go, but make my excuses as to why I couldn't stay for long beforehand so as not to offend.

    It's a thin line isn't it lol

  9. #8
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    I am very friendly with parents but would never socialise out of work arrangement , I will do babysitting for them my youngest is 21 so cannot see him being invited to birthday parties

  10. #9
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    I get on we'll with my parents but do like to keep my relationship with them purely professional-had to think hard when ds asked if mindee was coming to his birthday party but I decided against it and ds didn't even notice on the day :-)

  11. #10
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    I get on with all my parents but only really socialise with a couple of them. Two ladies have become very good friends and we often go for a drink etc.
    I'm not paranoid - the world IS out to get me!

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    I have been to the odd birthday party etc. We are going to stay with an ex minding family on holiday this year and we are all so looking forward to it.

    I am planning to have a big party next year to celebrate 20 years being registered and invite as many ex families as possible. Over the year ther have only been a very few bad eggs.

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  14. #12
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    A few of my parents are friends of friends, so we often end up at the same functions. If it's a family event I find their children tend to drift towards me & parents do little to stop it. I begrudge being the one to look after their children when we're both at social events.

    If it's an adult only do it's quite nice to have a chat with the parents away from work. I don't drink, so never have to be worry about being drunk in front of them...but it is interesting to hear the things they have to say after they've had a drink or two

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    I have a great relationship with all parents, but don't generally socialise with them. However a parent (mum) is taking me to see Ghost at the theatre tomorrow for my 60th birthday present. Can't wait! The mum and dad also contribute daily to the diary, learning journal and assessments etc. What more could I ask for

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    I tend to be asked but I only go if I don't have anything else and then it is just to pop in. Been invited to birthdays, weddings and christenings.

    However, old parents I go on holiday with each year as their children are the same age and mine and we are now going with them in March with no children - bonus
    Debbie

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  18. #15
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    yes, i am going camping in a few weeks with one set

  19. #16
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    Have been to a couple of birthday parties in the past but ended up looking after the kids in the garden and the rest of the adults were indoors!!! Felt like the hired help!! never did it again..

  20. #17
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    We go to occasional parties when invited, a lot of our families are Asian and it is lovely to have a taste of their culture and see how they celebrate. Our families are great and we haven't felt like we were there to provide childcare, they always introduce us to their important family members and friends and tell them how important we are to them and how great we are...don't feel judged at all, we feel honoured

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  22. #18
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    I've been to birthday parties, a mums hen night (only stayed for the meal, didn't feel comfy going clubbing with a mum) over to a mutual friends for a drinks night and will be going on a girly day out with one of my mums soon. Tends to be just the odd occasion really when things really click, i could probably count on my fingers the number of times I've socialised with families in 16 years.

  23. #19
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    thanks for replies. I went to child's party this morning, turned out all children there are (or have been) minded by me. New baby was very upset with teething and poor mummy was struggling. I took him and he was asleep in my arms within minutes

    Child of parent i'm having problems with hardly left my side, got loads of hugs and we had great time (she totally ignored her mother). Same mother complained about boys i mind being out in sun the other day (not her boys) then she mentions today her older child has sunstroke having been out with her all day yesterday!!!!!!

    All other children were coming to me when they needed toilet, cuddle, more red sauce lol

    So I have come away feeling so much more positive and knowing i'm good at my job.

    Still not going to socialise with families in future but happier about my role as a childminder today. Nice for parents to see how happy their children are with me. So any more complaints will be water off a ducks back

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  25. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by ziggy View Post
    thanks for replies. I went to child's party this morning, turned out all children there are (or have been) minded by me. New baby was very upset with teething and poor mummy was struggling. I took him and he was asleep in my arms within minutes

    Child of parent i'm having problems with hardly left my side, got loads of hugs and we had great time (she totally ignored her mother). Same mother complained about boys i mind being out in sun the other day (not her boys) then she mentions today her older child has sunstroke having been out with her all day yesterday!!!!!!

    All other children were coming to me when they needed toilet, cuddle, more red sauce lol

    So I have come away feeling so much more positive and knowing i'm good at my job.

    Still not going to socialise with families in future but happier about my role as a childminder today. Nice for parents to see how happy their children are with me. So any more complaints will be water off a ducks back
    Glad if Went well and you are
    Feeling better!

 

 
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