Is a thank you too much to ask?
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  1. #1
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    Default Is a thank you too much to ask?

    Hi

    I've got to vent a bit so I apologise, but I would be grateful if someone could tell me if they think I'm being unreasonable...

    As a relatively new childminder I am working with my first mindee and have been working with him for a few months. Parents alway pay on time, but they seem to be somewhat lacking in manners. Last week on the Friday, the dad emailed me to ask me for some bits of info so he could sort out his voucher claim (technically on my day off) but he didn't say 'please' or 'thanks in advance' on the end of his email. I replied with the relevant info and didn't get a reply, but on a Friday afternoon I thought he might be offsite or something so I didn't think too much of it. Monday comes and he drops off the little one and doesn't say anything about it, so on the Tuesday morning I just thought I'd check, so I said 'did you get my email' to which he said 'yeah, I've just got to get a few more bits together and then I'll submit it'. No mention of THANK YOU still.

    And the more I think about it, the more I realise that his mum never says thanks when she comes to pick him up, not even at the end of the week. I wouldn't mind, but I shlep this little moaner all over town, even giving him little souvenirs to take back from trips and things - I don't get anything like that from them (not that I really expect it though). I bust a gut this week to do Jubilee activities with him all week this week, and when she came to pick him up I said 'we've had a good week' and she said 'yes' and I said 'it's a pity he can't say THANK YOU to me' as a little hint that may be she could, at which point she said 'well, we're not quite at thank you yet'... TOO BLOOMIN RIGHT!

    Is it just me? I wouldn't mind, but I don't exactly earn a lot from doing this and a little gratitude occasionally wouldn't go amiss...

    *sigh*

  2. #2
    onceinabluemoon Guest

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    No you're not being unreasonable but this is pretty normal so you'd best get used to it. :roll eyes:

    It's actually more unusual in my experience, for a parent to say thank you for something which is a sad sad thing but I'm used to it now.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by onceinabluemoon View Post
    No you're not being unreasonable but this is pretty normal so you'd best get used to it. :roll eyes:

    It's actually more unusual in my experience, for a parent to say thank you for something which is a sad sad thing but I'm used to it now.
    I figured as much. I mean, I'm not saying I want to be showered with adoration, but this week was pretty full on and it would have been nice for that to have been acknowledged. Just makes you wonder why you bothered...

  4. #4
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    I'm quite lucky actually. All the little ones I look after have all been taught to say thank you or thank you for having me and all of the parents remind them to say it as they are going.

    The older ones always say thank you for having me and if they forget then parents always say 'what do you say'....it's lovely.

    I'm with you. It doesn't hurt to say thanks does it

    I know I'm very lucky with all my families and I know that a lot of people wouldn't even think to say thanks

  5. #5
    Join Date
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    I agree with you 100%.

    i have been a cm for 18 years and I will say thee majority of my parents have been lovely and have always said please and thank you and from most I get a Christmas present and the occasional bunch of flowers.

    But there have been a few who like your parents have none of the day to day niceties. I always keep it up with the children though, in the hopes that it might rub off

  6. #6
    BucksCM Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by JCrakers View Post
    I'm quite lucky actually. All the little ones I look after have all been taught to say thank you or thank you for having me and all of the parents remind them to say it as they are going.

    The older ones always say thank you for having me and if they forget then parents always say 'what do you say'....it's lovely.

    I'm with you. It doesn't hurt to say thanks does it

    I know I'm very lucky with all my families and I know that a lot of people wouldn't even think to say thanks
    Same here! I'm lucky that I get thank yous at the end of the day too.
    One of the first things I'll teach little ones is the makaton sign for please! My 20m lo can now say it, but he caught on early at 11m...mum was so pleased! He will now say thank you too! As I often say, manners cost nothing!
    Some mums are surprised when they ask to leave the table too!! But i won't let them get down until they've said it...whether mum is standing there or not! Have been known to ask children to get back up to the table and ask properly...they look at mum and then at me...I give them my "childminder look" and they do it! Don't mess with me!

  7. #7
    Pipsqueak Guest

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    Its just becoming more and more common - the lack of manners.... social etiquette appears to be changing - for the worse

    people don't say hi/goodbye - they just walk away
    no please/thank you's - or isn't that a lovely thought
    and my pet hate.. being referred to as the childminders (as in the answer their mobile mid conversation to you and say 'i'm at the childminders' (grr I have a name.... or even my childminders sounds nicer)

  8. #8
    Join Date
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    I don't know how they refer to me elsewhere but I dread to think! My little girl is so good at her pleases and thank yous - I consider them fundamental social skills... In a way I feel sorry for the poor little mite because they are really not setting an example. And it's odd, they are well-to-do people, they're not the kind you would expect this from.

    If anyone has any ideas how I could try and address this with them I would be very pleased to hear them, partly because if they continue I might just lose my temper and I really don't want to.

    (As an added insult, the other week I had about six inches cut off my hair and the dad didn't notice when he dropped off ithe morning, but the he's a guy, so I wasn't too surprised. But when the mum cam to pick up she said 'I see you made it to the hairdresser'... !!!)

    *grits teeth*

  9. #9
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pipsqueak View Post
    Its just becoming more and more common - the lack of manners.... social etiquette appears to be changing - for the worse

    people don't say hi/goodbye - they just walk away
    no please/thank you's - or isn't that a lovely thought
    and my pet hate.. being referred to as the childminders (as in the answer their mobile mid conversation to you and say 'i'm at the childminders' (grr I have a name.... or even my childminders sounds nicer)


    i hate this
    if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
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    manners cost nothing but mean the world I always insist on please and thank you they make the person

 

 

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