After school care

[NinaBowen]

I am having a nightmare with my after school children at the moment. I have 3 under fives and then have 5 to pick up from school. I would say that perhaps 1 day a week is a good day the rest are just nightmares. I have 4 children out of the 8 which I have problems with. Varying from hitting, to wanting everything their way, we have pinching, pushing, trying to get other children into trouble and one child has great pleasure in telling me that his other childminder is so much better than me! They don't like what I give them for dinner and just want pizza 5 nights a week and to be honest I am not enjoying it at the moment. They do not listen or respect me and do not take care with my house or toys they play with. One problem child who is 6 says he is naughty because he gets bored. I have bought so much stuff, lego but it is always the wrong sort or the wrong one. I bought a castle with dragons/knights, various puzzles, games, I have tried getting them to prepare their own tea but got fed up doing that. The same with arts and crafts, he doesn't want to know like most of the others. They want to tear around which is fine initially but then someone gets carried away and at least one person gets hurt. And you can get it is just before that person gets collected and then they tell their parents that they just got hit on the head or something! I just don't know what I can do. Is it just a case of (as I have only been childminding for a year) that this is just how after school children are??

[moggy]

Mmmm... I decided when I started never to have after school children and I do not regret that decision.
I hope things improve for you, if not can you manage with just little ones, or do you really need the after school income?
You have to weigh up the pros and cons- is the money they bring in worth the stress?

[CLL]

That is a lot of children for one person. I can see why they would play up, they know you are stressed and are bouncing off each other.I guess you need to sit down and write some house rules together and stick to them or else maybe let 2 or 3 of your schoolies go.

[Koala]

You've said it yourself - your not enjoying it - so let your after schoolies go.

I too decided it was pre schoolers or after schoolies, after trying both, I am firmly convinced pre schoolers are for me.

[Twinkling Stars]

The only after school i have is my own child. They are hard work after school! I do have school children during holidays and i find they are better behaved for some reason. X

[lizduncan72]

I don't do school kids any more either, found them so much harder to cope with than littlies

[jackie 7]

I don't do after schoolies. I would only think about it if I really needed the money but I had enough of school runs as a nanny.

[vals]

Sounds like you are trying too hard and they are taking advantage of that.
Try putting away a lot of the toys, make a dramatic change, has to be enough of a change for them to wonder what is happenning. It will get their attention and remind them that you are in charge.
If you can go to a park after school for a while then that will give them a chance to burn of some energy. I don't usually find that after school children need to be 'entertained' as such, they usually want to do their own thing or to chat or watch tv.
I don't do dinner every day, only if children are staying quite late - most of my parents are happy to have a family meal when they get home.The ones that do have dinner I know also get fed again when home, so its pretty pointless. Could you maybe change what time you do dinners? Obviously while you are preparing the food it is harder to be supervising the children, which they will take advantage of.
Sometimes I do a newsletter if I need to tell parents things. So you could say that from xxxdate you will be putting up a menu for the week, and ask them to speak to you asap if there is a problem with anything on it.
You could sit them all down and discuss house rules and encourage them to think for themselves, ask them what they think would make the time happier and nicer etc. Imagine they are at school - 5 and 6 year olds respond well to a teacher usually - guide them with the ideas, if they can write get them to write it all on a massive sheet of paper (they will like that its a big sheet). When its all done you could even get each child to 'sign' it to say they agree. Make them feel proud that it is their idea and that may make them want to stick to it.

For your first year that is a lot of children,it does get easier, you learn what works, you learn to remember that it is your home and you are in charge, and if they moan it is because they are testing you, they probably love being there really - if they didn't their parents would find someone else.

[samb]

I had issues with older children playing up more than younger children and I made it into a theme - we did "growing up". We talked about the sorts of things babies/toddlers/preschool children/school children might be able to do. Big ones were asked to "catch" things happening and take a photo and we made a display of things we could do. Then if big ones were caught doing something toddlers do (for example running off when walking home from school) they would equally "be caught". The peer pressure worked well for my group - the older ones didn't want to be thought of as babies and they also became more observant and helpful towards the you get ones. We did lots of other things to do with growing- grew cress and measured it. Looked at life cycles and did activities on hungry caterpillar etc. we put the children's pictures up in age order etc. it was quite fun! They made up their own "rules" from what they thought to be more grown up behaviour and chose jobs like laying the table etc.

That after school time is generally not that long. They have had all day at home and some just dont want to concentrate any more- garden games/park/playing for set time on a wii etc might help. We have 1 day a week that we turn the wii on after school.

[little chickee]

As I see it you have a number of choices.

1. Give notice to some of the more unruly schoolies. 8 kids is a lot for one person esp 5 unruly schoolies. Cutting down on your numbers may improve the over all behaviour.

2. Stop providing dinners. If they aren't eating it there is no point. I would do this first. No more evening meal will be provided regardless of what time they finish. explain why. If the parents aren't happy they may give notice which will save you having to do it.

3. New, firm rules agreed by everyone.. Also agree on what the consequences will be of not following the rules. Stick to it.

4. Not sure if this one will work but have a yellow and red card system. They work well at things like Cubs and Scouts. Issue a yellow card for any unwanted behaviour. 2 yellow cards in a week makes a red. A red card means they are excluded from your setting for 1 session. (you still get paid!) This would certainly bring the parents on board with managing behaviour.

Good Luck and keep us posted.

[NinaBowen]

Thanks for the advice. We do go to the park once a week. It is always difficult though cause they need a snack when they come out of school and on some days I have pick ups at 4.15 so can't always come back here for a snack first and then go to the park. I did on one occasion think we could get away without a snack but that didn't go down very well!!! Now the weather is nice they do want to play outside all the time which is nice but there is a lot of hitting and kicking etc and someone always gets hurt and they come running into the house to tell me what has happened cause I am inside sometimes with my under 5's. I did my a cricket set which they asked for and it was great at first, then they argued all the time about how was batting and the bat was getting thrown and then unfortunately someone got hit on the forehead (by mistake) but it wasn't good. The same with the swingball too, that was good initially and then it doesn't get used as it should, took it apart and used it as a sword and whacked someone on the head with it. I have bought 3 footballs all disappeared within a few weeks. Hardly any of them want to watch TV, if only I could make then all watch TV for one evening a week, my week would be vastly improved

I know what you are saying about not providing dinners and you are right most of the time they eat very little or nothing and then they get something else when they get home! That does annoy me cause how it works in my area, we do not charge extra for food. I charge £3.50 an hour and that includes an evening meal if they stay between 5 and 6pm. So half of that hourly rate gets spent on food and then ends up in the bin! I don't understand why the childminders in this area do that. It isn't too bad for the little ones as they don't eat that much and to be honest, they eat everything I give them so I don't mind! I unfortunately do have to provide them with an evening meal though as I have two young children myself so we all like to eat at 5pm. There is no way we could wait and eat at 6pm when the last child has gone home.

I have already tried a few of the suggestions already like the house rules, they made some up and did I. Still don't pay any attention!

I know they are testing me and are constantly seeing what they can get away with I find the 3 hours I have them more tiring than looking after under 5's from 8am in the morning. That 3 hours in itself is like a full days work!! I wish I didn't have to do it, like so many of you, but I need to do it for just one more year then I can have an new under 5 which will boost my income and I can say goodbye to those after schoolers! Just hope I can get through one more year

Sorry for the long post

[Paulab]

Am giving notice to my after schoolies next week, will have till end of the school year in July, or if they wish they can leave sooner, I am fed ups with them tattle telling, whingeing, breaking toys, not eating food, then whingeing their hungry as soon as the parents pick up, both sets of parents are my worst payers, and are constantly late.

I don't have my own twins 3 days a week after school because of various clubs etc, I'm certainly not having other peoples children, who tear around my house knocking my tiny 2 year old over.

Never again lol

Give notice to your worse offenders, get you balance right with the children for a calmer atmosphere, and don't provide dinner anymore x

[serin]

I had an 8 year old boy and a 4 year old after school. The 4 year old girl is no trouble at all. The 8 year old lie's to mum about being hungry yet he is not eating my food. He is fussy as well with what he eats and how it is made etc. He also told his mum I put him in the garden and wasnt allowed in the house which is not true. Then he told me he had no homework when he did. Thank god he has done his last day on Friday. Good riddens!

[sarahmc]

Why are you doing snack and tea? I give snack and then all go home for tea.
I use to cook a meal for 6 after schoolers but felt like I was a cook not Childminder so soon stopped that. Told parents they could send a meal for their child but funnily enough nobody did as they all ate at home, but nobody told me!
The children now choose the snack menu with a bit of healthy tweaking from me. Most of them still say they are hungry when parents come so I also say " you can't possibly be. You had 2 rounds of toast, a banana and a Kiwi'
We always go to the park on the way home from school and it makes such a difference. Also if I hear the BORED word, my pet hate, I tell them it's good for their brain!

[little chickee]

Just because other cm's don't charge for meals doesn't mean you can't.
I know its easier to go with what everyone does but if its not working for you financially then charge.

Make it known to the other cm that you are now charging for meals and they can choose to do the same. Chances are they will leap at the chance.

[winstonian]

I think your first year is quite a steep learning curve. Especially so if you are dealing with new age ranges as they all have their own challenges/rewards.
I often have 10 or 11 by myself but 3 are my own and several others are over 8 AND I have them very well trained . It is possible to enjoy school children.
I am quite strict, we have lots of toys and other children to play with but if people do not follow the rules they know they will be called on it. We have time to sit and think here if needed.
I think if you stopped doing an evening meal (or could you make it later?) I used to rush and do one but now do it after 5 when a lot have gone. That has made life easier as you can supervise better.
Could you take a bag of fruit to the park for snack?
maybe become quite strict for a week, implement "thinking time" and see if there is an improvement. my guys know the rules so well here they kind of police each other and it is rare I have to step in (although their behaviors often change dramatically at home time)!
if the above doesnt work then I would agree with the others and you would need to think about giving notice to some.
Good luck xx

[NinaBowen]

When things get mental or someone gets hurt we have time out where they need to think about what they are doing. Like last week when they were trying to break the bathroom door down because someone was in there! However, some sit there and do their time no problem, while others think it is a joke, messing about still, thinking it is funny. I think I need to be tougher for sure. I am glad that I am not the only one who has trouble though. I thought I just wasn't coping well and was a bad childminder and hate having to tell parents, so and so hasn't been very good AGAIN today. I am expecting a call from one of the parents tomorrow as they get back of holiday and I did say we needed a chat but am going to say if things do not improve this term then I don't want him back come September.