Naughty child

[Littleglees]

I have a boy who starts reception in September, currently at nursery.

He is really naughty and last night I had to shout at him as he ran off from me, when I told mum she just said "o dear" at school this morning he did the same and came back filthy !!!

I'm worried that people will think I'm a bad childminder :-( I've told my hubby that I'm going to give it a few more weeks and if no better i will have to break the contract as his behaviour is now rubbing of on to my own toddler :-(

Has anyone had the same situation and if so what can I do ? I've booked onto behaviour course but think its past that !!! All the children talk about him !!

Sarah's Jellytots x

[FussyElmo]

So the child is 3/4.

Ok you need to put strict boundaries in place you cannot have a child running away from you. You need to tell mum until you feel that the child can walk nicely he will be put onto reins.

Without being "funny" perhaps be careful with the word naughty its really not considered an acceptable word anymore as its the behaviour not the child. Its very easy to label child like you say all the other children talk about him.

I think the behaviour course could be a good place to get some help for his behaviours but if he hasnt had strict boundaries in place before he will take some getting used to them.

Tell mum reins for walking and its not up for discussion

[Littleglees]

Thank you :-)

Parents have split so I'm gathering he plays one against each other but he is terrible with mum as well, to the extent that even I cringe :-(

Half term is coming up and ill have him all week all day and to be honest I'm scared about the little ones that will be in my care.

My friend (fellow childminder) has seen a strap on eBay which I might look into however I don't want others thinking I'm cruel, it's a no win situation :-(.

Hoping the course pays of, there are two both on webinar which I'm doing.

Sarah's Jellytots x

[jackie 7]

You are not being cruel. Most straps are easy up pull off. I use reins with one strap undone so the have a bit more room. Show them to him and say that he is old enough to understand but when you tell him to stay with you he must. If he runs away there is no seccond chance. It won't take long. You need to be firm and have set boundaries. I use a thinking spot a lot! Getting into habits of blaming the behaviour not the child is hard but a useful way of talking.

[dette]

i have a 5 yr old who is now very good at walking beside the pram but when i got her at almost 4 she was a nightmare ,but i put her in a backpack with a strap attatched and she wore this everytime we left the house,she soon learned that there was no escaping from me.now 18mth later ,shes in reception class and i dont need the backpack anymore .she is still a nightmare for her dad but at least she behaves for me and thats all i'm bothered about .i'd recomend getting the kind with the extra safety catch as some LO this age can easily open the regular kind.i hook the handle over the buggy handle then get LO to hold the strap.total control !!!

[moggy]

You can get some very grown up looking rucksack-style reins, I think eBay had some grey bat wings ones!

[dette]

You can get some very grown up looking rucksack-style reins, I think eBay had some grey bat wings ones!

theyre the ones i use.i have a turtle ,a bee and 3 plain hiker style ones .theyre called littlelife

[Littleglees]

Thank you all ;-) xx

Sarah's Jellytots x

[Loushah]

I am having the same problem myself, I look after 2 4 y/o twins who have always been very good at holding my hand, however, had another 4 y/o boy started and he just don't listen and runs off. On the school run yesterday twins happy holding hands, 4 y/o boy and 6 y/o boy decided to ignore me and run off, twins let go of my hand and ran off too in a busy car park with a car coming straight towards them...I shouted very loud 'stop now and move to the wall', which they did and told them in no uncertain terms that this was totally unacceptable, explained the dangers to them (all parents looking over)...I asked them all to apologise and agree that they won't do it again. I was in absolute shock that it happened and they were well behaved afterwards.

I think I am going to have to get some reins for them even though they shouldn't need them, but, just can't have that happen again....heaven forbid that they do it again and it ends up with one of them getting knocked over, I would never forgive myself.

[Littleglees]

We had words tonight and the walk home was sensible, did say that in the morning as I would have babies he would need to hold the pushchair, looked at me like I was mad !!!

Worst thing is one of the other childminders, who I told about the incident yesterday and asking for advice said , " O yes I did hear something" marvellous now I feel that all parents will be talking about "that childminder" on the playground :-(

Sarah's Jellytots x

[SammySplodger]

Can 100% vouch for 'novelty' animal backpacks with straps, I had a 3 YO who was dreadful near roads... resisted traditional reins, but looooved his turtle backpack. We used to spend a good ten mins packing small teddies and light toys inside.

[TAZ]

Road safety & disappearing off is non-negotiable due to safety. If a child does not understand or refuses to act in a safe manner then we as childminders have a duty to the child & their parents to take measures to keep them safe. If this means reins, always holding hands or the pushchair then that is what must happen.

[izzy23]

As everyone else has said, consistency is key, explaining why you need to put safety measures in place to the child obviously in language appropriate for mindee and to parent. But yeah have boundaries and consistently enforce them, if you can get parents/home to back you up, so much the better but wherever i have dealt with behavioral issues its always been the repetition of the boundaries being set that have made the difference. So that and you know, rewards, praise etc and see how it goes...

[Maza]

We had words tonight and the walk home was sensible, did say that in the morning as I would have babies he would need to hold the pushchair, looked at me like I was mad !!!

Worst thing is one of the other childminders, who I told about the incident yesterday and asking for advice said , " O yes I did hear something" marvellous now I feel that all parents will be talking about "that childminder" on the playground :-(

Sarah's Jellytots x

Don't think that! They were probably talking about the child, not you. You have done nothing wrong. Just let him know that running off is not an option at all. Lots of children around here wear reins so don't worry about people thinking you are cruel - it would be more cruel to let the behaviour continue and him ending up seriously hurt or worse. Just remember to praise him when he does follow your walking rules. x

[Littleglees]

Thank you :-) x

Sarah's Jellytots x