Is this worth making a note about....

[VeggieSausage]

I was wondering do people make notes to keep on file about such things as parents taking child out of school for a reason and telling child to keep it a secret as they haven't got permission? I know it sounds petty.....

there are other things such as no-one went to sports day (first one at new school), or anything at school, parents often away and leave kids with relatives, or always have people staying so there is very little family time with the children and I think they suffer....attention seeking etc. Not sure if it is relevant or noteworthy?

[nikki thomson]

Um, from a personal point of view I would say not, it's just different parenting styles. Who they choose to leave there children with and not going to sports day is really non of my business and I know lots of parents who take there children out of school for the odd day and say there ill, I don't really think there's anything to note but maybe I'm wrong it's just my view on it. X

[Helen79]

It won't hurt to note it down just in case but none of those things would particularly worry me, but obviously you know the family and how it's affecting the children.
If the school absences were very regular then that would worry me but a one off wouldn't and unfortunately some parents can't get time off work for sports day or have other reasons that they can't make it. I've had to miss some of dd's special assemblies where she's got an award because of working.

[christine e]

If your gut feeling is that there is something not quite right then there is no harm in making notes

Cx

[jadavi]

I agree with Christine. Gut feeling is an important resource in our job!

[wendywu]

[

QUOTE=VeggieSausage;1130926]I was wondering do people make notes to keep on file about such things as parents taking child out of school for a reason and telling child to keep it a secret as they haven't got permission? I know it sounds petty.....

I would not even think about noting this side of it down. Lots of parents do it

[VeggieSausage]

yes i suppose you are all right, just so many incidences and this one was because the grandfather was ill, so why not tell the school? Older child wanted to tell me about it all when she came out of school on thursday, they had told her he was very ill before going to school in the morning. Then hadn't mentioned it to school, I asked her if she had talked to the teacher and she said she isn't allowed to tell people things unless they are close to them, seems so cruel for a child to not be able to talk about worries to a teacher. This child has come to live with the dad as her own mother is ill. I think they only didn't want her to say as they were taking her out of school on the friday....but they never put the child's feelings first it doesn't seem

[Bridey]

it sounds to me as though the parents may have a huge amount on their plate. They may have handled things wrong but its hard to think clearly at times like that and maybe they just wanted some privacy during a difficult time. I'm a little uncomfortable that you are judging them as doing something 'cruel' and speculating about their reasons for what they do without actually speaking to them. I don't see any cruelty here, just a parenting style that obviously clashes with yours. Perhaps you could try asking if there were anything they would like to you do to support the children during this difficult time to ease their burden.

[VeggieSausage]

i said cruel as older child is always disappointed, eg it was the stepmothers day off on sports day but she still didn't go and lo was upset about grandfather but couldn't tell her teacher because she had been told not to....seems mean to me....

[moogster1a]

you might think they're a bit mean, but it's certainly nowhere near abuse. TBH I'd be very very annoyed as a parent if a childcare provider was making a written record of this sort of thing . Not saying it's how I would parent, but I would not be making an official record.

[VeggieSausage]

Ok I shouldn't have used the word cruel, I didn't mean there was any abuse, just that it seems unfair on children, I posted the thread to ask everyone's advice so thanks everyone....

[Baildon bears]

Its a difficult one, as a Childminder you will get parents and Children from all walks of life, I have had one child who I was worried about, I don't childmind that child anymore but I still see child at school sports day, school production wearing uniform when all the other kids are in non-uniform and yes it pulls at my heart strings but at the end of the day the child is not my child, though I do agree that these little things can have a huge impact on the childs future life and self confidence. I don't think it worrants noting down. You just have to except that people are different, I was a bit of stability for that child for a few years and I hope I have made a difference to his life I think the best thing to do is support the parent aswell as the child.