Mindee threatened me today

**Valencia** · 10-09-2012, 03:29 PM

So my 4 (almost 5) year old mindee (who likes to get his own way) basically told me today that if I made him do anything he didn't want to do e.g. clear up his mess after drawing, toys etc he would tell his mum that I pinched him.

I was mortified!

What do I do? I am planning to tell his mum about it and log in daily diary, but I can't believe how some children can be these days. Is there anything else I should do?

**Playmate** · 10-09-2012, 03:48 PM

Log it as a concern and get the parent to sign it tonight. Personally I would tell the parent that I will not be threatened and if anything else is said you will be terminating the contract with immediated effect.

Pipsqueak · 10-09-2012, 03:54 PM

I would be coming down heavy on this and exactly what Playmate said.
Log as a concern - tell parent and get them to sign (if parent won't sign - note on it in front of them they they won't)
ensure they know that you will not tolerate being threatened by a minded child - or anyone
and any further incidents for concern you will have no option but to terminate with immediate effect

**gegele** · 10-09-2012, 03:56 PM

just what Pip said

I think that both mindee and parent would see a really black cloud in my unwelcoming eyes!!!

like this at 4 imagine at 16!!!

scary!!

**Valencia** · 10-09-2012, 04:15 PM

Originally Posted by Pipsqueak

I would be coming down heavy on this and exactly what Playmate said.
Log as a concern - tell parent and get them to sign (if parent won't sign - note on it in front of them they they won't)
ensure they know that you will not tolerate being threatened by a minded child - or anyone
and any further incidents for concern you will have no option but to terminate with immediate effect

Thanks everyone. In terms of logging as a concern is that a separate document? This is my third week of looking after him.

**hectors house** · 10-09-2012, 04:21 PM

In NCMA accident/incident folder think there is a space for recording concerns of any kind. Reinforce with this child and the parent that you have a STRICT behaviour policy and would never physically injure a child.

**Valencia** · 10-09-2012, 04:30 PM

Originally Posted by hectors house

In NCMA accident/incident folder think there is a space for recording concerns of any kind. Reinforce with this child and the parent that you have a STRICT behaviour policy and would never physically injure a child.

What do I do if I don't have this? Mum will be here in about half and hour. Can I type something up and ask her to sign?

**Goatgirl** · 10-09-2012, 04:56 PM

Yes, just write down what was said today, what you think of it and how you will proceed. write that you have discussed with Mum. when you have discussed with Mum write what she has said in response and ask her to sign and date to confirm the incident and your conversation. You sign too

Pipsqueak · 10-09-2012, 05:05 PM

Originally Posted by Valencia

What do I do if I don't have this? Mum will be here in about half and hour. Can I type something up and ask her to sign?

you should have a behaviour management policy hun. check bromley (BCMA) for a sample.

**hectors house** · 10-09-2012, 05:54 PM

Originally Posted by Pipsqueak

you should have a behaviour management policy hun. check bromley (BCMA) for a sample.

Make sure when you do your behaviour management policy that you include that you can use physical restraint to prevent child injuring themselves or others and that if you do use it you will write up an incident form.

**migimoo** · 10-09-2012, 06:00 PM

I'd just agree with what everyone else says...record,record,record and make sure mum signs after letting her know how upset you are even if it's just a handwritten record, it sounds awful but as lone workers we need to cover ourselves first and foremost.

I once had a 4yr old square up to me and shout in my face that I wasn't allowed to tell her off and that her mum was gonna kill me after asking her not to climb up a slide....mum's reaction was to laugh and say "what's she like?!"....no need to guess where her behaviour stemmed from!

**sarah707** · 10-09-2012, 06:18 PM

I am not sure I could continue working with a child who threatened me like that.

He is presumably in your 4 week settling in period - I'd seriously consider giving notice.

Hugs xx

**miffy** · 10-09-2012, 07:21 PM

Originally Posted by Valencia

So my 4 (almost 5) year old mindee (who likes to get his own way) basically told me today that if I made him do anything he didn't want to do e.g. clear up his mess after drawing, toys etc he would tell his mum that I pinched him.

I was mortified!

What do I do? I am planning to tell his mum about it and log in daily diary, but I can't believe how some children can be these days. Is there anything else I should do?

I would have a big concern about looking after this child - who knows what he might accuse you or anyone else of.....................

Miffy xx

**madmamma** · 10-09-2012, 07:33 PM

Agree with everyone's comments.... log and speak to parent asap

Not that you're likely to find out, but where on earth does a child of this age get that type of thought to begin with?!

**Ripeberry** · 10-09-2012, 07:49 PM

Hope you managed to get through to the parents about the seriousness of this and if they brushed it off then terminate!
It must be awful for reception teachers...imagine a class full of these delightful little monsters

Too many think they know 'their rights' but don't know how to 'earn' their rights in the first place..

**Helen Dempster** · 10-09-2012, 09:31 PM

I had a 4yo mindee who I eventually had to give notice on (he's since been diagnosed with Autism). However, one day he turned to me and said I was naughty cos I punched and kicked him! He also told me that I would never work again! I ended up seeking advice and reported myself to Ofsted (who were lovely about it, I have to say). But I had to keep a written record of it and had all the names of people I'd spoken to (ie SS/Ofsted/NCMA etc).

Keep a note of it somewhere (diary?) and speak to his mum about it.

Good luck!

**The Juggler** · 11-09-2012, 12:54 PM

good advice given hon. tell mum what happened. log it as an incident and get mum to sign and speak to mindee together. I would prefer not to have a child like this at the setting. i'd always be worried what else they might try.

**Tatjana** · 11-09-2012, 02:27 PM

This is a dangerous situation for you, this child can accuse you or anyone else in your household of anything, is it really worth the risk of jeopardising your job and/or family's reputation over this child? I wouldn't want to deal with this, I would give notice, this child sounds like trouble.

**Mouse** · 11-09-2012, 02:29 PM

Originally Posted by Tatjana

This is a dangerous situation for you, this child can accuse you or anyone else in your household of anything, is it really worth the risk of jeopardising your job and/or family's reputation over this child? I wouldn't want to deal with this, I would give notice, this child sounds like trouble.

I agree with that. I couldn't work with a child knowing they could say absolutely anything about me. I'd have to give notice.