Potty Training - He won't let go!

[Shivvi]

Hi, I need advise please.

Little boy I look after is will be 3 in December and I am working with the parents to potty train him.
The problem is that he holds his wee for ages and does not let go or if he does it is just a tiny bit at a time.
At first he didn't want to sit on the potty but he is fine with that now so we have had some progress. He does tell me when he needs to go - although I can see from his behaviour that he needs to!If he wets himself he gets very upset - I always say never mind and comfort him.

We sing songs, read books, talk, anything for him to relax and go.

Any tips on helping him relax and just let go?

Thank you

[PaulaR]

I had a stubbon boy that wouldn't come out of nappies, a different situation but i suggested to his mum that as he was a big boy now to go and let him pick some pants of his own choice from the shops. He showed everyone his new pants when he went to the loo for the first time and was thrilled

[QualityCare]

Do you use the bathroom/cloakroom if you do try running the cold tap quite fast the sound of running water often relaxes the muscles.

[Monkey26]

You said he won't sit on the potty... Have you tried getting him to stand instead?! That's probably what he has seen from daddy etc so he could be confused as to why he is being expected to sit?

Good luck! Xx

[JCrakers]

Maybe bypass the potty and try the toilet.

I had the same problem with a 2.5yr old girl. She would hold her wee all day and it just wasn't good for her. We kept her in nappies for another 3m and then tried again, then she was ready

[curlycathy]

Apparently getting them to blow bubbles whilst they are sitting works. I have no idea if it actually does work, just something a health visitor once told me!

[Playmate]

Are you standing watching whilst he is on the potty? if so try walking away and doing something else. I have several children who don't liked being watched and insist on the door being shut. I tend to stand just outside the door so I can still hear

[Shivvi]

Thank you everyone. I will try ALL the tips and see if I get any change.
My instinct is to give it a rest for a month and then try again but I will have to speak to mum.
Its really good to have this forum and know that there are people out there who have been through the same and are willing to share ideas. Thank you

[mrs_scottydog]

I've just been through this with my DS (age 3 1/2). The first week of potty training he was holding it in all the time, by the end of the week he was point blank refusing to sit on the potty or toilet even though it was obvious he needed to go. DH then made him a reward chart. After successfully using either the potty or toilet he could put a sticker on it. When all 50 squares had a sticker in it he could have the toy he'd been wanting for ages. Well the chart worked, as soon as DS was given it and had it explained it was like a switch had been flicked. He now lets us know when he needs to go and goes straight away! And last night he got his Jupiter, after a week of the chart.
Might be worth having a chat with parents and seeing if they can create him a chart (with or without a big reward at the end). Hx

[smurfette]

Sure a reward chart is worth a go.. As you say try a couple of the ideas but I think you could be right , a months break and he could be ready

[Mrs Scrubbit]

Have a look out for the little balls with funny faces on them , they are designed to float in the toilet and are unflushable( I got mine from Waitrose in the baby section) I forget what they are called ( I will post if I remember) they are made to encourage good aiming skills!