My poor friend
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Thread: My poor friend

  1. #1
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    Default My poor friend

    My poor friend has just gone upstairs to find her daughter has drawn all over her walls, bedding, books, wardrobe and other furnature and it is not the first time

    Has anyone had any experience with this and any advice?

  2. #2
    jumpinjen Guest

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    Advice? NO drawing implements upstairs and NO unsupervised upstairs play!! And use google to find out how on earth to get it off everything!! How old is the child?

    Jen x

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    My dd can smell a pen a mile off and ds is no better.

    Hairspray will remove biro. Crayons heat it with a hairdryer and it melts the wax so wipes off. i have also read a white rubber can be very good at removing most things.
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    She is 6 years old and has the attitude of a 16 year old!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by HazeyDayz View Post
    She is 6 years old and has the attitude of a 16 year old!!!
    Oh dear! I assumed you were talking about a toddler.

    At that age I'd be giving her a cloth and telling her not to come down until it was all cleaned off!

    Has your friend asked her daughter why she did it? I'd be hunting down and locking away every pen I could find.

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    The child is old enough to clean it off themselves. But as a child I was a bit like this. I wrecked my bedroom but it was because I was stressed about school and home life in general. Taking pens away helped and also making me clean up the mess.
    My parents got me a giant teddy so that I could either cuddle it or beat it up depending on how I felt.
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    When my daughter, though she was two years old, kept doing this, I provided her with one wall that we painted a chalk-board onto and set her the boundary that she could only draw on this one wall. It worked, mostly.

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    I'd take any mark making materials and put them completley out of the way. Have a designated, supervised area for it.

    My niece did the same with my SIL, who thought it was hilarious! First it was crayons, then felt pens, then one day a whole bottle of Dior Foundation!! Over her bedroom wall. Funnily enough, she didn't see the funny side of that and then actually did something about it!

  9. #9
    jumpinjen Guest

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    Six? Well i would suggest at this age that she is doing it to attract attention and that something is up - although sounding like a reward, after having her participate in the clean up and telling her how sad it makes people to have their things destroyed and a suitable consequence such as not being able to do X because money had to be spent on cleaning materials, I would suggest then trying to spend more time with the child and try to evaluate and get to the bottom of what might be bothering her! (btw that isn't a criticism of your friend's parenting, just something that i have found from experience can help when my daughters are acting out!)

    Jen x

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    my 2 have been through a bit of a destructive phase the last few weeks, nothing on this scale though. ds has drawn on the walls so he lost his pocket money that week so I can buy some more paint to cover it and he spent a long time cleaning it, I knew it wasn't going to come off but he didn't

    dd who's 7 has been doing chores to help earn money to pay for the things she's ruined and she'll be sorting out her old toys in the loft and selling them at a car boot sale to earn some more money to pay it all back.
    The other benefit of her doing chores is that she's always within sight of me so no chance to get up to mischief. I really can't trust her 100% at the minute so unless she's sat watching tv or quiet reading on the sofa she stays in the same room as me either helping me with jobs or cooking the dinner.

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    I'd be asking what has happened in her life to make her so unhappy that she has to draw negative attention to herself

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    I would suggest then trying to spend more time with the child and try to evaluate and get to the bottom of what might be bothering her!
    This is also one of the reasons why I'm getting dd to help with chores and cook with me. It's not just a punishment but some days we just don't spend any time together so at least if she's helping me out then we're spending some time chatting and talking about stuff and hopefully we can work out together why she's been behaving like this.

  13. #13
    Kimmy050983 Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by jumpinjen View Post
    Six? Well i would suggest at this age that she is doing it to attract attention and that something is up - although sounding like a reward, after having her participate in the clean up and telling her how sad it makes people to have their things destroyed and a suitable consequence such as not being able to do X because money had to be spent on cleaning materials, I would suggest then trying to spend more time with the child and try to evaluate and get to the bottom of what might be bothering her! (btw that isn't a criticism of your friend's parenting, just something that i have found from experience can help when my daughters are acting out!)

    Jen x
    I really agree with this! I would try and find the need behind the behaviour - and give her lots of attention to try and find out.

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    my 2 daughters did this when we stayed in a holiday cottageI spent a whole day cleaning and repainting, apparently my mum said it was payback for when I did the exact same thing! don't know what to suggest but sending my sympathy, they do grow out of it eventually lol

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    I'd take the opportunity, while she was helping me clean it off, to talk to her about why she did it in the first place.

    Miffy xx
    Keep smiling!

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    Quote Originally Posted by watgem View Post
    my 2 daughters did this when we stayed in a holiday cottageI spent a whole day cleaning and repainting, apparently my mum said it was payback for when I did the exact same thing! don't know what to suggest but sending my sympathy, they do grow out of it eventually lol
    I don't think I will ever take mine away now as at two my mum left me alone with paints (my fathers permament paints) in the kitchen. I put hand and foot prints all over the floor, walls, cupboards, and even climbed on to the work surfaces.

    I don't remember doing it but the photos make me cringe especially now you say your own children pay you back for things you've done.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jumpinjen View Post
    Six? Well i would suggest at this age that she is doing it to attract attention and that something is up - although sounding like a reward, after having her participate in the clean up and telling her how sad it makes people to have their things destroyed and a suitable consequence such as not being able to do X because money had to be spent on cleaning materials, I would suggest then trying to spend more time with the child and try to evaluate and get to the bottom of what might be bothering her! (btw that isn't a criticism of your friend's parenting, just something that i have found from experience can help when my daughters are acting out!)

    Jen x
    I agree with this, and with Sarah707. It would seem to be attention seeking or an act of defiance, is everything ok at home?

 

 

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