How would you deal with this one?

[melco]

Hi,

I look after two 5 yr old boys before school twice a week. I have them sometimes on their own which is fine but Mondays and Thursdays I have them both together. Normally the only problems I have had with them in the mornings is them not getting ready (putting shoes on etc) so just had to hurry them up a bit, but this week they have been playing games that I am not happy about.

They have been running around my house with toys that they have been using as pretend guns and saying they are going to kill people, mainly my 2 daughters. I have explained that I do not like that talk or game in my house, this happened on Monday and they were doing it again today.

So this morning they had been playing the game and running and I had to tell them on numerous occasions to stop it and they messed around getting shoes and coats on, so as we were about to leave I had a word with them. I explained that I want them to have fun when they get here but if they are not going to follow the rules of the house and have to keep telling them off all the time then its not going to be fun for them or me, I explained that it is my house and they need to follow my rules, so no more pretend guns, no talk of killing, no running and when I say to get shoes on etc they get on and do it.

I think I need to have a word with parents but am never any good at wording things, any help would be appreciated, also feel guilty so hope I have not been too harsh

Thanks

melco

[shortstuff]

If thats your rules you need to stand by what you have said. Maybe tell them what the consequenses are if the behaviour continues. I wouldnt mention it to the parents yet as you need to give them a chance to correct their actions.
Thats just how i would handle it hth

[mazza58]

I think the way you dealt with it sounds good to me, children have been told the house rules and whilst at school they would not be allowed to do this so why should they do it at your house, I am sure if you keep telling them they will get the message if not then I would have a word with their parents so that you can work together on this issue.

[mushpea]

You felt with it well, I would just mention to patents you've had a word with them because if it then continues parents won't be so shocked when you do have to have a serious word you may also find they are on board with it, if it continues I would sit them down and find an activity the both enjoy then make a 'face chart' if they are good and listen then they get a smiley face if they are not listening or behaving they get a sad face, if they have more smiley faces than sad faces they get to do the nice activity at a time or day you agree on so could be the next time they are together or perhaps for their last half hour of the day, my lot its baking on a Friday but they are here everyday after school, most weeks they all get to do the activity but sometimes one of them has to miss out then they soon.learn and behave again

[Tazmin68]

You delta with it fine. I have the gun issue with my own 4 year old. He will put Lego together or anything lose to use as a pretend gun it drives me mad. We have an Xbox and my two either play minecraft, adventures and angry birds and whenever my oldest son try's to connect with school friends they are always playing halo or another 18 rated games which we not allow. It really annoys me that parents allow 9 year olds to play 18 rated games

[melco]

Thank you so much for your replies, I felt guilty speaking to the boys this morning and decided to speak to their parents.

I only have them for morning school run so roughly 30-40mins at my house and some of that is spent having btreakfast.

I felt really nervous speaking to their parents but it went much better that I thought it was and one of their Dads as asked me to come and speak to their Son when they are in trouble as I got a better reaction from him then they do when they get told off. So all sorted and I can not relax.

Thanks again

Melco

[shortstuff]

Well done, hopefully it will give you more confidence for next time there is anything going on :-)