What to do with a 12 year old

[BlondeMoment]

Hi everyone

Over the holidays I have taken on 5 siblings (yes I know I'm insane lol)
They are 12, 10, 8, 6 and 5. My other mindees are 6 and 3.

The 10 year old is great. She leads a lot of play and just mucks in with the little ones. The problem is what to do with the 12 year old. He's the only boy which doesn't help, and bless him, he seems so bored all the time. We went out and bought a construction thing but he's bored with that already although he said he does like to build - I think this particular kit is far too complicated personally - I don't get the instructions either lol.
I do allow him an hour on the X box which seems to help but he can't be on it all the time. We're getting out as much as we can but again, we can't be out all of the time either. He helped wash up after lunch today which kept him entertained and he was very good at it. I don't really have many other jobs he can help with though - I've been thinking really hard.
Does anyone have any ideas or experience with this age? I feel really sorry for him. He's such a nice lad.
Lisa x

[pinkellifun]

I looked after a 12 y.o. boy on Monday and he watched a DVD and spent the rest of the time either playing with the other mindees or doing jigsaws or playing board games. He seemed quite happy to do this.

Is he interested in jigsaws? Could you find one that would interest him and take him a long time to do it so he could do a little each time he's there?

Could he design a game or activity for the other children but make all the pieces himself?

Is he interested in music? Do you have different instruments he could use to make his own music recording?

That's all I can think of for now but will post again if I think of any more?

HTH

[BlondeMoment]

I looked after a 12 y.o. boy on Monday and he watched a DVD and spent the rest of the time either playing with the other mindees or doing jigsaws or playing board games. He seemed quite happy to do this.

Is he interested in jigsaws? Could you find one that would interest him and take him a long time to do it so he could do a little each time he's there?

Could he design a game or activity for the other children but make all the pieces himself?

Is he interested in music? Do you have different instruments he could use to make his own music recording?

That's all I can think of for now but will post again if I think of any more?

HTH

Thank you! I have tried the puzzles thing but he says he hates them lol! I like the designing a game for the others idea. I'll try that one.
Any more suggestions very welcome

[curlycathy]

What about getting them to work out a play themselves or something? The older ones could work on a simple script and then you could get all the children involved in acting it out and dressing up.

Learning to cook? Help him work out making lunch for example, even if you just do pasta and a sauce. Or make sandwiches. Make cookies - that always goes down well with my ds!!

My ds used to like having responsibility - so if we were out for a walk for example he liked holding his sister and a mindees hand.

Is he sporty? Football, rounders, cricket.

Does he have a library card or do you have one that you could get some age-appropriate books out with?

When I minded often the younger ones would ask some random question and my ds would like to find out the answer for them - like the time we tried to explain to a mindee why a whale would not possibly fit in the pond we used to pass on the school run. DS looked up how big a whale was and paced it out to show him!

[BlondeMoment]

What about getting them to work out a play themselves or something? The older ones could work on a simple script and then you could get all the children involved in acting it out and dressing up.

Learning to cook? Help him work out making lunch for example, even if you just do pasta and a sauce. Or make sandwiches. Make cookies - that always goes down well with my ds!!

My ds used to like having responsibility - so if we were out for a walk for example he liked holding his sister and a mindees hand.

Is he sporty? Football, rounders, cricket.

Does he have a library card or do you have one that you could get some age-appropriate books out with?

When I minded often the younger ones would ask some random question and my ds would like to find out the answer for them - like the time we tried to explain to a mindee why a whale would not possibly fit in the pond we used to pass on the school run. DS looked up how big a whale was and paced it out to show him!

Yes I'm def giving him responsibilities like holding little ones hands crossing roads etc. It's more about activities he can do during free play times. We've got cooking planned and many other activities he can join in with no problem. I tried letting him help make lunch yesterday but my kitchen is so tiny that more than one person in there at a time is a struggle and of course, if he was helpingm everyone wanted to help and it became hell lol.

I really just need some ideas of things he can do freely when I'm tied up with supervising other things (that he doesn't want to do like painting etc).
I've asked him about reading. He says he hates it lol.
Oh dear

[linda2girls]

I find that a difficult age. All I can think of is Lego or maybe junk modelling. I used to have an Art Attack book which I gave the older ones to give them ideas to making and doing. Or how about buying the sticks like matchsticks and seeing if he is interested in modelling, or some clay maybe.

Does he like Jenga or any sort of board games that the younger ones could join in with?

Sorry, can't think of anything else.

Linda.

[BlondeMoment]

I find that a difficult age. All I can think of is Lego or maybe junk modelling. I used to have an Art Attack book which I gave the older ones to give them ideas to making and doing. Or how about buying the sticks like matchsticks and seeing if he is interested in modelling, or some clay maybe.

Does he like Jenga or any sort of board games that the younger ones could join in with?

Sorry, can't think of anything else.

Linda.

I've got connect 4, Mr Pop, Guess Who and a few others but he's not interested. Really hard work this one. He did say he likes to build but I'm afraid my lego is very basic. He's also quite concerned about being 'cool'.

[caz3007]

I had 12 year old boys in the past.

Mine used to like watching TV, playing in the garden. They also used to like crafting, although they said not, but once I spread loads of bits on the table off they went and made some great tiny books and lots of other things. They liked Lego and Kynex and drawing. They mentioned cartoon drawing, so I got some 'How to' type books from the library.

I did also allow them to bring things from home if they wished, but then I have a seperate room they could quietly play in away from the LO's

[mushpea]

my son is 11yrs and likes lego and kinnectm he likes making little plays up for the older children to watch either with his bare hands and feet or sometimes with our puppets. He loves cooking and would happily make stuff by himself, My daughter is 13yrs and has been able to bake cakes on her own since she was 12yrs although as it somones elses child I think I would be there for the oven part.e
how about junk modeling or hama beads, or how about a swing ball bit dodgy when the others are in the garden but somthing he could do himself
have you tried asking him what he likes to do at home? I know my sons answer would be minecraft on the xbox or ipod but there are other things he likes.
what happens if you just leave him to get on with it when you are busy with the others, what does he do,, you may find after a while of being bored he finds his own things to do.

[BlondeMoment]

my son is 11yrs and likes lego and kinnectm he likes making little plays up for the older children to watch either with his bare hands and feet or sometimes with our puppets. He loves cooking and would happily make stuff by himself, My daughter is 13yrs and has been able to bake cakes on her own since she was 12yrs although as it somones elses child I think I would be there for the oven part.e
how about junk modeling or hama beads, or how about a swing ball bit dodgy when the others are in the garden but somthing he could do himself
have you tried asking him what he likes to do at home? I know my sons answer would be minecraft on the xbox or ipod but there are other things he likes.
what happens if you just leave him to get on with it when you are busy with the others, what does he do,, you may find after a while of being bored he finds his own things to do.

He mopes lol. Today he went and sat on the stairs with his head in his hands.
I've had hamma beads out, and kinnects, and lego lol. Not touched it.
Great suggestions though. My garden isn't big enough for a swing ball.
My tiny house is another problem lol.
Thanks for your ideas x

[BlondeMoment]

I had 12 year old boys in the past.

Mine used to like watching TV, playing in the garden. They also used to like crafting, although they said not, but once I spread loads of bits on the table off they went and made some great tiny books and lots of other things. They liked Lego and Kynex and drawing. They mentioned cartoon drawing, so I got some 'How to' type books from the library.

I did also allow them to bring things from home if they wished, but then I have a seperate room they could quietly play in away from the LO's

Yeah I do have a seperate room too and have told him he's welcome to use it to do his own thing.
Love the idea of spreading loads of craft stuff on table. I'll do that and see what happens! Thanks x

[mushpea]

lol sounds like a typical almost teenage boy,, I feel sorry for kids at this age who come to us, they are at that age when they want to be independant and go off with their mates but are not really old enough to be left a lone all day and obvously I know you cant let him go off on his own as you are responsible for him.
prehaps just leave him to get on with it for a couple of days and see what happens, it sounds lik eyou are providing lots for him to do so i wouldnt worry too much.
if you have a seperate room for him is there somting he is allowed to bring from home that he can have in there just for him?

[Bridey]

lol sounds like a typical almost teenage boy,, I feel sorry for kids at this age who come to us, they are at that age when they want to be independant and go off with their mates but are not really old enough to be left a lone all day and obvously I know you cant let him go off on his own as you are responsible for him.
prehaps just leave him to get on with it for a couple of days and see what happens, it sounds lik eyou are providing lots for him to do so i wouldnt worry too much.
if you have a seperate room for him is there somting he is allowed to bring from home that he can have in there just for him?

I agree - a childminder is just the wrong place for a 12 year old boy to be. They are better off at holiday clubs mixing with their own age with lots of organised sports and activities for their age group. I've just finished with a 12 year old after-school (TTO - there was no way I'd have him in the holidays) and I gave him the run of my spare room with books and an old tv & ps2 and a choice of age appropriate games and dvds. Sometimes he mingled with the younger children, sometimes he used his room.

[lulubelle]

i have a 10 yr old boy coming to look around on monday, he will be the oldest on my books and i am really worried i have nothing for him to do! we do have some basic lego, lots of arts and crafts etc but worried he will get bored!

[Bridey]

I would speak to him and his mum and think about how he would fit in with your other mindees before you decide to take him on. Ask him what is he expecting, what does he enjoy to do etc. There is no need to worry, if you don't think the job is right then just say no to it. Every child is different and there is a huge difference between a 10 year old boy and a 12 year old who is at secondary school

[watgem]

I have a 10 year old boy mindee he's very polite but i think he is outgrowing us, he doesn't want to join in with the others and appears bored with mostly everything although he is very polite so its hard to be sure, even the ds doesn't seem as appealing anymorevery sad there is nothing for this age group in our area

[loocyloo]

my own 10 yr old is ok, but moments of boredom setting in. luckily as he's mine he CAN go out and play with his friends or his friends come over. i have a 7 yr old boy mindee a couple of days a week in the holidays and they play football ALL day! DS moans that when mindee is here he can't go out with his friends, but its currently more noise than anything else!

[BlondeMoment]

Just an update...Since he's got to know me more he has chilled out a bit. He mucks in with the others a bit more and has really enjoyed a few outings.
I've had the TV on a little more than I usually allow and he's been allowed to choose a dvd to watch a few of the mornings. He's also really into the arts and crafts we do. Had great fun spaghetti painting and we bought some fimo modelling clay.
Think I just needed to get to know him a little
Thanks for all your suggestions and support everyone x

[Maza]

I covered a Year 6 class once and the teacher had set them a challenge of building the tallest structure they could using uncooked spagetti and marshmellows. Kept them entertained and challenged for ages. If he likes building it might be worth a try - quite cheap too!

Gardening?