Parents staying at the end of day!!!!

[TraceyC]

This also happens to me and I am torn between wanting to chat with the parents and have a good relationship with them and being exhausted and wanting them to go. One of my parents often arrives 20 minutes early, and LO says Daddy can you stay and have a cup of tea? I often do this at leat once a week or once a fortnight, and to give him credit he has a cuppa very quickly and then goes. It is difficult to get LO ready to go as he always arrives early. They don't want to change the contract as they like knowing they can arrive up to 6 pm.

I try and talk to the parents in more detail at the end of day at least once a fortnight at the end of the day but only if there are no other children here. My own 3 children who really need to go to bed suffer.

[rickysmiths]

Do any of you have experence of parents coming in when theyre supposed to be collecting their child and they stay for half hour asking what did he eat whatdid you do today and just sitting there talking to you watching you play with their child????? I dunno what to say to them!!!There's one father that stayed for a good 20 minuted to collect his children over the winter but luckily mum is a bit quicker,does this happen to anyone else? Don't wanna be rude but I finish the day very tired and its a bit uncomfortable as the other parents are coming to collect their kids too.How do you prevent this???????

Also is it normal to be asked if prospective parents can look around your house? Happened to me twice and didnt like it much.

I try to hand over at the door but if a child has been doing something and wants to show their parents then they come in but don't stay.

When a prospective parent comes to see me I start off by showing them the areas of the house and garden that are used for childminding. I explain that the whole house is registered so I can sleep little ones upstairs and that if I do I use a baby monitor.

The few times I have been asked if they can see upstairs I say no sorry but upstairs is private and you have to trust that Ofsted have inspected it and judge from the way downstairs is that I keep the upstairs areas safe as well. There is no way I would ever let strangers in my and the children's bedrooms. Our home is open enough without that as well!

You just need to be firm in your conviction and remind people that they are coming into your home, not visiting an impersonal institution.

[Mouse]

I've had it happen with a few parents over the years. One used to stop for about an hour, but we'd sit & have a cuppa and a chat and I enjoyed it as much as she did.

Others I've really had to discourage. As a rule, parents only come in as far as the hall, but some will happily sit themselves on the stair & make no effort to move. Every now & again I do a reminder letter to all parents saying that as home time can be a bit manic with the children getting over excited, I am going to make it easier for everyone by having children ready to hand over to the door. I thank parents for their support in making home time as quick & easy as possible.

[teacake2]

I have one who does it in the morning, she arrives around 8 and leaves at 8.30, this then winds the child up and he gets upset when she leaves, I have tried telling her nicely, but nothing budges her.
Teacake2

[suziealderton]

I have one who does it in the morning, she arrives around 8 and leaves at 8.30, this then winds the child up and he gets upset when she leaves, I have tried telling her nicely, but nothing budges her.
Teacake2

Just dont let her in! Explain you want to try it a different way to help her lo settle quicker. No point trying nicely-be brave and just say it x

[smartbear]

once had a parent come in & absentmindedly start reading the post!!!!

[jackie 7]

If they are on the phone at collection time my policy says no hand over until off phone.

[chelsea59]

Hiya!!! just seen all your comments,, made me laugh,this is what I go through on a daily basis,,I am going to try these tactics,,so funny!!!!!

[toddlers896]

I have one that just walks in when I open the door and she comes in and sits on the living room floor and cuddles her babies for five minutes as they are excited to see her. 5 minutes ends up being half hr though.
My other parents just stand at the door and I have the kids ready to go. I think the problem with the other one is she came in every day during settling and now just thinks this is the norm and it's really hard to break. Probably my fault too for being so friendly and chatting for half hr each time instead of saying right let's get ready to go.

[Emra81]

Yikes...not sure I could cope with any lurkers! I'm very lucky in that all but 1 of mine get picked up by Dads who I know really well but are never particularly interested in standing around chatting. The other is picked up by Grandma who doesn't speak English very well so couldn't chat if she wanted to! Phew!

[Mrs Scrubbit]

All my parents text me at the start of their journey to collect, so I now have plenty of time to get the children ready for doorstep handovers, I started requesting this a couple of winters ago as I found it hard to cope with the struggle of trying to get non-complying toddlers into soooooooooooooooooooo many snowsuits whilst their parents stood happily chatting about thier day and watching me! Thankfully its now a normal part of our collection routine........and it will stay that way too! xx

[littlemiss60561]

I had a parent that would come in and sit in the lounge. I'd had her child ready to go. My eldest dd was watching tele. She took his coat off and watched the tele while asking about his day! I Was new and didn't want to be rude. Oh how I've learnt! Anyway, I started clearing up around them and she said to lo ok you can finish watching this and then we must go collect daddy from the station. Cheeky mare was passing time rather than sit in a car park! I said I'm sorry I need to start dinner now or my evening will be chaos. She said " that's ok I don't mind"! I was so shocked that she didn't move I just looked at my dd who was stifling a laugh. She then said to lo I've got your packed tea in my bag so you want it now or later? Erm....get out! They did...
I don't mind the ( normal) chats at pick up and I can waffle too. ESP if I havnt had any contact with anyone above the age of 4 for 10 hours!! But... There are limits!

[littlemiss60561]

And had she of asked if I minded her hanging here I'd have said that's fine and given her the Hoover lol

[littlemiss60561]

Maybe you could get the guy to do some jobs?! Like " could you do me a quick favour and sweep up the dinner under the table, I can't reach as I've hurt my back"
Struggle with emptying the kitchen bin and ask him to put it out on his way out, that kinda thing? Lol

[Simona]

I feel that this kind of behaviour has been seen by many cms for a very long time...but apart from the moaning, frustration and anger we have done nothing to change it....

My advice would be to reflect and redraw the Terms and Conditions of your contract or add a clause that specifies what behaviour is expected from parents when using your setting......the clause should also reflect the fact that parents and cm have a professional relationship
Think about writing Terms and Conditions that list the CM responsibilities and the parents and get the parents to sign in agreement....much easier when you have an issue to point out to your T&C being breached!

Unfortunately no 'off the shelf' contract includes this vital information in their Terms and Conditions...I have asked a particular representing association to look at including it in theirs but so far nothing has come of it
I have also suggested various times about being 'trained' in this area...just because we run a business it does not mean we are equipped to deal with these situations.

In addition Ofsted look to judge our practice on evidence of 'partnership with parents' ...that must involve parents understanding the barriers and ethics of that very partnership resulting in behaviour that reflects it, mutual respect and professional interaction

I have never seen a parent pushing the boundaries in a school or entering a classroom and read a newspaper...have you? so why do we allow it to happen in our homes?

At the end of the day parents come to pick up their children and some sort of communication may be necessary if they want some information but this can be done within boundaries and it must be balanced between what is part of our job and what is not.

CMs must also reflect on their relationship with parents...even if minding friends' children there has to be a line drawn between friendship and professional behaviour

Hope this is of some help...also thinking of the parents who are members of this forum and maybe reading our comments!

[Kerry30]

I have one that just walks in when I open the door and she comes in and sits on the living room floor and cuddles her babies for five minutes as they are excited to see her. 5 minutes ends up being half hr though.
My other parents just stand at the door and I have the kids ready to go. I think the problem with the other one is she came in every day during settling and now just thinks this is the norm and it's really hard to break. Probably my fault too for being so friendly and chatting for half hr each time instead of saying right let's get ready to go.

I had that but weaned them off it over summer hols as that particular child was last to leave. Jut kept saying i had to rush out. Now their fine and she doesnt often come past hallway. Think shes realised shes gets home quicker herself.

[starlight1]

With showing parents round..babies sleep upstairs... so show then bedroom and bathroom which is upstairs...our bedroom doors are always shut with stop sign on so they are clearly not welcome...My son also has a hand written sign " do not cum in or lisen "

[beachgirl29]

I've thought of a good idea.......a call system when your day is over and a few mins after the last child should leave you get the phone call and you then say sorry i need to take this call...that will get rid of parents quickly?

New business idea?

As for showing them around...ok but only childminding rooms they are not looking in my bedroom or daughters room!

[BlondeMoment]

OMG I know exactly what you mean.
It's so hard because you try to be friendly and approachable but some parents really don't understand that you have a life other than the job you do.
In all honesty I don't mind too much if the parent has arrived on time and we have a general chit chat for 5 minutes or so. But when they are already late and still expect you to happily listen to them rant on about their terrbile day, that's when I get irritated.
The 'I'm on my way out' trick works very well!

[bunyip]

OMG I know exactly what you mean.
It's so hard because you try to be friendly and approachable but some parents really don't understand that you have a life other than the job you do.
In all honesty I don't mind too much if the parent has arrived on time and we have a general chit chat for 5 minutes or so. But when they are already late and still expect you to happily listen to them rant on about their terrbile day, that's when I get irritated.
The 'I'm on my way out' trick works very well!

This is when I go and sit in my little booth, in the manner of Lucy van Pelt, and start the meter running (only I don't charge a mere 5 cents.)

Link: Google Image Result for http://princessanimal.com/home/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Lucy-van-pelt-1-.jpg