sofa 'rules' question.

[LittleLegsCM]

lame title but didnt really know what else to put lol.

Can I ask what your rules are in regards to how mindees sit on your sofa?
I know this is a really daft thing to ask but I just want to find out if Im being too soft as I have a 9yo mindee who, over the past few weeks, has started coming in in the mornings and sprawling himself across one of the sofas. I wasnt too bothered about him laying down at first as he gets here at 7am so may be tired etc and its only him & his brother before school but its not just laying down now its more 'slobbing' if that makes sense without sounding offensive? (its really hard to describe without taking & posting pictures tbh lol).

so, what do you do???

[miffy]

As long as they're not jumping on it I don't mind. It sounds as though the child is tired - probably late night/early morning to get to you for 7am?

Miffy xx

[moogster1a]

As long as he shifts if I or someone else wants to sit down I can't see the problem
( do you think he makes your room look untidy?!)

[FussyElmo]

Don't mind them sitting on it. I tell them to move up if others want to sit down

[adele1985]

as long as they arnt bouncing up and down on it i dont minde if they lay down

[QualityCare]

No shoes, no jumping or standing, children can relax i.e tuck feet up comfortable, feet are not used to push, kick or prevent another child sitting. Sofa,s and chairs are for sitting, floors are for playing and dancing, garden is for running, pavements and shops are for walking, all children are taught this from an early age.

[LittleLegsCM]

( do you think he makes your room look untidy?!)

In a small way, yes, but not in an OCD, everything has to be perfect type of way because I'm no where near that (dont think you can be as a cm lol).

As I said, I didnt mind him just laying there but its not just laying now. again, its hard to describe but favourites seem to be him laying on his back one leg bent with his foot on the sofa and his other leg crossed over in the air, hands behind his head type of thing OR half hanging off the sofa on his front so one arm & leg are hanging off.
I dont even get time to do that on my own sofa LOL x

[mushpea]

mine can lay or sit as long as they arent preventing others from sitting, both schoolies got banned from the sofas the other day as they were delbiratly taking up all the room so the 2yrold couldnt join them,
mine cant jump or climb on them, as long as they are sitting sensibly then they can use them, oh and they are not allowed to put the foot rests up cause I have visions of loosing a child under them
If you dont mind him laying on the sofa then I dont see a problem as long as you prehaps explain to him that its fine whilst its just him and theres room but when there are more children who want to sit then he wold have to make room

[lynnfi]

I think I can figure out what you mean. It's an "indescribable" feeling isn't it?

But it means the child is comfortable with you, that's a real positive.

My trick would be to provide him with a big blanket that he can cover himself with, to snuggle a bit more and be warm

[silvermist]

No shoes, no jumping or standing, children can relax i.e tuck feet up comfortable, feet are not used to push, kick or prevent another child sitting. Sofa,s and chairs are for sitting, floors are for playing and dancing, garden is for running, pavements and shops are for walking, all children are taught this from an early age.

Exactly the same in my house. Im happy for los to lay on sofa, I think it shows they are comfortable. I once took a photo of one of my los chilling out on the sofa and put it in his LJ. His Mum said it is her favourite picture as it shows he feels at home. xx

[AliceK]

Well a while ago I banned all mindees from my lounge which was used as a quiet room, not a playroom, as no matter what their age they would not sit nicely on my sofas in there. My throws and cushions would end up all over the floor. Yes I am a bit OCD about my throws and cushions . But I do have a sofa in the playroom. This also has a throw and cushions on it but not expensive ones so I don't really mind what they do in there but for safety reasons no jumping on or off the sofa. The way I see it is the mindees have plenty of space downstairs to play but my lounge is MY room, not a playroom so as they can't do as they are asked to in there they are no longer allowed in there.

xxxxx

[winstonian]

I have an 8 year old ds and he doesnt seem to be able to "sit" anymore, neither do any mindees of a similar age, hes either upside down with his legs in the air or over the back of the settee or his body is on the floor and his legs are on the settee, i've kind of learnt to ignore it as long as they move up for others and sdont jump or stand on it im now flexible (although not as flexible as some of them)!

[Pipsqueak]

i have big issues with my 9yr old mindee 'slobbing' over my sofas so that others can't fit on. he often gets banned of the sofas and has to sit on the beanbag.

other rules - no jumping, bouncing on or off the sofa, no drawing, scratching etc...

[chriss]

This may sound a bit odd, but do you see it as sort of a disrespectful thing, like being too much at home ?? I am all for making yourself at home, of course we want kids to be relaxed and at ease, etc etc, but I can see what you mean. By all means put your feet up, be comfy, but I wouldnt want my child lolling around on someones sofa like that. Its a bit like saying make yourself at home, and then that person taking it too far. Maybe a gentle word, or deliberately go and sit down for a bit so they cant sprawl quite so much.

[little chickee]

My opinion is that if it annoys you then ask him not to do it.
Yes he's all relaxed and comfortable but quite often its the small things that irk and niggle away and end up causing resentment.

I find i can deal perfectly well with "big" behaviour issues but its the small, silly things that end up causing me irritation.

So ask him to sit on the sofa nicely - not bolt upright or anything but in a sensible , respectful manner that doesnt bug you!

[Helen Dempster]

same as the others really, I don't let them bounce on it and they have to take their shoes off before they sit on it, but that's all.

[Nik1971]

I totally understand, I had a ten year old mindee a few years back that would come in,kick back and sprawl on the sofa resting his feet on my coffee table!
I think it's disrespectful to behave that way in somebody else's house, I wouldn't let my own adult children do that!