The silliest of arguments

[mr man]

Yet it's sssoooooo important to them.

But is never with out arguments.

How do you solve, sort out where the children sit at the table or worse sit in the car.
It's driving me nuts, they will argue over anything. I have been saying where they sit, but still find them giving each other looks and then if I've forgotten they sat there last , then I'm all frustrated over having to think about or remember who's needs, I just don't need it. I've told them this too. Ages from 8- 10.
I would allocate them a seat but the my car seat situation will change depending on who's in the car when I have little ones.
My set of twins little sister is joining us In September so i can see it got g mental, need to nip it in the bud pronto.

Same as when sitting at the table........ Arrghhhh

Anyone else have this ? Thanks.

[Sunflowers]

I just wouldnt give them options, you dictate where they sit and they deal with it. at that age some tough life lessons get learnt hence "its sooo unfair" being a popular phrase with them. Yup life is indeed often unfair!

and "because I say so" is indeed a very valid reason when ask "why?"

[angeldelight]

Kids hey

Tell them to make choices and if they can't without arguing it then becomes your choice with no arguments,your word is final

They will moan and groan but hey that's kids

Be patient,stay strong ,you can win this battle

Good luck

Angel xx

[AliceK]

Yes I get this as well. As far as seats in the car or at the table go I tell them where to sit and that's that. At lunch/tea time when they come in the kitchen I tell them to find their drinks bottles and sit where their bottles are. My lot argue over everything. The silliest thing is who gets to open the front gate whenever we are going out or arriving back . I ended up having a rota pinned up to the front door so that everyone knew who's turn it was to open the gate and when.

xxx

[blue bear]

When mine were younger my own children had allocated seats in the car and at the table that they used whether I was working or not, mindees were told where to sit. If necessary to use the front seat (not keen for children to be in front ever) then my eldest wold go in the front.
When you have so many you can't be letting them pick and choose or the children just take charge and you totally loose it. Mine have home made place mats (laminated pictures) and where I put them on the table is where they sit.

[bunyip]

The biggest problem I had was when they chose which boardgame to play. I set up a chart with a very original name (the 'whose turn is it to chose a game' chart.) Whoever is at the top of the chart gets to chose next, then gets relegated to the bottom of the chart and gradually works their way up.

It does work, but I really don't want to be doing this for everything they fall out over. I've also found they've starting bargaining: "I'll swap my place on the chart for some of your raisins" or "you can sit in the front with mummy if you let me choose the game."

I haven't decided whether or not they're learning one of life's important lessons.

[Chatterbox Childcare]

I think everyone has this. We rotate our depending on who was in the front last.

If you have enough seats try leaving the front seat empty for a journey and say that until they can stop squabbling then no one will sit there. Of course they don't know that tomorrow someone has to sit there !

[~Grasshopper~]

mine argue over the colour bowl to have breakfast in

however my 2 year old knows his colours now .

oh and the he's got 7 grapes and 2 slices of apple argument drives me nuts. its a fruit salad i didnt count everyones slices.

im going to seek out some plain bowls for sept when i have another 4 schoolies starting

x

[singingcactus]

It's not something I've come across. But I guess if they were fighting over who sat where at the table, I would just remove the chairs. It should give them a few moments pause to think (before they start to argue about who is going to stand where to eat their food lol).
For the car everyone sits where it is best for me. I am the one fitting the car seats, fastening the seatbelts, loading kids in and out, I know what order I need them to get out of the car to make it safest for me and them, so I chose where they sit. End of.
For crockery, all my china is white so nothing to argue about. The bigger kids all drink from the clear glasses, and the little kids all get assigned a coloured glass when they arrive with me and that never changes. Cutlery is all silverware and the same as each other.
I think there is just something about me that it never enters their heads to kick off about that kind of thing. They save their kicking off for other things that push my buttons better

[miffy]

It's not something I've come across. But I guess if they were fighting over who sat where at the table, I would just remove the chairs. It should give them a few moments pause to think (before they start to argue about who is going to stand where to eat their food lol).

Ooooh I like that idea! Mine all tend to sit in the same place each meal time anyway so they don't fall out about that - mind, who is having the "dog" (picture) apron and who is having the plain blue one is another matter altogether!

Miffy xx

[suzyjane73]

I had this when I first started minding all the I want to sit there, I always get in the car last, I want the pink cup! Blah, Blah, Blah

Like an idiot I tried to accommodate this with taking turns and all of that, then that in itself becomes a source of arguement.

Then you remember. This is my house! I am in charge!

This is my car, you sit where I ask you to sit or you will make everyone late for school and you will have to explain to your teacher and parents why you where late, would you like me to get Mrs X on the phone right now so you can explain that to her?

This is my house and my table, you sit where I ask you to sit or go without your snack/drink/playing the game/whatever.

I don't have any nonsense anymore!

[tialil]

My own children always had their own set seats in the car and by the table and when it came to food bowls, cups etc they did have their set colours. The one with the green bedroom had green and the one with the blue bedroom had the blue- was so easy.

Only the past 2 years have I had arguments where children are going to sit (minded children as mine are now nearly 15 and 17 and are wise and keep away when I have kiddies here ) and they are all after schoolers so I got around this by for a few weeks I put down place cards on the table before I collected the children and every night they had to sit somewhere different next to someone else - this soon stopped the bickering.

Now I just call from the kitchen can all sit by the table without pushing or shoving and it works

I have also had trouble with 10 yr olds not listening and swinging on chairs so have given the warning 3 times and they have had to stand by the table to eat.

As for car I dont have access to a car for work so no problems there

[stardust]

If I get 'im not sitting there' they get either 'oh your walking then okay see you in 5 or you can wait here' or 'Okay where abouts on the floor will you be sitting then' to which they just do it. I get the 'humph' from them first but they do, do it.

[christine e]

If I get 'im not sitting there' they get either 'oh your walking then okay see you in 5 or you can wait here' or 'Okay where abouts on the floor will you be sitting then' to which they just do it. I get the 'humph' from them first but they do, do it.

Yes I say this too. A childminder friend of mine has children who would fall out over who was going to hold which hand of hers - they wanted the one with the rings on her finger

[mr man]

Knew it wasn't just me, love the idea of placemats, I'll set that up for my day back, it's teacher training before school starts tues 4th.

If they still moan the chairs are getting removed.

I'm going allocate a seat in the car, they sit there simple.
I'm getting tough

[The Juggler]

my own two are like this - they are 10 and 12 - they've been like this since they were little.

I think it shows they are comfy with each other and behaving like siblings

it's a never ending battle