do i use a bucket of cold water????? GRRRRRRRRRR

**ziggy** · 12-04-2013, 06:26 AM

My friend uses a local lady as a daily nanny, she is really lovely and we have got to know each other quite well at toddlers etc

Anyway lady is off to a wedding today so i am taking youngest child (he will be 3 in July). I have minded A and his older sisters a few times over last 3 yrs and mummy is quite difficult at times

Late last night i got a text from mummy saying not to let A sleep today, not even for 5mins as nanny had let him sleep 30mins and he was still up at 10pm and wouldnt go to bed. I was advised to 'keep him away from any sofas' and she was very very angry with nanny

I text back that in 34 yrs i had never learnt how to keep a tired child awake plus it wouldnt be allowed by social services (i'm in northern ireland). I offered to do my best to keep him occupied but couldnt prevent him from falling asleep.

So just wondered do any other minders have this problem? And if so, how do you keep a tired 2yr old awake? I was gonna suggest throwing a bucket of cold water over him if he climbs on sofa n falls asleep

**~Grasshopper~** · 12-04-2013, 06:45 AM

My new mum tried this she said her 16mth old didnt have naps. Day 1 the poor thing fell asleep with his face in his lunch!!!!.

I now put him down at 10am for an hours nap and he is a different child. Tell her if he needs a nap then he will have one. I would try to put him down for one before lunch then it shouldnt impact on his bedtime.

xx

**MessybutHappy** · 12-04-2013, 06:47 AM

Did she reply to your texts? Silly, silly, silly. I'm a firm believer that sleep aids sleep, children get overtired and thats why they can't sleep at night. Perhaps some articles on how to help your childs night routine are whats need!!!

**Daftbat** · 12-04-2013, 06:47 AM

The mother is being ridiculous! The reason he is up so late probably has more to do with the bedtime routine or lack of one - at home with her!

If a child is tired then they need to sleep - end of!!!!!!

**sonyach** · 12-04-2013, 06:48 AM

Yes I have, I was asked to keep a lo awake for 2 days and only let nap for 30 min on other days, as was staying up.This poor little one was exhausted and I'm sorry but I let lo sleep parents even commented on how lo sleeping at night had improved lo was going down on time and sleeping through. I do believe forcing children to stay awake only makes them overtired, they only sleep if needed.
Well done to you for putting her straight

**ziggy** · 12-04-2013, 07:06 AM

messy: she replied that he sleeps at night when she's at home but on days he's with nanny he never sleeps. Knowing this mummy quite well i just think she needs to be firmer with him at bed time.

I have also just heard that she was giving a 'telling off' from her boss yesterday, so i'm wondering if her stress levels after a day at work have an effect on child's behaviour.

anyway i only have him odd days so wont be worrying over this but if he falls asleep then she will just have to be very very angry with me too

**ozzy10** · 12-04-2013, 07:07 AM

I have this with my 2 year old mindee. He's not allowed a nap as he doesn't go to bed till 10 pm as it is!

I can't force him to stay awake and have explained to mum if he needs a nap he will have one here as it is unfair on him and others to keep him awake.

He's so tired poor little boy but we are busy and on the go all day here but at his favourite things to do are play on the ipad or watch tv!

**Becci26** · 12-04-2013, 07:08 AM

This really gets my goat!

I never understand why parents think keeping their child awake is helpful, if they are tired they will sleep, I do not try and keep them awake if I can see they are flagging, if anything I encourage them to sleep.

I had one lo who's mum preferred him not to sleep in the day so that she could put him to bed early (5/5:30) and have the evening with her hubby!

**Rubybubbles** · 12-04-2013, 07:13 AM

I had a parent like this so I told her in the end to phone the hv as I felt I was getting no where, funny the hv agreed with me at Least an hour and good bed time routine! Made a huge difference x

**mama2three** · 12-04-2013, 07:21 AM

Turn it on its head - tell her of course the child needs a nap in the day if she isnt instilling a good routine and getting him to bed before 10pm. And ill bet the reason he sleeps when mum is at home is that she has had him all day and by early evening is ready for some 'me time' and gets him off to bed at a reasonable hour.

**phoenix2010** · 12-04-2013, 07:29 AM

Blimey when my son was this age he would have a 2 hour morning nap plus a 2 hour afternoon nap and still sleep 12 hours at night

we were actually so concerned at how much he slept that we mentioned it to the GP, but he just said we were lucky and we just had a lazy child , he was joking

but not far wrong

It cruel and actually pretty much impossible to keep an exhausted child awake , this child needs routine

I dont see anything wrong in a nap straight after lunch , as long as hes awake by 2pm then it shouldnt impact on bedtime, of course they are all different but I tend to use that as a starting point

**ziggy** · 12-04-2013, 07:30 AM

She has just phoned on her way to work as nanny is dropping A off here. Apparently she was quite cross with nanny this morning.

Anyway she has suggested i put him down for a nap in the buggy after morning snack (about 10ish)

so i will do this and will chat to her about bed time routine

**jackie 7** · 12-04-2013, 08:10 AM

I will wake children if I can. But they all need a rest during the day. Also she is using your services so she has to go by your policies. Tell her you have to do whatever is best for the child.

**littlemiss60561** · 12-04-2013, 08:14 AM

Aww the poor child! Sleep promotes sleep and so long as they don't have a nap at like 4pm then what's the problem? It effects their development too. And you can't keep a child awake. The longer you try the more time passes and they will simply take their nap closer to bed time.
There's a new program on channel 4 called bedtime live. I know theres tons of advice out there but The website has a sleep survey. Maybe suggest she fills it out. Also tips on routines etc.
although we cannot parent the children it's sad when you see what needs to be done. I bet if her nanny didn't mention he had had a sleep there would be no comment about him not sleeping at night!

**Tinkerbell1979** · 12-04-2013, 12:48 PM

I'm gonna go against the grain here, forgive me. BUT my daughter is 2.5 years old, I can't let her sleep in the day because she won't sleep at night. Every child is different, sleep doesn't induce sleep at night for her. She has a fantastic bedtime routine and goes up to bed at 7.30. If she sleeps at all any time of the day her bedtime routine is mucked up as she's bouncing off the walls, wide awake !!!

**phoenix2010** · 12-04-2013, 01:13 PM

Originally Posted by Tinkerbell1979

I'm gonna go against the grain here, forgive me. BUT my daughter is 2.5 years old, I can't let her sleep in the day because she won't sleep at night. Every child is different, sleep doesn't induce sleep at night for her. She has a fantastic bedtime routine and goes up to bed at 7.30. If she sleeps at all any time of the day her bedtime routine is mucked up as she's bouncing off the walls, wide awake !!!

so how do you keep her awake when shes really tired , or does she happily trot through the day with plenty of energy

I think the difference is if a child is clearly physically and emotionally exhausted, then they need sleep , but not all 2 yr olds do , and if they dont show signs of tiredness then its equally wrong to try to make them nap

**Tinkerbell1979** · 12-04-2013, 01:16 PM

Some days she's ok but others she is knackered and will fall asleep if she's sitting watching TV during minded babies nap time so I pick her up and chat to her and play, sometimes she cries for a bit others she gets new lease of life!

**littlemiss60561** · 12-04-2013, 01:19 PM

I agree not all children need a nap, my ds gave his up at 1.5 ( sadly!) but to keep him awake may make it worse tonight. I wouldn't make a child sleep but once they go they can really go! Despite a herd of elephants gong past! Good luck!

**ziggy** · 12-04-2013, 01:30 PM

I have another mindee younger than this boy and she never has a day time nap, not even if we're out driving in the car. And i dont have a problem with a child not wanting a day time nap

however if this child falls asleep on the sofa for his nanny he is obviously tired. in 34 yrs of child care i have never been able to stop a child falling asleep. I will happily play with him to distract him but am not willing to 'keep him away from sofas' as requested. To me that is just cruel

Poor lamb has also just realised that if he hits other mindees they may well hit him back or as he found out, may well pull his hair! Oh it's not easy being a 2yr old

**supermumy** · 12-04-2013, 01:55 PM

I've got to agree with tinkerbell I think the mum knows best and a lot of 2yr olds I know will be awake till god knows what time if they sleep during day
If they can't or won't nap at a reasonable time say morning or 12.30 for an hour than I don't let mindees sleep

My 2yr old hasn't sleep in day since she was 1.5 come 4-5 yes she gets tired but she manages with play and interaction come 7pm she is in be Asleep till morning