Fed up of minding
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  1. #1
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    Default Fed up of minding

    I've only been minding since jan after taking a years career break straight after maternity leave from employer and I think I've had enough. I'm busy and my spaces are full already but I'm really missing adult company even though I hated my previous job. Im finding minding very lonely I do lots with the children but I miss not just being able to pop to friends and family's house as I have all the children who I can't really take with me. I also miss not having days to myself with my own children. Anyone else felt like this? Is it just a phase everyone goes through? X

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  3. #2
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    I am sure most of us will agree that childminding is a hard job, but it doesn't have to be lonely. You have all of us!!!

    I lost touch with a few friends when I started childminding, because, as you say, it is difficult to pop over to someones house with three little ones in tow. But luckily I have found new childminder friends to take their place. I actually found that my social life improved when I started minding. Maybe I am just a bit sad for not having had much of a life before. I go to lots of toddler groups, several times a week and I always sit with the mums or other childminders and have a good chat. I have discovered a great childminding group, where all the minders just drink tea and gossip while the kids play. I'm sure many will frown on this, but I think it is important to find time to socialise.

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  5. #3
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    I have good and bad days.I just remind myself of my previous job when there were a lot more bad days.
    I go to a toddler group that is just for minders - really nice atmosphere and we all help and support each other. I have also made friends with a few minders and we meet up at the park, or visit each other at home. hehe last week I had a morning with no children but still ended up going to see another minder. It makes the job much easier.
    When you miss time with your children, remember that you are seeing them more than if you went out to work.
    I have had on and off battles with my own children over the years, but I always remind them that at least I am at home, that we still come to school events, and that they don't have to go to a childminder.
    It will get better when the weather improves and you can go to the park etc.

  6. #4
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    I felt like this and was going to give up but then I employed an assistant , more kids but the company makes so much difference

  7. #5
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    It can be lonely can't it, but it doesn't have to be. We go to a drop in nearly every day and I've made friends with other mums/ play workers and minders. Could you look into working with someone else? Another minder maybe so you don't need to pay them a wage? The hardest bit I find is my OH Works weekends and My teenager is a teenager, so all week it's me, the kids and then me and my own toddler. Maybe put an message on the local board , see if there's others you could meet up with?
    And yes... I have considered it before!

  8. #6
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    I do feel like that sometimes, I actually look forward to my college night, as I get to talk to other adults, ( almost worth the amount of work have to do when I get in! ) I think if time allows, perhaps some sort of hobby, zumba, adult swim, or anything really as long as it is you time.

  9. #7
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    Have felt this way recently, after a situation with a co minder broke down as we spent a lot of time together. You might find some of your friends who work shifts or are at home with their own little ones may not want a whole troop at their house but they might be happy to come to you or go out and do something.. As pp said when the weather gets better its easier to get out.

    I have recently joined a choir and also play squash one night a week, even though I am tired I feel so much better when I come home, Cos I have had some me time and adult company! Find something uou enjoy and make time for it so it doesn't feel like work work work., also nice to have something to look forward to in the evening!

    How old are your kids!

  10. #8
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    I am lucky cos i have some friends who come to me. I only have one daytime mindie and she naps so they usually pop in when she is asleep and I am also friends with an ex mindies family and although the child I minded is now in school she has another one now and they come over a lot and we go to toddler groups together.

    I also have several groups of friends, one lot via hubbys work (the wives), one lot who are ex parents of mine and through standing at a different school I got to know other mums and another lot who are mums of my sons friends and we socialise quite a bit, so often out for a meal or round to someones house in the evening.

    But I do feel lonely sometimes and find it hard, but once the weather cheers up we go to the park a lot and I talk to anyone

  11. #9
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    Arrange play dates with other minders its the only way - everyone needs company even more so when looking after children I think otherwise it can be isolating and drive you nuts. I am sure there are others in your area feeling the same. I often feel like you and then I think actually I am my own boss and home with my own dd's and so its worth it. ....working in partnership with someone is something I would quite like to do....

  12. #10
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    Roll on the nice weather then :-) hopefully that'll make a diff. I've got a 1 year old and 3 year old so will see it out over the next 6 months and if nothing changes I might go back to work now my little one is older and my eldest will be going full time come September. I've not been very well lately so don't know whether this has something to do with the way I'm feeling. X

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  14. #11
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    I'm feeling a bit lonely too at the moment - I have been going to a toddler group on a Monday for about 5 years but am the only childminder, so each year as children go off to school the parents I used to talk to vanish but there is normally someone else who I can have an occasional chat with and make new friends - but since Sept I have really struggled, hardly anyone who still goes talks to me and I keep telling myself I'm going for the mindees not me but to be honest on a Monday I have 4 mindees so they have plenty of other children to play with at home, the crafts we do at home are far better organised and I'm just hoping the weather will improve so we can get out on some nice walks soon.

    I know when I minded when my youngest daughter was small that I resented that I couldn't arrange to meet up with the new friends I made at toddlers at their house as they didn't want me turning up with 3 under 5, so I managed to cut back so I had a half day off and tried to make that our day for meeting friends, is this something you could look at doing?

    My middle daughter has just had a baby and is only taking 8 weeks maternity leave, I live about 30 mins away and would love to visit during the week but her house isn't child proof yet so difficult to visit with the mindees - I normally have Thursdays off but have a course this week, I just want to cuddle my grandson as he is going to grow up so quickly. I won't be looking after him as the logistics of where I live and my daughter works just don't work out, but I hope to go and collect him one day a week.

    Sorry to have hijacked the post - hope things improve for you soon missyl20 - just try to make a few small changes and see if you feel any happier.

  15. #12
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    Childminding can be very lonely but it has it's plus side - being able to go where you like every day and not having to travel somewhere to work, also not answering to anyone but yourself (to a certain extent).

    When I started 14 years ago I had no experience of childminding at all (although 4 children of my own). I spent the first 3 years working completely alone - I had no idea there were toddler groups around. Eventually I met another childminder and we used to meet up most mornings, either to go to the park or groups or each others houses. Suddenly the job was more fun and sociable where I met lots of new friends, some childminders and some mums or grans. It's great and I wouldn't change anything - but even with that I think we all get a bit fed up from time to time, but then everybody does whatever job we do!

  16. #13
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    Ah thank you, you are all so nice on here. :-) I need to meet other childminders! I have a huge family and lots of friends with children but like I said I can't expect to go to their houses with all the mindee's. I was really enjoying it at the beginning but I've come to a bit of a halt x

  17. #14
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    It can be a very isolating job , this is what I did

    I set up a facebook page for local childminders and spread the word , at the moment there are 23 of us on there , we chat and meet up , share ideas , ask for advice

    Ive organised something for red nose day and lots of them are coming

    I find its better to try and build up a group of childminders rather than only spending time with one or two , as there is always someone to meet up with , I dont always feel like it , but its nice to know others are there if you want some adult company , and they dont mind you turning up with lots of children , because they have lots too

    we meet at groups and soft play centres and when the weather improves we plan to have meets in parks and organise teddy bear picnics etc

    We also met occasionally on an evening and share a glass of wine while we help each other with paperwork , obs etc

    Hopefully soon we will manage a night out , no childminder talk and no child talk

    I am lucky that I live in a fairly built up area with a lot of minders , it was harder when I lived in a village

    Is this something you feel you could do , it has worked really well , I set up the page in September so it hasnt taken long

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  19. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by MISSYL20 View Post
    Ah thank you, you are all so nice on here. :-) I need to meet other childminders! I have a huge family and lots of friends with children but like I said I can't expect to go to their houses with all the mindee's. I was really enjoying it at the beginning but I've come to a bit of a halt x
    But then your friends and family could come to yours!
    Need a laugh? Visit my website: www.unclegargy.deviantART.com

  20. #16
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    Your not alone on this one I have been minding for four years I have found it extremely isolating and very lonely some times I go to groups but am shy myself and find it difficult to fit in groups that have already formed but I do keep trying and am slowly getting there. The children are worth it :-)

  21. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1michelle View Post
    Your not alone on this one I have been minding for four years I have found it extremely isolating and very lonely some times I go to groups but am shy myself and find it difficult to fit in groups that have already formed but I do keep trying and am slowly getting there. The children are worth it :-)
    That's like me :-( which area are you from? It's a pitty if we were loving close we could meet up and form our own little group x

  22. #18
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    I felt the same until I made friends with the other Childminders in my area and now we do .. once a week or so, go round to the others houses to spend some time in adult company and the children always enjoy having lunch somewhere new too

  23. #19
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    Im glad i found this thread, as i feel the same some days to!! I love minding i really do ... but some days (especially when hubby is on nights, he does a week on week off) i feel very lonely!

    I really want to make more of an effort to come on this forum as i dont have many other CM friends ... but i get kinda lost with it all lol Just out of interest ... is there anyone on this thread from Warwickshire?

    Anyway, i hope this has all made you feel that its not just you :-) And also, i find remembering why i actually started childminding in the first placealways helps me through any bad days. xx

 

 

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