Policy on taking away a conforter.

**handeme** · 07-09-2012, 06:53 PM

Does anyone have a policy example on giving up a child's comforter?

I have a full time mindee who's parents want him to give up the dummy but by the sounds of it they are wanting me to do most of the leg work. Not to have it here hut can at home. I've made it clear that its all or nothing

X

**Boris** · 07-09-2012, 07:05 PM

How old is the child? I don't have a policy for this but I do have a kind of rule for the older children that comforters go in their drawer until sleeptime (unless upset or tired). I don't think I would want to be the bad guy banning the dummy if I thought parents were not doing the same!

**Velleity** · 07-09-2012, 07:23 PM

Aww that's sad. I wouldn't be banning it from mine if it wasn't banned at home too heh

**miffy** · 07-09-2012, 07:35 PM

I don't have a policy on this.

If parents want their child to give up the dummy then you need to decide together how you will do this - I can't see the point in the child not hAving a dummy when with you but then having it at home whenever they want.

Perhaps you could suggest to parents that they give the dummy to the child at sleep times and you will do the same.

Miffy xx

**Rubybubbles** · 07-09-2012, 07:39 PM

TBH I tend to find that the children naturally don't have them at mine unless tired cos I am a meanie and put them out of the way lol!

I am sure most on here pop them away until nap times, then as soon as collection comes parents pop in the dummy, give them the smelly blanket

(It's friday, I can't be bothered being polite

)

**handeme** · 07-09-2012, 08:10 PM

This is my problem, he only has his dummy here for nap time bit at home he has it in all day.

A couple of weeks ago much suggested that Santa was going to take his dummy, I mentioned that Christmas probay wasn't the best time. The next thing you know thru have pulled him off his dummy and are letting him go without.

He settled fine for me the first week but was a nightmare for mum and dad at night. He now is unsettled during his day time nap.

He came today upset and dad said they had given in and had given him a dummy but I wasn't and they had thought of not giving him it at a during the day and only for night time.

I have said that I think it needs to be a constant, what happens at home, happens here and vice a versa. He spends 45 hours a week with me, he is 29 months x

**Jo Jo** · 07-09-2012, 08:27 PM

I had a little one (3) who had a dummy we had a rule that while at jo's house she puts it in the cupboard, she didnt ask for it once and id give it to her parents at the end of the day and guess what, they gave it straight to her

you and the parents need to work together and be consistent.

Good luck

**mama2three** · 07-09-2012, 08:32 PM

My little one has never had a dummy with me ( 55 hours a week!)- there isnt even one in her bag for when upset / ill etc. She has it every time I see her out with parents - gets it the sec they get into the car . Dont understand them tbh - she quite obviously doesnt need it but she has got them wrapped around her little finger.

Pipsqueak · 07-09-2012, 09:51 PM

ahh now I see a difference in a dodie and a comforter like a blankie or teddy or raggy.

A dummy can damage teeth and mouth (muscles), hinder speech etc A dodie is damaging

children can have their dodies at nap time but other than that it goes up on the side or in their bag.

however i would not accept me being the big bad meanie and the parents not following through at home

**Mummits** · 08-09-2012, 07:23 AM

To be honest when I read the word "policy" I couldn't believe anyone would have one! There surely has to be a limit to the situations you can dream up policies for, and a point where you just have to play things by ear or discuss with parents and agree a way forward. (I am feeling very anti-paperwork today.)

That said, I personally dislike dummies and (gently) try to steer any little ones away from having them, firstly whilst awake, then altogether, and would very strongly encourage parents to do likewise. I suppose if a little one was very dependent or parents really insistent then I would have to put up with the dummy, but that has never happened so far and none of my current children use them at all (though they are still in the drawer). I also wouldn't be happy to be made the bad guy and expected to do all the hard work while parents did not follow through or support - the same with potty training.

**gegele** · 08-09-2012, 07:34 AM

here as soon as child is settled as they pass the door i take it out

dummy dodie or whatever you call them are COMFORTER so unless in distress or need to sleep they don't ned comforting as really happy in my home

I hate the stress that it put on us, the stress of losing the precious dummy, blanky....

i have a lo who didn't have a dummy in my house in 18months at least, not even nap time... I met the family in town he was in buggy with dummy in mouth!!

me being my gentle tactful self : "what are you doing with this in your mouth??, i looked at mum and tutted really loud!!!

they love me

**nikki thomson** · 08-09-2012, 08:15 AM

I don't understand why parents have to make everything so complicated, if they don't want there lo to have a dummy just throw them away end off story. My ds had a dummy but I was very strict with it, he only ever had it at nap time snd it never came out the bedroom and then when he was 18mths old I decided he didn't need it anymore so just stopped giving it to him, the first night he cried for about 10 mins at bed time and that was that.
It's the parents who make these things complicated either do it or don't. X

**singingcactus** · 08-09-2012, 10:21 AM

I don't have a policy for this, in fact I keep the number of my policies very low, only have ones that are necessary for the children and myself.

To stop using a dummy you don't need a policy, just pop the dummy away, and only bring it out for nap times. Then at some point substitute the dummy for a squishy teddy, or soft cloth to be had when taking naps.

At my house kids are not allowed to run/crawl around with dummies in mouths, it quite dangerous. So they only have them when they sit down or are napping.

For comforters, as in lovies and blankets, no way am I taking them off a little child, they will give them up when they are ready.

**mummyof3** · 08-09-2012, 03:04 PM

I started with 15mth old who didn't have any comforter (or so I was led to believe) they took it off him when he came to my house so he wouldn't sleep for me and he'd sleep through the night

Backfired on them because he got used to sleeping without it and slept for 3hrs+ a day as he was so tired and when they tried to give him the dummy he refused to use it

I personally would not deprive any child of their comforter if parent was just trying to make it easier for them. You need to work together!

**tialil** · 08-09-2012, 09:12 PM

Why must we be the meanies. I have had it happen so many times. Dont give little one the dummy at yours and as soon as parents walk through the door they are ramming it in the childs mouth.

Last year I grew a pair !!! Had a parent do exactly the same as above, I wasnt to give dummy so they didnt sleep but they would shove it straight in - ''she's tired they would say''. I told them straight if I got to have a child upset in the day and they want to give their dummy to the them as soon as they walk in because they cant cope with the child moaning and hanging off their leg at least wait until they leave my house so I cant see all my hard work go ''down the drain''. grrrr

Parents cant pass the buck - we need to work together

**handeme** · 09-09-2012, 07:02 AM

I was just thinking more of a policy to re inforce that we have to work together and sing from the same sheet.

I am very much of the understanding from these parents that they pay me so will do as I am told. It will be made very clear when I see them in the morning that this is not the case.

I am so cross, dreading the morning x