Feel vey unappritiated

**bernesewalking** · 21-12-2012, 08:53 AM

Mindee of 2 years care has just turned up with my Christmas pressie.... A 99p bag of minstrels to share with the family! Feel quite sad that after all the work I've done i'm not thought very highly of! perhaps it's just me

**VeggieSausage** · 21-12-2012, 09:19 AM

Put it out of your mind, it isn't the cost of the gift involved it is the thought. She could have brought nothing, she may not have any money, they may not spend much on Christmas in their family - what amount of money do you think she should have spent? Not criticising you at all I understand how you feel, but I sometimes think that we as childminders because of the nature of our job, to care for their child and give all we can to them, that we see ourselves differently to the parents who are paying us to care for their child. Not that they do not appreciate it and value us and understand what we do but they are also doing this with their child and they are paying us to do our job, so at Christmas a small token of thanks is ok I think.....hope that doesn't sound critical or judgemental - I am guilty of feeling the same sometimes, but I have to remember it is my job and I can think to myself I have done a good job looking after all those children, something worthwhile......(apologies have gone off on one rather!) x

**JCrakers** · 21-12-2012, 09:24 AM

Don't let it worry you..

I didn't get anything off my family that have been attending 14m. I bought both their children presents even though one only comes in school hols.
Some people don't think about it, others can't afford it. Xmas is a very expensive time

**caz3007** · 21-12-2012, 09:26 AM

I have had this before, I bent over backwards for a year looking after a little boy whilst his mum was in college. On the day he left I didnt even get a thank you although she had boxes of maltesers for the people at her placement.

But I just let it slide, and she wasnt paying me, Care2learn were. But some people are just like that

**littlelollies** · 21-12-2012, 11:36 AM

As long as you know you are doing a good job I wouldn't worry treat your self to a glass of wine and sat yourself on the back.

I was a little upset on my birthday when I didn't even get a card of any of the 7 parents I have!! When I buy for the children at Christmas and birthdays and make cards and a cake for the children to take home on parents birthdays....i have hardened to it now and expreat nothing then something arrives and its a nice surprise

**Tazmin68** · 21-12-2012, 12:12 PM

I just would not worry about it. Some people cannot afford to and others just do not think. I have 10 children in total on my books and I have received a present from two. They all had an advent calendar end November and a small Christmas present.

**Helen79** · 21-12-2012, 01:04 PM

From a parent's point of view, my kids wanted to buy their teachers some chocolates for xmas so we bought a small bag each at £1.50 which ended up costing me £6 just on choccies for their teachers.
It doesn't sound a lot but I had to buy party food for their school xmas party as well and the amount of money I've had to throw at school the last few weeks has been ridiculous, at least £20 for various trips, mufti days, raffles etc. Unfortunately as much as I appreciate them and think they do a brilliant job with my kids when they're in school I just couldn't afford to spend more than £1.50 on their teachers too.
I haven't had anything off any parents, although one family have bought my own children presents which is lovely of them.

**hectors house** · 21-12-2012, 01:44 PM

I think if I was you I would feel a little miffed not by the value of the gift but that not much effort has gone into choosing it - I would have prefered some homemade biscuits or Xmas card from the children, but at least they did get you something, I have a couple of presents under my tree but one mum is expecting a baby any time so haven't got even a card (would have thought that after 4 weeks maternity leave she would have had time to write one).

I'm feeling guilty as my daughter used to get loads of Xmas tip money when she did a paper round, but I don't tip anyone at Christmas - saw a present on a rubbish bin down our road, with a note on it for the recycling people, now thinking I may put a note on door thanking the Post lady and the milk man - but won't be giving them a tip.

**bernesewalking** · 21-12-2012, 02:03 PM

Like Hector's house said its the fact no thought went into it, it's not about lack of money on their part, they are in very good high earning jobs and I have bent over backwards to help them,again it's just no thought on their part that maybe hurts more than the price they've paid.

**helena_j** · 21-12-2012, 02:21 PM

I had a nice lush box of goodies and my little boy has a gift from my family of full time children I mind they are the only family I have and I really did not expect anything at all so was a lovely surprise. I wouldn't have been at all offended if I had got nothing more than a card as they pay me for a service which in itself costs them enough. I have previously nannied and found it more offensive in that job not to have a thank you gift from some families as most of them were not short on pennies lol.

**nikki thomson** · 21-12-2012, 02:34 PM

A thanku goes a long way, I agree with a couple of the posts it's not the value it's the fact u feel no thought has gone into it.
Last year I got nothing not even a card and I had been looking after mindee 10hrs day 5 days a week and she was on a good wage so it wasn't money and I didn't expect anything tbh as she wasn't that sort of person.
Roll on 12 months the mindee I have this year who has only been with me a few weeks but who's mum is so happy she found me (very upset she had to return to work after maternity) came yesterday with a Huge bouquet of flowers, a gift bag for me and one each for the children, such a lovely lovely lady and so grateful for everything I do with her lo.
I think alot just depends on what type of people they are it doesn't necessarily mean they don't care but its nice to feel appreciated, it's such a hard job sometimes. X

**JCrakers** · 21-12-2012, 09:40 PM

The thing with this job is a lot of us do much more than just look after the children.
We could just look after the children, do a bit of paperwork here and there and that's it. But a lot of us go that extra mile for the children and families, we like to see them happy, enjoying themselves. We buy exciting toys, crafts, we love to see their faces when they are excited and happy.
We agree to extra minutes free of charge, we don't charge when parents are 10mins late stuck in traffic, we care for sick children and wait patiently for parents to pick up.
We build strong bonds with the children, feeling like part of the family and although we don't expect a gift it is quite upsetting when we don't get anything to say thanks for what you do. Even a little handmade card that says happy Christmas and thankyou.
It's just human nature to feel upset because the job we do is so caring and its hard to understand when other people aren't so caring.

**hectors house** · 21-12-2012, 10:55 PM

Originally Posted by JCrakers

The thing with this job is a lot of us do much more than just look after the children.
We could just look after the children, do a bit of paperwork here and there and that's it. But a lot of us go that extra mile for the children and families, we like to see them happy, enjoying themselves. We buy exciting toys, crafts, we love to see their faces when they are excited and happy.
We agree to extra minutes free of charge, we don't charge when parents are 10mins late stuck in traffic, we care for sick children and wait patiently for parents to pick up.
We build strong bonds with the children, feeling like part of the family and although we don't expect a gift it is quite upsetting when we don't get anything to say thanks for what you do. Even a little handmade card that says happy Christmas and thankyou.
It's just human nature to feel upset because the job we do is so caring and its hard to understand when other people aren't so caring.

Just got a text that is worth all the presents says "you work so hard to look after all your children, you treat them like your own, the bond X has with you is so strong, I couldn't ask for more - thank you"

**silvermist** · 21-12-2012, 11:56 PM

Originally Posted by hectors house

I think if I was you I would feel a little miffed not by the value of the gift but that not much effort has gone into choosing it - I would have prefered some homemade biscuits or Xmas card from the children, but at least they did get you something, I have a couple of presents under my tree but one mum is expecting a baby any time so haven't got even a card (would have thought that after 4 weeks maternity leave she would have had time to write one).

I'm feeling guilty as my daughter used to get loads of Xmas tip money when she did a paper round, but I don't tip anyone at Christmas - saw a present on a rubbish bin down our road, with a note on it for the recycling people, now thinking I may put a note on door thanking the Post lady and the milk man - but won't be giving them a tip.

I always give my postman a christmas card with £5 inside. We live on a hill and he has to either climb our garden steps or walk up our long drive, lugging all my parcels( im always buying stuff off amazon!

)etc. I think its important to show you appreciate it. x

**Chimps Childminding** · 22-12-2012, 09:36 AM

Originally Posted by silvermist

I always give my postman a christmas card with £5 inside. We live on a hill and he has to either climb our garden steps or walk up our long drive, lugging all my parcels( im always buying stuff off amazon!

)etc. I think its important to show you appreciate it. x

We used to give our milk man £5 in a christmas card!!! he never ever let us down whatever the weather!!! Sadly he's retired now so we have to get it from the supermarket, and they get enough of my money so I'm not tipping them

**pinkbutterfly** · 22-12-2012, 11:54 AM

I never got anything for Christmas except this year where 4 families gave us some chocolates and wine. I don't expect anything more than being paid on time and the correct amount throughout the year. I don't want anybody to think they have to buy us something as I know some families struggle anyway and especially around Christmas. I don't really get why you're disappointed. Sorry.

**Jenna** · 22-12-2012, 11:54 AM

I feel the same too I have 6 children on my books and its my first Christmas as a childminder. I putt loads of effort in we've been to visit Santa, I had a Christmas party for everyone and we've done loads of art and craft. Each child had a gift bag full of things to take home along with a Christmas present and I didn't even get a thank you off most of them. One parent even said did they really have to take it home. Felt really down when everyone had gone.

**The Juggler** · 22-12-2012, 12:31 PM

Originally Posted by VeggieSausage

Put it out of your mind, it isn't the cost of the gift involved it is the thought. She could have brought nothing, she may not have any money, they may not spend much on Christmas in their family - what amount of money do you think she should have spent? Not criticising you at all I understand how you feel, but I sometimes think that we as childminders because of the nature of our job, to care for their child and give all we can to them, that we see ourselves differently to the parents who are paying us to care for their child. Not that they do not appreciate it and value us and understand what we do but they are also doing this with their child and they are paying us to do our job, so at Christmas a small token of thanks is ok I think.....hope that doesn't sound critical or judgemental - I am guilty of feeling the same sometimes, but I have to remember it is my job and I can think to myself I have done a good job looking after all those children, something worthwhile......(apologies have gone off on one rather!) x

i agree hon. lots of people are very hard up at the moment. I would love to have something than nothing at all. in fact I would love just a card with a heartfelt message to show appreciation rather than any present (nice as they are)

maybe their child chose it for you?

**karensmart4** · 22-12-2012, 05:13 PM

Do you think the child chose the present for you? If it's what they wanted to give you, then it's lovely

**FussyElmo** · 22-12-2012, 05:34 PM

Originally Posted by karensmart4

Do you think the child chose the present for you? If it's what they wanted to give you, then it's lovely

Thats it really you wont know so you have to look at it positively.

My mindees mum was grinning when she gave me my present as mindee wanted to buy me a bag of flour as she said i would use that

and the thing is I would have loved it because she thought of me. Mum decided she wasnt buying me flour though