i dont need this stress :,( *crying*

[leeanne910]

Can i give notice with immediate effect though?

[Kiddleywinks]

What does your contract and your policy say?

I would think you would also need to deal with the complaint anyway as it has been made verbally

[madredann]

Hi
my advice would be to try and sort the issues following the complaints procedure - as others have said verbal and written get her to write down the complaints and then try to sort them out between you- if you cant then Ofsted may get involved if she complains to them. Once things are documented and you get to a point where you can do no more I would terminate the contract I couldnt work with parents like this always worrying what they will say next but you may feel more accomplished that you have tried to sort the problems IYSWIM I dont think you can terminate and not deal with the complaints BUT there are 2 issues here the complaints and the way mum has behaved which is a breach of the contract in my eyes maybe get advice from PACEY or alternative and take it from there dont rush into it xx

[VeggieSausage]

f I was you I would:

1. Write down absolutely everything that has happened and been said.
2. Contact your DO and ask for immediate and urgent advice - they will be able to give advice on protocol etc
3. Check your policies and see what you have stated you will do in the event of a complaint and you will need to carry through with that - if she goes and makes a complaint to Ofsted then you must make sure you have done everything according to what you should do.
4. Do you do a daily diary which outlines what the child has eaten for the day?
5. I would then after getting advice write a formal letter in response to each complaint and make this very formal, it is totally unacceptable to talk to you in the way she has but you need to make sure you have logged everything, be professional...

Very stressful for you, let us know what happens.....

[madredann]

http://www.childmindinghelp.co.uk/fr...s%20record.pdf

above is the link to the complaints form that may be of help to you if you havent got one xx

[MiniKins]

I understand how helpless this situation may seem and can only agree with the advice given here already to terminate your contract as it sounds like your relationship with this parent has broken down beyond repair.

The only thing I might add is get your other parents to write letters of support saying how happy they are and the particular aspects they enjoy with regard to your service.

Read them through several times and they will give you the strength you need to deal with this unpleasant situation and the kind words may temper your tears and bring out a smile.

Remind yourself that her behaviour and allegations are unfounded and any sensible inspector with any degree of experience will have come across this situation before and will know exactly what is going on.

And, by the way, tell your man that you need his support through this (we're sometimes not the most empathetic or understanding of creatures but we can be pretty compassionate in a crisis).

[Goatgirl]

Can i give notice with immediate effect though?

Hi, so sorry that you're in this horrible situation. And in an already stressful week if Ofsted are inspecting!

This woman has verbally abused you and made false accusations concerning the safeguarding of children in your care. I have the NCMA (now Pacey?) contracts and there is a clause listing reasons for immediate termination of contract, but it also states this is not exhaustive. Personaly I would terminate right now. I would be very worried about caring any further for a child who seems to be lying about events in your care and has a Mother whose own emotional behaviour seems to support this. WHo knows what else you could be accused of by the end of a notice period?!

I would write the accusations down in list form, call her bluff by saying that you have of course informed Ofsted and also list the reasons/evidence of why they are simply not true.
I would attach a Termination letter (2/3 copies of everything by the way: one for you; one for ofsted; one for her). This would say something simple like:

Dear Mrs x,
Due to a breakdown of trust it is with regret that I feel I must terminate our contract with immediate notice. The final date of care was x/x/x payments due are £xx.xx due on x/x/x. (or I will refund £xx.xx by x/x/x)
Please see attached document which addresses the concerns you raised in our telephone conversation of x/x/x at x o clock...

I hope you manage to deal with this professionally and without any more emotional stress from this particular family. Very sad .

[pipandbaz]

Goodness me :-( that's awful big hug to you. Excellent advice already given. Xxx it becomes so personal when things go wrong a horrible part to the job :-(

[leeanne910]

I am really confused now. I cant see anything in contracts about immediate effect notice other than settle in period. (Mm)

I have logged phone call and just wrote on my complaints form to go through with parent. It has a section for what happened. So i put that after parent was informed of childs behaviour parent called outside working and contracted hours and all the allegations and and a part about how it was dealt with so things i said such as sugested food diary which she refused and that children are treated equally and that an appointment to discuss concerns was made and parent refused i also put that the call was logged.

There is then a bit about outcomes so all her concerns ive noted and next to then action points i will act on.

I will talk through with mum and both of us are to sign and copies for us both and one for ofsted.

Am i right in thinking before i gove notice i need to prove i action these points?

I am going to write a letter too for mum stating that following our converasation on the phone i have logged the conversation and also that i have started the complaints process. I am also going to put something along the lines of that although i am willing to accept critisism and will listen to a parent and their concerns that outside of my working hours i do not have to discuss matters as it would be appropriate to arrange a meeting to discuss and that the manner in that she spoke to me was both verbaly aggressive and intimdating and that if there are future incidents of being spoken to in sich a way i would need to terminate with immediate effect. I also want to add that i take pride in taking every child in my care and this of my own childrens well being. Maybe even add i hope we can work through this together and that things improve and if parent is still unhappy immediate effect notice can be given?

What do we think?

[leeanne910]

Aswell as this a parent owes me £325 from last week and been avoiding me :,( and another cudnt pay on time either..... im working 60 for free this week as well as ofsted stress and mean parent...... pub satursay for me

[Kirstylob]

Don't really has any advice other than what has already been said. Hope things get sorted in the way you want them too. Good luck and I'm going to keep checking how your doing.
Stay strong!

[madredann]

The fact that she owes you money does not go in her favour if she complains to Ofsted as it may look like she is trying to wriggle out of paying you!

[madredann]

In a seperate letter you may need to invoice her again and tell her she needs to pay ASAP or by a certain date or you will be taking action to retrieve money x

[VeggieSausage]

If you have NCMA contracts then contact their legal people regarding immediate notice....

[leeanne910]

All done...mum had letter addressin that i was concerned it had been since i had issued the invoice and also addressin how inappropriately she spoke to.me. explaining complaints procedure. Stating my ethos on treating children equal. And stating that if she is unhappy after the complaints been actioned i will accept notice of immediatrle effect n sayin i hope we work things out for our working relationship for both child in concern and also our own peace of mind. I then talked through complaints form and actions. She wanted to take it home before she signed it. But she appoligised to me. She said herself she was being a sumert begining with b and ending in h and she said about the incident with my own son and the touching that she bought it up to upset me. I said i still had to addrrss this in my complaints....mum went away ok and said see u friday and child gave me a hug.....so....we will see what friday brings and hope my ofsted goes ok tomorrow or friday......gah....

[Samcat]

Fingers crossed! Good luck

[CLL]

I think you need to tighten up you policies and procedures. Parents should not be late paying, you run a business not a charity. I take payment in advance for the month. No payment on the 1st no care on the 2nd. Deal with this woman's complaints, terminate her contract, have a great Ofsted visit and then assess your other parents, have you been too soft and now they are taking the Micky? Send out a letter to all parents with new policies and date they are effective from and start taking back control, good luck.

We were both writing at the same time. Lol well done for standing up for yourself, feel proud.

[Kiddleywinks]

She said herself she was being a sumert begining with b and ending in h
and she said about the incident with my own son and the touching that she bought it up to upset me.

Woah!

Sorry, that sends alarm bells ringing and shivers up my spine!

She's prepared to throw that at you in, what amounts to, a hissy fit?!

Get ofsted out of the way, get her complaint dealt with, and then give serious consideration about whether you really want to have to deal with her behaviour and consequences of her temper.

[leeanne910]

It wasnt late payment it was a fee for picking child up late. Which she paid. She had been late collectin child n thoughy was ok to colect early some days. All these have been addressed in newsletters contracts policies too. X

[madredann]

Well done I hope you are feeling a bit more in control now. You should be proud of yourself that you have dealt with the situation in a brilliant way. You are now in a position to remind her who is boss if things have slipped a little re contract and then you can decide whether to terminate with it all been cleared up.