Sickness/tummy aches - my child!

**teacakepenguin** · 17-04-2013, 07:56 PM

Hi

My 10 year old dd1 is prone to many tummy aches, there's not normally any reason for this, but probably at least once a week she needs to be peeled off me at school to go to her teacher.

Anyhow, very occasionally there is a bug going round that my lot catch, and now I'm childminding I'm suddenly really aware of her every tummy ache.

If your child was well but had unexplained tummy ache, would you mention it to the other parents? Would you do anything at all?

And, woe betide, if she were actually sick, if any of your children are sick do you phone all parents and get them to collect their children asap and then close till 48hrs after the last episode? I'm guessing you'd need to?

Thanks
Jx

**JCrakers** · 17-04-2013, 08:14 PM

I wouldn't mention tummy aches to parents..are you sure she's happy at school/ friends.

I've got a 10yr old and she was having problems with friends which showed itself as tummy aches...wanting time off, clinging to my in the playground and on occasion following me home

Anxiety can cause tummy aches ...just a thought.

As for the sickness, my children who are 14 and 10 stay upstairs with strict instructions not to come down, although we aren't ill very often. It helps that my dh works from home 3 days a week so he's upstairs working if they need anything.

**natalieatk** · 17-04-2013, 08:32 PM

Is it a tummy ache to maybe try to stay home with you? My child does this tho she is 3 so wants to just play with the others and maybe a little jelous you have other children there when she's at school!
Wouldn't mention it to mums! Sickness is difficult! As you have to cancel all children losing out on lot of money! My children are 3 and 7 so in the past I have closed as need to look after them! The eldest could possibly stay upstairs but of close for the little one ! Bit guess it goes o how much they have been sick! 1 episode could be just an upset stomach? 3 or 4 and dihorea is obv a bug x

**Stapleton83** · 17-04-2013, 08:48 PM

Wouldn't mention it to parents unless she is genuinely ill in terms of sickness etc. then down to your judgement and the parents in question.

It could be psychological i.e. a manifestation of an issue at school etc as mentioned above but it may also be she has a bit of something and her body is fighting back. A doctor told me that we have glands in our stomachs which can hurt when we are feeling a bit under the weather with a virus or cold.

Sam

**vickylou** · 17-04-2013, 08:57 PM

My 12 year old gets tummy ache Monday-Friday!!! He hates school, he screams at me you think I'm making it up!! I don't because I was the same and the tummy aches felt real to me!!!!

My older two used to get bad tummy aches and were sometimes very sick, they were diagnosed with abdominal migraines so may be worth having her checked out just in case. They both have full blown migraines now, and my 17 yr old can be violently sick for 2 days. I don't tell parents because they are not contagious, I have worked in the past with migraines where I'm being sick if they've started during the day,

I tell parents when it's a bug and then obviously also close.

**lisbet** · 17-04-2013, 09:01 PM

My youngest is prone to anxiety

and stomach ache is one of the symptoms. Her teacher understands her anxiety now which really helps x

**supermumy** · 17-04-2013, 09:04 PM

Agree tummy ache can be a sign of anxiety
Also as you said her take it its your daughter so have you thought of the change??
My nearly 10yr old is going threw the moodiness certain time every month and belly aches

**The Juggler** · 17-04-2013, 09:15 PM

My dd (now 11) always has had tummy aches since she was about 5. I have 2 reasons for it - firstly, anxieties (that one seems likely hon in your case given the reluctance to go to school sometimes) and the other glands in the tummy area after viruses and other illnesses (sore throats in particular).

I wouldn't mention the tummy ache to parents unless they ask or unless you actually think there is a bug or something similar that she has

**teacakepenguin** · 17-04-2013, 09:16 PM

Hi, yes I'd thought of the fact it could be the onset of things going on inside, although she's been like this for a while now, and yes she's quite an anxious and tearful kind of person sometimes.

I've only been minding for less than a month and it's only my friend's 2 boys who are at school at the moment, and she's been like this for a good while now, it's just what she's like, she's really quite a dramatic little thing when she wants to be.

As I say, almost all of the time it's just her getting herself worked up, she's learning how to deal with her anxiety and seems to just want space and to relax, and yes she'd probably like to not go to school sometimes but I don't allow that to happen unless she's actually ill - although school are very good at phoning me if she's really not coping and most of the time I'm not far away if need be. It isn't normally illness tho, I know it's anxiety or stress, and I do what I can to support her (she is improving, I think!).

So, do some of you carry on minding if you have a sick older child, if you know they won't disturb you downstairs? I would feel bad doing that, but also I'm sure the parents wouldn't want me to not look after their children if at all possible, as well as me not wanting to lose money.

Thanks
Jx

**supermumy** · 17-04-2013, 09:21 PM

If my older ones are off with mild sickness I carry on or shall I say tell the parents and they can make the choice to bring them which they usally do! As thier upstairs with DVDs etc
Younger ones again I would give the choice if mild but they will be on the sofa luckly my little ones havnt been sick whilst minding

**The Juggler** · 17-04-2013, 09:33 PM

just re-read all the detail of your post hon. At 10 to have to be peeled off you by the teacher suggests more than a little anxiety. I only say this as my dd went through 2 phases last year and year before about different things. Neither related to school but she was so scared of this fear that she only felt safe at home and with me. having a similar one now, but she is managing to get to school ok. She gets manically worried about litlte things such as should she do homework on a separate sheet or in the answer book and frets over getting into trouble for doing it wrong no matter how much I reassure her it won't be a problem.

Is there any specific anxieties she has or does she worry over everything? See if you can pinpoint it a little.

I would ask the school if there is an attached Family support worker to talk to and/or a teacher trained in emotional support (most schools do have them now). I also recommend a great book the Ed Psych recommended for my DS which I also used for DD. It's called 'What to do when you worry too much - a book for kids who worry too much'. About a tenner on Amazon, it's great.

**teacakepenguin** · 18-04-2013, 06:28 AM

Hi Juggler,

Thanks for the book recommendation, that sounds good. I talk to her teachers about it a lot, and she's improved greatly from last year, when at one point her thoughts were really very negative and I spent a lot of time talking to the teachers and supporting her. She loves school but finds the other children stressful, but they've offered her loads of coping strategies so that seems to be working as well. There is a big hefty amount of drama in it, it's her way, and I'm happy it's being dealt with. I talk a lot to her dad too and when she's at his she gets good support there too.

Thanks
Jx

**smurfette** · 18-04-2013, 07:38 AM

I kept my dd aged 11 off school the other day as she was up with tummy ache in the night, I think at that age they are prone to pre menstrual type cramps, she was well in every other way and could have gone to school as tummy was better but she was so tired I left her to go back to sleep. I didnt see any need to mention it to parents but one spotted her school bag in the hall and asked after her, so I told them above. She gets them every now and again too, and I am sure that babies do too they just can't tell us! My youngest dd has constipation problems so now and again she is off too.. I think you know your own child and unless she is vomiting or diarrohea wouldn't worry about telling parents. Not really their business!

**The Juggler** · 18-04-2013, 09:06 AM

Originally Posted by teacakepenguin

Hi Juggler,

Thanks for the book recommendation, that sounds good. I talk to her teachers about it a lot, and she's improved greatly from last year, when at one point her thoughts were really very negative and I spent a lot of time talking to the teachers and supporting her. She loves school but finds the other children stressful, but they've offered her loads of coping strategies so that seems to be working as well. There is a big hefty amount of drama in it, it's her way, and I'm happy it's being dealt with. I talk a lot to her dad too and when she's at his she gets good support there too.

Thanks
Jx

I'm glad school are on board hon. like your dd, mine has a dramatic way about her - I think that is part and parcel of the anxiety - she is either very high/happy or very low/worried. do try the book though it is good. xx

**lisbet** · 18-04-2013, 12:49 PM

Originally Posted by The Juggler

I'm glad school are on board hon. like your dd, mine has a dramatic way about her - I think that is part and parcel of the anxiety - she is either very high/happy or very low/worried. do try the book though it is good. xx

Everything Juggler said! ^ I'm going to get that book for my daughter too, thanks for the recommendation