what would you do?

[kel1983]

We currently mind a 3 year old (nearly 4) who this morning has snatched everything off of everyone. We soon had enough and moved him indoors away from the other children. He proceeded to cry, scream and kick out. We explained why we took him in and said that when he calmed down he could play again. Well he has not calmed down and has continued to cry for an hour. He has shouted at us and not been pleasent. Just don't know what to do. We don't feel he should be back out in the garden yet. What would you do? Does it make us bad childminders.

[shortstuff]

We currently mind a 3 year old (nearly 4) who this morning has snatched everything off of everyone. We soon had enough and moved him indoors away from the other children. He proceeded to cry, scream and kick out. We explained why we took him in and said that when he calmed down he could play again. Well he has not calmed down and has continued to cry for an hour. He has shouted at us and not been pleasent. Just don't know what to do. We don't feel he should be back out in the garden yet. What would you do? Does it make us bad childminders.

i dont think it makes you bad cm's. it means you are protecting the others. was it anything in particular he keeps snatching or just anything that the others are playing with? if its just one item i would take it out of the equation. If its everything then i think you have done the right thing. Do you know if there are any triggers for him at the moment? changes at home? im guessing this isnt normal for this lo?

[Mouse]

I don't think I'd have left him inside for a hour, mainly because I couldn't stand the screaming for that long!

Rather than wait for him to calm down I would tell him that he is going back outside, but if he doesnt stop crying or if he snatches toys again he will have to come back indoors. Keep doing that - take him back inside for a few minutes if he starts again, but keep giving him the opportunity to go out. He'll get the message a lot quicker through a repeated action than through one long time out.

Good luck!

[AgentTink]

I would do the same as Mouse. Give him the opportunity to go back out with ground rules, and then if he nreaks them back in for a few minutes and repeat the process again.

[kel1983]

i dont think it makes you bad cm's. it means you are protecting the others. was it anything in particular he keeps snatching or just anything that the others are playing with? if its just one item i would take it out of the equation. If its everything then i think you have done the right thing. Do you know if there are any triggers for him at the moment? changes at home? im guessing this isnt normal for this lo?

It is everything. He keeps saying "I want". His behaviour has not been great the last couple of weeks and his mum keeps blaming the fact he is not sleeping well at home. He is really tired every morning and mum doesn't want us to let him nap. I think he is too tired

[shortstuff]

sounds like its time for a chat with mum to work out a routine between you to get him back into a good sleep pattern x good luck x

[Jiorjiina]

It is everything. He keeps saying "I want". His behaviour has not been great the last couple of weeks and his mum keeps blaming the fact he is not sleeping well at home. He is really tired every morning and mum doesn't want us to let him nap. I think he is too tired

Er, tough on her! If he needs to sleep, then let him sleep regardless of what mum says, and send her a leaflet explaining that him not sleeping during the day will not necessarily make him sleep better at night.

[kel1983]

I don't think I'd have left him inside for a hour, mainly because I couldn't stand the screaming for that long!

Rather than wait for him to calm down I would tell him that he is going back outside, but if he doesnt stop crying or if he snatches toys again he will have to come back indoors. Keep doing that - take him back inside for a few minutes if he starts again, but keep giving him the opportunity to go out. He'll get the message a lot quicker through a repeated action than through one long time out.

Good luck!

He wouldn't stop crying. We did say could go back out if he stopped. We don't want him indoors as the weather is too nice. We are protecting the other los by not letting him go back out befor he calmes down

[AgentTink]

Poor little thing, no wonder he is snatching if he is over tires, and todays heat cant be helping. Have you discussed with parents a morning nap instead of a afternoon one? I doubt this would effect his night time nap too much, and it might even help him settle better at night as a over tired child at night can really struggle to have a good night sleep

[kel1983]

Er, tough on her! If he needs to sleep, then let him sleep regardless of what mum says, and send her a leaflet explaining that him not sleeping during the day will not necessarily make him sleep better at night.

We have tried this. But he just has a screaming fit when we ask him to lay down and have a nap. We would love him to have a morning nap occassionally

[kel1983]

Well we survived lunch time with no screaming. There was some silliness but we tried to ignore it. After lunch he had calmed and apologised to everyone. We gave him another chance to play in the garden. Well that lasted half an hour before we took him back indoors as he had pushed hit and been rude. This time we placed him on the sofa and he fell off to sleep within minutes. He was so tired and taking it out on everyone around him.

[The Juggler]

i have a 2 1/2 year old like this. it is a constant ( and I mean constant - all through the day) process of reminding her she mustn't just take, we ask first, wait turns and when we are not playing with it, someone else can have a go - its mentally exhausting but she is getting it.


I use a kitchen timer so they have an audible signal for sharing toys, and wording helps. Talk to him about taking turns rather than sharing - so: "you will have a turn after x, when the beeps go" then, when the beeps go again, x will have a turn.

It's hard hon, I sympathise but little things do help.

But like you when she won't let go or starts screaming and shouting I just remove her until "you calm down and stop shouting" or until she wants to "play nicely" .

Often children who behave this way need lots of help labelling and understanding their emotions so before you remove him saying "i know you are angry because you want a turn now but you can have a turn when the beeper goes". Also give him the choice "please stop shouting or you will have to go and calm down with me out of the playroom (or wherever).