"house rules"

[teacakepenguin]

Hiah

My situation is that I have only just registered, although I've been looking after my friend's 2 sons for about 18m now free (cos I'm so lovely to her). Therefore my first paying client is her with an 11 and 6 year old boy.

I have 4 children myself, 13y boy, 10y girl, 7.5y girl, 5y boy.

It was suggested to me by my early years lady that it might be a good idea to draw a bit of a line in the sand, as obviously it's kind of hard to start childminding when I've have them for so long already, hard to change the way things are done. She suggested that we all see if we can draw up some "house rules".

I think that's a good idea, and I plan to do so next week when I have them one day for 8 hours (eek! I'm not expecting it to last the whole day lol).

I don't like the wording of the phrase "house rules" tho, it's rather authoritative if you know what I mean. I don't know what else to call it tho.

I was thinking along the lines of chatting about things like computer time, respect for each other, what to do in emergency situation/if someone hurts themselves, who sits where at meal times, going out of the garden, all that sort of thing. These are the common areas we have issues with.

Because they are all a bit older I feel more like I'm running a youth club than childminding, it's quite hard in some ways to aim things at the right level, but I feel this would be helpful so the mindees feel very much a part of the group not just tagging along with my lot. Most behaviour issues come from my 13 year old unfortunately, who is a bit aspergery himself, so having rules will help I'm sure.

Has anyone done things like this with their children and what have you called it, and what else did you talk about?

Thanks!
Jx

[jackie 7]

I have house rules and call them that. There are rules in schools and I feel it helps children to become school ready. It will help your son to have rules as I looked after as a nanny a boy with ADDHD and family had no rules and jr had huge problems at school.

[caz3007]

My DS is in year 5 and his school dont have a long list of rules but they have the <name of his school> seven. These are 7 words such as respectful, good listening, responsible which are the rules the children are expected to comply with rather than a long list with lots to remember.

[Joda]

I have 'house rules' (although I only really have little ones). I have a poster up in my playroom and also enclose a 'house rules' sheet in my 'welcome' pack - I got one of my 10 year old mindee's a couple of years ago to write the rules and also draw pictures too, eg: we take our shoes off, we sit at the table to eat and drink, we don't climb on the furniture, we share and are polite. I photocopy this and give it to parents in the pack - because it is obvious a child has drawn/written it, it doesn't feel like I'm dictating too much!

[hectors house]

You could get the children to design a poster of what things they think should be allowed and what shouldn't (with some guidance maybe!), they all sound old enough to be part of the decision making and even the name of the rules/guidelines.

[teacakepenguin]

That's a great idea to have one of them to draw it up, actually there might be an argument about who does it so we might have to share it out

Thanks for the suggestions, that's the sort of thing I want to not forget

Jx

[shortstuff]

My son has 'rights and responsibilities' at his school. I dont know if that sounds any better for you?

[teacakepenguin]

Do I want the children to know they have rights??! Lol

I think that's a bit closer to what I want to say than rules, it's hard tho. I liked the idea of the themes too, like respect etc, but I would like to put some specifics in too, like take your shoes off type thing. Without it getting too long.

I don't want a lot do I

[jackie 7]

But with rights come responsibilities. You could say something like you have the right not to be hurt but you must not hurt others. (Their responsibility) look at the iUN rights of the child and at the Africian rights of the child. Somewhere there is a great poster of childrens rights. I will look it up tonight.

[teacakepenguin]

Oooh yes I like that, good thinking And thank you! This place is ace

[VeggieSausage]

Whenever a new older mindee starts I sit with everyone at the table when having a snack or doing a craft and say to them that we are going to go through the house rules. I ask them to come up with them - so saying please and thank you, being kind to each other, washing hands after going to the loo etc and then I draw them up and pop them on the notice board....some of the children pride themselves on sticking to the rules

[KatieFS]

I call mine The Golden Rules and try to get the older ones to review them every do often.

[shortstuff]

Its rights in things like ' you have the right to be listened to' and ' you have the right to feel safe and protected' nice things that as grown ups we assume but lo's need to be told. Hth

[MessybutHappy]

What about using the word "Standards" instead? We had these at school, (they were sewn onto flags!), and were short phrases like the rules, but we "lived up" to them rather than "avoided breaking" them if that makes sense? So we had "be kind and respectful", be "trustworthy". You can then have examples, so it's respectful to take shoes off, say please and thank you etc....